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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

should i invite both children to ds's party?

20 replies

bedtimestory · 13/12/2008 17:11

My ds turns 2 in March and am planning to have a party for some of his friends at soft play centre. Want to invite cousin's little boy (same age) but wonder whether I should also invite his older brother (6). Was planning only to invite younger one as hoping to keep party fairly small and calm and think older one would be bored and at a bit at a loose end but I don't want to upset anyone. dh thinks it's fine and to be expected given the age gap but not so sure. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

MinkyBorage · 13/12/2008 17:13

always invite the sibling imo, but thell the parent you'll completely understand if he doesn't fancy it as it will be only 2yos

MinkyBorage · 13/12/2008 17:13

*tell

TheFalconInThePearTree · 13/12/2008 17:14

I wouldn't invite him. Siblings don't have to do everything together and as you say he'll be bored if he's with a group of toddlers.

TheButterflyEffect · 13/12/2008 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

27 · 13/12/2008 17:25

I wouldnt invite the sibling. When my children are invited to parties or nursery or school classmates I wouldnt expect anyone to invite their siblings too.

Original poster

bedtimestory · 13/12/2008 17:29

He's pretty good although tbh I very rarely see him as we live an hour and a half's drive away. REally don't think he'd mind it's just that he is family and feels odd inviting one and not the other...

OP posts:

27 · 13/12/2008 17:30

I think I would invite him if he is family.

piscesmoon · 13/12/2008 17:32

Don't invite him, but tell him that you know as a big boy he would be very bored.

bonnycat · 13/12/2008 19:41

I think i would invite him as he is family but explain it will all be toddlers and leave it up to them.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/12/2008 19:57

at 3yr party a few months ago,i only invited the child,as most had older siblings and didnt want an extra 12 children there

generally i would say no to siblings

but as they are a long drive away, then invite but say it will be 2/3yrs

least at a play centre he can go off

FrannyandZooey · 13/12/2008 20:00

how will it be calm at soft play centre? won't his mother just be able to pay for him to have a play anyway if she wants?

Fillyjonk · 13/12/2008 20:01

invite both, let the parents decide

its a kids party and he is family.

I think a 6 yo would find plenty to do at a soft play place!

would never not invite a sibling, aside from anything else, at this age parents often stay and it could be a real PITA for them (not such an issue if older)

asicsgirl · 13/12/2008 20:01

lol at butterflyeffect

ChippyMyrrhton · 13/12/2008 20:02

You expect your cousin to drive an hour and a half each way with only one of her children? Invite both or none.

Fillyjonk · 13/12/2008 20:04

am also boggling a little at idea of calm kids party at soft play centre

tbh we send out the invites and see who turns up, we invite families not individual kids. would not want anyone to feel uninvited to a party.

alicet · 13/12/2008 21:33

I would just invite the 2 year old. Agree that there is no reason for both children to go to all parties together.

However if his mum calls and asks if he can come too I would say yes.

DoubleBluff · 13/12/2008 21:35

as they are family i would invite both, esp as a long drive to get there.

mumto2andnomore · 13/12/2008 21:38

Invite both, if they have to drive as far as that they might want to go somewhere else after and make a day of it, its a long way to travel just for a couple of hours at a party.

piscesmoon · 13/12/2008 21:54

Sorry I assumed that you were just going to take your nephew-if his parents are going too then you have to have the family.
I don't think you can keep it calm!-in fact an older DC might help to keep it calm.

zipzap · 13/12/2008 23:04

As he is family, could you give him a 'special' invitation as he is a big boy - could you find a helper sort of role for him? Might be quite handy to have somebody who is happy to be running around on the inside of the soft play area keeping an eye out for your crowd of little ones! And it gives him something to do if he wants it, if not it gives him a reason to run around in the soft play.

Helps you two ways - firstly he is included for family sake, but he is not going to feel like he is at the toddler party but at the same time he is not left out.

And if anyone else is angling for elder siblings to be brought along, it doesn't set a precedent as the cousin will be there in the role of 'nice helpful big cousin' rather than just a big brother that you are paying for but not for others IYSWIM.

Hopefully that would give you and your cousin the best of both worlds - she doesn't have to find alternative child care for eldest cousin, he gets to feel a bit special for his role in the party etc etc.

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