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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked how much beoing in hospital is??

75 replies

lisad123 · 11/12/2008 10:11

DD2 has come home after we spent 5 days there because she had pneumonia. I am shocked how bad the bank has become over those 5 days.
They dont feed parents and I didnt want to leave her side, so lived out of the vending machines for first 3 days,and then sent sister on mircowave meals run, carpark for 5 days as i had taken dd in my car. cost of dh carpark when he visited, cost of extra's like toothpase and other washables i needed when admitted as dh didnt go home first of all. I know hospitals cant pay for fod ect, but surely they could more (like a less money grabbing shop) to help people in this situation?? AIBU??

OP posts:
ClausImWorthIt · 11/12/2008 10:55

"I didnt like to put on the nurses by asking them to watch her when if i needed to grab a tea let alone a meal in canteen, especially as her alarms kept going off."

lisa - surely this is the nurses' job?!

I think YAB a bit U - you could have had DH take the car home, and there was at least some food to hand for you. After the first day you could have brought in/got your DH to bring you in some food as well as the necessary toiletries.

The NHS isn't there to look after patients' families. The money is stretched enough as it is.

ClausImWorthIt · 11/12/2008 10:56

Sorry, lisa - forgot to say sorry your DD has been so ill though. Hope all is better now.

ClausImWorthIt · 11/12/2008 10:57

Very interesting article in today's Guardian (G2) about a hospital trust in Cornwall that serves fabulous food - all supplied by local growers.

An interesting model for all hospitals I think.

MrsHappy · 11/12/2008 10:58

The quality of food served to patients is a big problem. If you have a child on a (medically mandated) special diet it is even worse, because they won't cater for that at all. One woman was feeding her school age son jars of baby food because he was on a no gluten/ soya/ dairy/seafood (and quite possibly other exclusions) diet and the hospital did not provide suitable food. At least I could give my DD breakfast cereal, baked beans, steer clear of the mystery meat and supplement her diet by going to local shops or Carluccios.

I didn't complain because by the time you get out of there (and having seen some of those kids who will never really get better) you are just glad to leave with a healthy child.

MrsTittleMouse · 11/12/2008 11:00

We had to spend £10 on parking when I gave birth - which is crazy! It's not right to use a ambulance (fair enough), there are no buses running at 5am (not that I would have been happy waiting at a bus stop anyway!) and lots of taxis don't want to take pregnant women. So how are you supposed to get there except by car? And then they charge a fortune! It would have been even worse if the labour had gone on longer - I mean, some women are in labour for days.

At least at the last hospital where I delivered, they had a special "labouring women" car parking rate, which was a reduced flat rate, no matter how long it took. But then you had to go to a special car park and find the attendent and jump through hoops - taking ages and leaving the labouring woman on her own - and hoping that the labour doesn't go too fast and you miss it!

Cies · 11/12/2008 11:00

All of you saying that hospitals have good public transport links obviously live in cities. My parents live in a rural area, and have to drive half an hour to get to the hospital. If they took public transport, it would involve a two mile walk, a half an hour bus, change to another bus, then another half an hour. hmmm, I wonder what they're going to do...

To be fair though, there is a weekly parking ticket scheme, which you can transfer between cars, so that parents and family can come and go. I think it only costs 15 pounds for the week.

MrsHappy · 11/12/2008 11:01

Lisa - "I didnt like to put on the nurses by asking them to watch her when if i needed to grab a tea let alone a meal in canteen, especially as her alarms kept going off."

This is exactly the problem that many parents have. The nurses are so stretched that if you leave your child it is quite possible that noone will really check on him/her for a few hours. If your child is young, obviously you don't want them to be left alone with alarms going off, a dirty nappy or whatever.

Claus - you say that the NHS isn't there to look after patient's families. This is true, but when I was in the hospital with DD it became clear that resources were so stretched that they need the parents to be in there to provide care. The nurses' time is taken up with delivering drugs, filling forms, doing obs and the like.

needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 11:01

dd got out yesterday after 5 days and it is crap. We parked on city streets as I have a blue badge and the hozzie only has 3 disabled bays and wont let you use your badge in the others. There's no wheelchair accessible buses to the hospital before anyone starts banging on. DH lived on ready meals. dd's food was ok this time, all they did wrong was overdose her and make her ill.
We did have to complain about the parents toilet/shower as it was filthy with a pile of vomit in it. For 12 hours. sigh.

DaisyMooSteiner · 11/12/2008 11:01

Rubberduck - NCP does run our hospital carpark - they're the ones who charge ££££ an hour!!

Tee2072 · 11/12/2008 11:02

I'm sorry, as an American Expat living here, I think YABU. You want to talk about bankrupt, imagine how much it would have cost you if you had to pay for the actual hospital stay. Not just parking and food. I am talking thousands of dollars, if not sometimes hundreds of thousand of dollars.

For example, my sister's twins cost her about $250,000.00 to have. She'll be paying the hospital for this for pretty much the rest of her life. I think she'd be glad if it had only cost her parking and some food.

Try to keep things in perspective, people.

MrsTittleMouse · 11/12/2008 11:02

Regarding food - the only time that I was in hospital for any length of time I would order vegetarian food, but it never arrived. They would do things like give me a beef salad and take the beef off the plate. I'm not sure how you're supposed to recover from surgery when being effectively malnourished.

cat64 · 11/12/2008 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 11:06

we're not in the US Tee (and I have lived there) We do pay taxes for the hospital.
Why did your sis not have insurance?

RubberDuck · 11/12/2008 11:11

Daisy - then it's shocking that they're allowed to put up the prices that much when they manage in city centres at lower prices And also shocking that they can manage to create a useable carpark in a town and yet have such a shoddy excuse for a carpark at a hospital.

Tee2072 · 11/12/2008 11:15

needmorecoffee her insurance only covered about 10% of the costs. That was her cost after insurance.

And not everyone in the US has insurance.

I understand that we're not in the US. But I really do think people are BU!

scaryteacher · 11/12/2008 11:15

So, my husband has paid in tax over 10 years what your sister's twins cost Tee, and as a serviceman, his care is non NHS provided. It costs us in tax, rather than up front.

As to getting to hospital on public transport - we only have two buses (the same one, out and return) a day to our village in Cornwall; I'd have been stuffed when I was in labour, as that was before the bus service was introduced. If I moved back to UK now, the situation hasn't changed....it would take me 45mins - 1 hour if lucky to get to the hospital in the car....probably about 5 hrs on public transport, and that's supposing all the connections worked.

I had ds in 1995 and spent a fortune on food, as I was stuck in transitional care for 10 days after he was born. I don't think things have improved in the interim sadly.

laweaselmys · 11/12/2008 11:17

Cies - this is why I refuse to get the bus to hospital. Unless I go into labour between 6am and 6pm there won't be any buses, and even if I did it would take a minimum of two hours to get into the city including having to change buses and waiting times etc. I can't say I fancy going through that whilst in labour.

Hopefully I will go into labour overnight or at the weekend and we will be able to arrange for a friend/relative to drop us off at the hospital.

needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 11:20

I do appreciate what your saying Tee, having lived in the US. Never again till they have free health care. But we're not in the US. Its not really relevant to this discussion. Someone in Africa could point out that at least we have health care.
Having a child in hospital costs a fair bit of money, especially if its long stay and frequent. dd is in and out and will be till she passes away. And the wheelchair accessibility was pants too.

DaphneMoon · 11/12/2008 11:20

I can remember standing at the door of the hospital holding on to the wall whilst another contraction waved over me as my Ex H paid for the fecking parking space!

mrsruffallo · 11/12/2008 11:21

The hospitals are to provide healthcare for patients- if you insist on leaving your car in the car park for 5 days then yes, it will cost you money.
Honestly food toothpaste etc is your responsibility

needmorecoffee · 11/12/2008 11:26

'inists on leaving your car'? How else does one get there?

mrsruffallo · 11/12/2008 11:28

Her DH could have driven the car home

mrsruffallo · 11/12/2008 11:29

Anyway, lisa, I don't want to seem like I am having a go at you- I am not! I hope dd is doing well now

laweaselmys · 11/12/2008 11:29

If there are two of you - I suppose one can drop everybody off in the car, then find somewhere else to park/make do with public transport to visit over the rest of the week. Similarly the other non-live in adult, can nip to the supermarket to get toiletries/decent food etc

It is hard. But if you have two adults involved and capable of driving, I think there were certainly ways of getting around paying quite so much. So OP is being a bit U.

I can think of plenty of situations where it would not be that simple though.

WilyWombat · 11/12/2008 11:35

It cost us a fortune when DS was in hospital (I swear we spent so much we should have shares in Costa) In the end I started popping into a supermarket on the way there and taking food with me but it WAS a stress I could have done without.

I was happy to buy food for us (its only their place to feed the patient) but the prices in the hospital - plus the fact it was all crisps/biscuits/cakes "junk" was ridiculous.

Our hospital HAD to start charging because people who worked locally were using the car park so it was constantly full. We spoke to the hospital helpdesk and got a pass so we didnt have to pay.