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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

irritating pain in the arse mother does it again

14 replies

yummytummy · 15/12/2008 15:10

ok this is my 1st post here so please be gentle! i am just so so angry and upset its untrue. well basically it was my birthday on sat and hubby was away but had organised flowers to be sent, had left my presents etc, even arranged a cake so all was great. then the plan was my sil would come and we would go shopping.so far so good. well i had mentioned all this to my mother the day before saying we would be out and busy so not to phone and i would chat in the week. she said fine. then as we were coming out of shops had 6 missed calls from her and an angry voicemail saying oh u dont answer your phone i was so worried blah blah blah on for ages. i rang back and said there was no reception inside shops only got the messages now and i specifically told u not to ring as would be out. she was like oh i forgot and u werent replying my calls so i thought something had happened. aaaaaahhhhh. this is just why i hate ringing and phonig her it does nmy head in. then it all kicked off into i fight i was upset, she gives me so much stress all year just for one day couldnt she have given it a rest? all f ing year i wait for my bday and hubby made such an effort and the whole day ruined. aaahh am so upset. so comments a nyone?

OP posts:
Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 15/12/2008 15:11

why was your day ruined? She forgot, you reminded her and then 'it all kicked off into a fight' ? what was the 'fight' about?

PenelopePitstops · 15/12/2008 15:12

sounds like you have far more issues than just the phone call tbh

yummytummy · 15/12/2008 15:14

well it kicked off as i was upset that i'd told her not to ring just the day before and she was just going on how she was worried? it just escalated really and then yes there are lonstanding issues between us so every new disagreement makes it worse

OP posts:
Niecie · 15/12/2008 15:14

There is more to this than meets the eye - I know from experience with my father who would do this sort of thing, that this appears trival but I suspect it is the straw that broke the camels back.

ShauntheSheep · 15/12/2008 15:15

Erm Is your mum alright? Sounds to me like she has major problems? Turn off the phone and go relax and enjoy the rest fo your day. Do whatever you enjoy doing. She cant ruin your day if you dont let her. SO GO AND ENJOY Sounds liek you need it

TotalChaos · 15/12/2008 15:15

she sounds like very hard work. Think you just have to accept that and try and rise above it. I would be furious as an adult to deal with hysteria just because of not answering the phone in a shop.

yummytummy · 15/12/2008 15:16

yes niecie definitely last straw so much tension anyway

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 15/12/2008 15:17

Why did you ring her back? You can ignore calls that you don't want to take. My MIL is like this - I just ignore the phone until i am ready and have time to deal with it.

Don't rise to the bait.

belgo · 15/12/2008 15:17

Yes turn off the mobile phone for a few days. Or just email her. Far less intrusive then phoning all the time.

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 15/12/2008 15:18

So clearly you don't believe she 'forgot' that she wasn't supposed to call you.

Put some boundaries round yourself, you could/should have ignored her calls, maybe send her a text, call her when you are available to talk when you want to.

This is your choice, she can't ruin your day if you don't engage.

MerryMadMarg · 15/12/2008 15:18

Next time turn your phone off and leave a voice mail saying 'I'm out celebrating my birthday in style. Please leave a message which I will respond to in due time' - or some such!!!

Flibbertyjibbet · 15/12/2008 15:18

Oh god I hate it when people think they can get hold of you any time day or night and start going doolaly if you go briefly incommunicado because your phone has no signal etc.
Presumably your mother is old enough to remember that she coped before mobiles/answering machines etc.

You said hubby had arranged a cake. I'd just pour a glass of wine and scoff that cake, you will feel better

kormaisforlifenotjustchristmas · 15/12/2008 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

islandofsodor · 15/12/2008 15:20

I hate mobile phones. I have had dh's mother and sister in a wild panic because I chose not to answer mine or have left it behind when I've been out for the day.

You'd have thought the world had come to an ened. They started ringing my parents at work panicking!!!!

My Mum luckily deosn;t do mobiles and hates them even more than I do.

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