to be slightly miffed that DP went against my wishes?

[flixx]

DH has 2 DD's with his ex (age 5 and 6). All his ex has ever done is critizise me and my 2 DC (age 9 and 10). She once even said that I am a bad mother, apparently she based this on the fact that I make my DC do chores for their pocket money .

I have tried to build a good relationship with DP's DD's but every step of the way she has said bad things about me to her DD's, despite this I have managed to maintain a good realtionship with the girls and we are close.

Every xmas I always send card to DP's ex, but this year I have had enough of always trying to be the nice, reasonable one and specifically said to DP that I would not be sending her a card. I'm sick of her thinking she can just behave however she wants. I wouldn't have minded if DP felt the need to send her one as long as my name wasn't on it.

DP took my DC to town with him yesterday and I just found out from my DD that DP let her pick a card for his ex and that later on when he had shouted her upstairs it was so she could write this card out, she put all our names on it too, including mine.

I feel like DP has really gone behind my back, the way he did it was so secretive. It would have been bad enough for him to have put my name on the card but him allowing DD to do this has made me so angry

But did he tell your DD to put your name on or just not stop her doing it?

If she did it but he didn't stop her I think that was the right thing to do to stop the children becoming involved and aware of the problem.

He actually let her write the whole thing out. Unfortunately DC are already aware of the problem because of the ways she speaks to me and them. She once told my DD that I was lazy because I had paid someone do some ironing for a few weeks, I had just come out of hospital after a big op.

She does sound very horrible, but if DD was writing it I think it would have been very wrong for your DH to actually stop her and say "don't put mum's name" because then that makes very clear that things are full of animosity.

I realise in this situation that you have tried and reached the end of your tether but in this situation, for your kids your DH did the right thing.