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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is this excessive?

45 replies

TheFalconInThePearTree · 11/12/2008 22:16

I'm at college and as it's Christmas we were discussing gifts for our lecturers today. There are two in particular whom we see more of than the others and who are very helpful and highly regarded.

The other students have decided that we'll each put in £10 each(there are 16 of us) and divide it between the two.

Now that seems a little excessive to me, to spend £80 per lecturer. A few pounds each would suffice surely?

Plus such a lavish gift could be seen as a bribe and I know it'd make me uncomfortable to receive such an expensive gift from students.

I think a small token gift would be most appropriate.

AIBU?

OP posts:
roundcornvirgin · 11/12/2008 22:18

Gifts for lecturers? Blimey!
Yes it is excessive - aren't students meant to be poor?

Twims · 11/12/2008 22:18

I would think a fiver each would be more than sufficient

thisisyesterday · 11/12/2008 22:19

i agree, that does seem excessive.

i would rather opt out and just get a little token gift for each lecturer myself

prettybutterfly · 11/12/2008 22:19

Yanbu. That's way too much. I bet loads of you can't afford it but will feel bullied into joining in.

I only spend a tenner on some of my RELLIES!

singingtree · 11/12/2008 22:19

Ridiculous. Honestly, I shouldn't think they'll expect a present at all, a card would be fine imo

mazzystartled · 11/12/2008 22:21

sorry - what???

it is completely and utterly unnecessary to buy your lecturers anything

maybe, just maybe, you might buy a gift for your phd tutor when you graduate, but not students in cvllege

just say no

RobynLou · 11/12/2008 22:23

i'm only spending £10 on each relative this year - thats crazy!

DandyLioness · 11/12/2008 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ThingOne · 11/12/2008 22:26

Outrageous. £2-3 each per lecturer would be more appropriate I think. Nobody else got children?

cheshirekitty · 11/12/2008 22:27

Crazy. £5 for the two of them should be enough.

muggglewump · 11/12/2008 22:28

That's mad. I'd get wine and chocs at the most, say no more than £15 split between you.

Santaisfeelingfunnypeculiar · 11/12/2008 22:28

Blimey! Never bought a lecturer a Christmas present , & as far as I'm aware my dad (uni lecturer) has only ever had presents from postgrad students (& even then only occasionally) Defn a bit odd imho

Original poster
TheFalconInThePearTree · 11/12/2008 22:29

I'm glad most seem to agree. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable and really much as I like them, we're students and money is tight for most of us.

A card signed from all of us with a little message would be more appropriate than spending that kind of money on them, or perhaps wine and that's about all that's necessary.

I'll have a talk with my fellow students when I return.

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 11/12/2008 22:31

yeah, a card and a bottle of wine between all of you is probably more than they would expect!

SpirobranchusGiganteus · 11/12/2008 22:43

It always amazes me that students give gifts to lecturers at all £80 way over the top. Bottle of wine -- or better still nowt.

thumbElf · 11/12/2008 22:45

much too much, really. I considered myself lucky if I got a couple of bars of G&B chocolate at Crimbo (~£3.50)

Greedygirl · 11/12/2008 22:46

YANBU and I think the lecturers would be flabbergasted (in the nicest possible way)and a bit uncomfortable, our college has a policy re recieving gifts from students. I agree that a card (and a bottle of wine if your fellow students want to push the boat out) is perfect.

dingdongmerrilyonpie · 11/12/2008 23:01

YANBU - buy them a drink at the pub and that's plenty.

27 · 11/12/2008 23:08

I think that is far too much money, I think that might make them feel quite uncomfortable.

colacubes · 11/12/2008 23:11

Er no, crazy, who buys their lecturer gifts anyway, invite them for a drink in the bar, buy them a drink, thats enough.

MerryMadMarg · 12/12/2008 09:28

I've never heard of lecturers being given a present! If you were postgrad or something, that would be different. I know I would have felt incredibly uncomfortable about receiving an expensive present like that just for my normal work.

The only time I received a present was for tutoring a group of students (not from where I was teaching at the time) before an exam, and they bought me a small present on top of the tutoring fee.

NorbertDentressAngel · 12/12/2008 09:35

In my day (OMG how old do I sound?!) students were poor.

I don't recall anyone buying or contributing towards a gift for the lecturers. Maybe a drink in the bar as a group but that was it IIRC.

cory · 12/12/2008 09:37

I was overwhelmed when my students bought me a bunch of flowers at the end of the year, last year. Absolutely more than I expected. Honestly- we do get paid!

kitbit · 12/12/2008 09:41

I think it would make them very uncomfortable. Take them for a drink, or if you all really want to put money in, go to an inexpensive cafe or restaurant for a Xmas party. But not a gift, it's not really appropriate, sadly.

ScottishMummy · 12/12/2008 09:51

such an extravagant amount seems really crawly bum lick.wont result in higher marks either

when i was at uni the lecturers got us a couple of pints in

we got them SFA

oh a card and token item if you must eg a cup, chocolate or summat

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