To not wish for a Midwife Care Assistant to grab my baby from me in my own home and proceed to push my baby's head into my breast to demonstrate 'her' breastfeeding ideal?

[Jenski]

Not only that she had to carry out the heel prick test twice, and on the second occasion decided to hang my dd3 over her legs on her tummy (she still has cord clip attached!) She then decides to scare me by telling me that baby has lost 10 percent of weight and will be measured again in 2 days because she is concerned. My milk has only just come through...!

When she left, I just wanted to cry. I have been feeling great up to this point.

I now just wish to get on with it, without any more interference. Do I have to accept more visits?

Oh Jensk, this is commonly recognised as being crap practice. Women shouldn't be touched without explicit warning/permission.

Are you a first time mother?
Are you confident about your b/feeding?
MWs and assistants don't always know much about breastfeeding anyway.
If you feel you need support or help, a breastfeeding counsellor is the best person to talke to.Do you want a link to numbers and organisations?

So much for the hands off policy!

I'm sure you'll get some useful responses but I had to say that, I'm rather shocked, I think I'd have hit her!

This is my third baby. No, I don't feel I have a problem with breastfeeding. I was not asking for her advice. As I sat down to feed, MW ass looked on and uninvitedly grabbed my babies head rather too firmly IMO and told me her head should be straighter.

She said that I was probably remembering how to feed an older baby (basically saying I was doing it wrong and infering that was why she had lost almost 10 percent of weight). DD3 only 5 days old. She is a beautiful, bright eyed and alert baby. My milk is just coming through properly and she enjoys feeding

Oh excellent

Tell her to feck off then!

Phone up and ask for a different mid-wife. If you are not feeling up to it ask your mum/partner/good friend to.

Hated all the boob touching that went on. Completely unnecessary and counterproductive.

Thank you.

I thought I was being over-sensitive and emotional. I will phone up and cancel appt on Friday completely. I will re-arrange for next week and ask for it to be someone else.

Are midwifery auxilliaries...or whatever they are actually allowed to do a heel prick test and homevisits alone?
Might be worth enquiring about....

she was wrong anyway! Do say something if you feel strong enough, if you don't than don't take any notice of her, because you know she doesn't know what she is talking about!
Sorry for your experience, but congrats on the Birth of your Baby

I had that hapen to me in hospital - 3rd baby, have bf now for a total of 2 and a half years approx (my 3rd baby is 4 months now) and in hospital sm did wh you said, trying to "help", and another mw said I shldn't b/feed lying down as the milk wldn't drain properly.I'd just had a caesarian.
Tbh you probably know more about breastfeeding than the mw who probably didn't bf her own baby anyway.

Don't let her over the threshold.

Am shocked at milk draining comment.
Bloody hell!!

you know, am doing all this bst practice and reflective practice thing right now and learning about profssional development and stuff , not midwifery, but all health professionals are meant to do it....but honest I wonder how midwifes are allowed to practice and give actively advice about things hey don't seem to know anything about....it's bad practice....
obviously doesn't quite apply to op as health care assistent aren't trained that way...

what you put in your title happened to me too. i wasn't bothered about them touching me but i was bothered about them scaring my day old baby half to death so he then refused to feed. yeah so much for helping ... all you did was get him on bottles thanks a bunch!

I was a midwifes assistant on a post-natal ward and I saw some shockingly bad practice. We had 2 days of training on bf, and tbh I think the actual midwives go on the same courses. I must admit I never got a baby to feed because I was a bit crap lol (until I rfeturned after mat leave after bf ds) but I did stick to the nose to nipple hands off blah de blah.

Most midwives are great and experienced at getting babies to latch on. Some though are shite, grabbing babies heads and shoving it into the boob.Even bf counsellors are a bit half-hearted, ds hadn't fed for ages, she advised me to give him a bottle, even though I know for a fact they are supposed to advise expressing colostrum and giving by syringe .

I would make a complaint, I did sometimes have to show how to latch etc by touching but I always got permission and was gentle.

obviosly social politics don't help neither,,,,sigh

No, YANBU in the least, this is considered bad practice not only by NCT, ABM and LLL but by the Royal College of Midwives as well. that you and dd were grabbed without permission, imo that is even worse.

You don't have to accept more visits.

Even if you do have more visits, you don't have to accept being treated like that.

I know it's hard but you need to say something to her. "Please don't do that, it makes me feel uncomfortable". "Please don't make comments like that, I find them undermining". "Thank you, but if I have any concerns about my baby I will see the GP". Speak as confidently and as calmly as you can; take charge of the situation.

Tell her to feck off, try not to worry too much about the weight. DS2 lost 15% of his weight at birth so the MW wasn't allowed to discharge me but he put it back on quickly enough.

Also, Congratulations

thankyou so much for your helpful comments. Feeling much better today.

I am going to make an informal complaint and ask that she does not see me again.

I forgot also to add that during her visit (in my bedroom) she took a personal call, talking extremely loudly to her husband on her mobile.

And before heel prick test , she didn't even feel her feet to see if they were warm, just rushed straight in. I am soo annoyed with myself for not speaking out at the time!

Oh this was a constant for me in DS's first 6 weeks when he failed to put on his birthweight after jaundice. This time last year was a constant round of midwives and bf 'experts' shoving my boy this way and that pulling and prodding at my tits all the time. I feel for you, it is hell. YANBU. FWIW, DS and I only thrived when I ignored said healthcare 'experts' and gave the wee man formula once a day. My bf started to work better then too.

It is perfecly normal for a baby to loose 10% Of their body weight in the fist week or so.

Jenski - it sounds like you are far better informed and more experienced then this woman who visited you - is she really an assistant? Is she allowed to do the heel prick?

Congratulations btw. I've just had my third child,(8 weeks old) and he lost 10% of his birth weight when he was born, but my midwife is great and told me that is normal for a bf baby. He's putting weight on fine now.

Poor you, but it's nigh on impossible to say the right thing at times like those isn't it?

You are hormonal and tired afetr a birth, living in la la land anyway and someone comes and assuts out of the blue!

AFTERWARDS we can all think of what we should have said done but at the time it's almost like you are watching a scene out of somebody else's life!!

Hope things improve for you

Normal to lose 10% of birthweight in the first week of life.

Sometimes heel pricks can be difficult, but you get what you pay for. I personally would want a qualified midwife to do heel prick, not an assistant. When I worked as a midwife, it had to be qualified or student midwife (but was qualified nurse) who did the heel pricks. Health care assistants were not allowed to.

Also, is midwives assistant doing your postnatal checks? Is she qualified to do fundal height etc? Find this a bit scarey.

I had my boob grabbed by a nurse in hospital - it was quite a bizarre experience - I'd just had an emergency CS after a 36hr labour, DH had decided he was going to go home as he was 'tired' and while they were looking for a porter I was left lying in a side ward on my own, the buzzer had been looped over the top of the bed so I couldn't reach it (couldn't physically move!) and DD started crying.

I realised I couldn't reach the buzzer, couldn't move to either pick up DD or get the buzzer, started calling out in a very english way 'erm... hello? Hello?'

A nurse walked past (no idea who she was, never saw her ever again), stuck her head in, asked if I was okay, I explained that I couldn't move and my baby was crying, she picked up DD and gave her to me, then suggested that even though my milk wasn't in yet, she would be comforted by nursing.

I put her to my breast, the nurse asked was it my first, when I said yes she literally reached over, grabbed my boob and pinched it up around the nipple, saying (in a broad yorkshire accent) 'baby can't eat football, love!' and then got her latched on.

Then disappeared. It was so surreal I'm still not sure it actually happened, but all the midwives (when I finally did make it down to the maternity ward) were very impressed that I knew how to get DD to latch on... I was so out of it that I didn't realise they weren't supposed to touch you - but I'm quite glad she did

Your midwife assistant whatever sounds awful, though. Can you complain to anyone?

Are they not supposed to touch you?! my god i wish I'd known that when I had DS, I was kept in as he wasn't feeding and it seemed like everyone in that ward grabbed my boobs at some point.

They said they wouldn't let me out until he had fed for 15 minutes preferably 15 minutes from both sides. Eventually someone who actually had breastfed herself saw me and discharged me straight away

He never fed for more than 10 minutes, ever. and there was never anything wrong with my latch.