to encourage my lovely neighbour to take off to Notthingham to stay with her friend over Chrismas

[OrmIrian]

because she has the most hideous, unloving, ungrateful family in the UK? I have never met a more giving and generous person. She does loads for everyone. And her family treat her like sh*t. She came in yet again to see me in floods of tears, apologising for bothering me, with yet another tale of woe, this time about her vile DD.

She made some throw-away comment about going away for Christmas to stay with her friend. And I told her she should (and see the GP as well as she's very depressed). Because it seems to me that they all just bring her down, take her for granted and generally treat her like a doormat. Going away and leaving them all to it would be the best non-doormat behaviour I can think of.

Is it unreasonable to leave an (adult) family to stew in it's own juice when they are responsible for making one member so miserable?

No, YANBU. In fact, I think I'd drive her there myself.

How are you going help her see this? I'm a right cow to my Mum she sends me potty I can't help it. I know, I know I should try harder blah, blah. This year Mum is spending Christmas with my JW sister and family who will not be celebrating Christams and not such a control freaky like me.

I think she's part way there already starbear. SHe is at the end of her rope with them - at last!

I would drive her there is I had the time. Honestly. And enjoy the look on their faces.

Could you give her the fare and book the tickets as a lovely Christmas present.OR at least help her book the trip to get her there.

Im in nottingham and miss my nan like mad as she passed away this year, she can come and stay with me as my surrogate nan! ill appreciate her!

You must make her go. And don't tell the family in advance in case they try to talk her out of it.

knakard - I think you've hit upon a winner - really what a happiness making thing - MNet should try and 'mix and match' next year. Families who've lost someone with those who would welcome some contact with a family and feel more alone.

Lots of people will find next year hard... so maybe we could start planning early?

Well im well up for adopt a grand parent as i have none left !

Its the stories that i miss most. I know everyone moans that their gps give it all the "in my day" especially when your having a whinge about i dont know ......parent and toddler parking! it really puts in perspective.

If anyone has one going spare i bagsy them.

I'll let her know knakard

She is going! And without any more prompting for me. Apparently vile husband came home and found vile son (who has just left to set up home with even more horrible gf) using the washing machine. VH had row with VS and mum went and booked tickets. Honestly they are a truly awful ungrateful bunch.

So glad to here the news OrmIrian
Can we have an RAF servicing granddad with stories of the Raj who with think my Mum is a dusky maiden flirt with her and get drunk. I've never had a granddad and Ds hasn't either

I have one of them Starbear, RAF officer 81 years old, his Mother was born in England but went to India as a tint babe in arms, withe her Army officer Father, so he is a child of the Raj (almost)

While I bet he has fantastic stories. My Mum tells fantastic stories but I've heard them all now and need a new set. My Dad, sadly, gone now, rarely talked about his childhood. When he did it made me cry. My BF father-in-law was a piano player in WWll, in a swing band. he told my DH & me his adventures but not his sons. I think it's because the stories included naughty ladies!