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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want dogs round my dd?

43 replies

victoriaplum08 · 10/12/2008 16:26

After reading a recent thread about dogs and children, I thought I would ask about a situation that happened recently. My dd is coming up to 1 and she isnt hugely fond of dogs. We went to visit a friend who had just given birth to her dd. They have 3 dogs, one huge one, one little one, both of whom are quite placid and a very boisterous staffie. I wouldnt usually go round because of the dogs, however she had mentioned they were gated off from the baby. When we were there however, she decided to let the staffie out to 'play' with my dd! She kept hold of its collar but it was lunging at her and trying to lick her feet and face whilst getting excited and barking. My dd got a bit scared (obviously) and I think my friend could tell I was v pissed off so put the dog back. Then she let the big dog roam about near my dd/ her babies moses basket. I cant help but feel she was trying to get her dogs used to kids by using my daughter. I didnt say anything as she had just had a baby and I didnt want to fall out with her but now I dread going round and make excuses. Also the house smells strongly of dogs and my dd gets covered in hairs. Am I just being precious? I dont mind small friendly well trained dogs that I trust near her, but her dogs can be v boisterous.

OP posts:

Lotster · 15/12/2008 15:18

YANBU - although a staffy is a loving and devoted dog (in the right hands) but it has got bitgjaws and a lot of muscle, for it to be straining and lunging at you LO must have been very unnerving for you, yet you were obviously as calm and polite as you could be.

I don't go for silly hysteria around dogs - it aggravates me when I'm walking along the pavement with my little Border terrier on a short lead, yet some kids will start squealing and running away, despite the fact he is ignoring them... Parents who don't do anything about this or even encourage it should realise it's this behaviour that can make a dog run up and jump at them.

However, when someone is a guest in my house, I thnk it's my job to make them feel comfortable and if my dog going up to them or their children upsets them then I would remove him. I would always make a point of asking, so as not to put them in the position of having to say anything either.
Even a harmless dog can get their nose pinched or hair pulled by a LO not used to them, and instinctively mouth them away so it best to be careful.

georgimama · 15/12/2008 15:20

Why is your daughter scared of dogs? It's not a good thing and it's not to be encouraged, but cured. I would hazard a guess that it's because you don't like them and she is picking up the vibe that dogs are nasty, dangerous, dirty things.

How are you going to put your daughter in dog isolation for the rest of her life?

sasamax · 15/12/2008 15:28

I agree with thebrain.
Not everyone is that comfortable around dogs and you need to respect people's feelings when they are visiting you.
However, I feel you may be over-reacting just a wee bit

piscesmoon · 15/12/2008 15:29

georgimama, the DD is a baby-she isn't a year old yet! I would protect a baby from a dog-neither can understand each other.
When she gets older you need to introduce her to trusted dogs and make sure that she knows that she can't grab it like a plaything. I get horrified when I am out and about and toddlers walk straight up to strange dogs. I always made sure that mine gave the dog time and moved them if it didn't have a friendly reaction.Keeping dogs away from a baby isn't going to put her in dog isolation for life!

islandofsodor · 15/12/2008 15:30

YABU. I never put my dog away when a baby/child cma to visit. It's the fastest way to ensure a jealous dog.

I did make sure he was always under control and never left unsupervised though.

If you want your dd kept away from dogs, don;t go to visit people with dogs.

georgimama · 15/12/2008 15:32

If she's only a baby how is she "scared" of dogs? All babies are uncertain of new experiences, my son cried the first time my brother's dog bounded up to him but he wasn't "scared of dogs" just uncertain of the unfamiliar.

It's just the impression I get from OP that she is projecting her own feelings, her DD is being taught to be scared so she is.

piscesmoon · 15/12/2008 15:37

Not all babies are the same-some like new experiences some don't. (Prof Winston did interesting experiments and it was nothing to do with the parent). I am not scared of dogs, but I would be scared of letting a dog that I don't know next to a baby.The dog in OP wasn't under control-it was licking the baby's face!

wideratthehips · 15/12/2008 15:45

i always grew up with dogs and there were always three at any one time. they were always family type breeds: golden retriever, king charles spaniel, west highland terrrier, rough collie etc etc and were all nice dogs.........

BUT

sometimes they would absolutely go for each other and blood was drawn.

i don't have a feer of dogs but i have a worry that they are an unpredictable entity and i fel uncomfortable having them near my children

expatinscotland · 15/12/2008 15:48

YANBU.

I don't like dogs.

But I definitely don't want my kids around ill-behaved dogs who lick all over people or lunge at people.

piscesmoon · 15/12/2008 15:50

I think there is a problem when some dog owners think that it is OK to lick faces.

sasamax · 15/12/2008 15:53

I am a dog lover but don't think it's at all OK for them to lick babies' faces. I doubt many people do...

piscesmoon · 15/12/2008 16:01

If the OP friend's dog was well trained it wouldn't have been even trying to lick a face. I would surmise that it was used to doing it and hadn't been stopped.

Lotster · 15/12/2008 16:27

Exactly, some who have said well don't go round then, or get defensive on the dog's behalf, I think are missing the point of being a dog lover - if you are truly a dog lover then you protect them with training or exclusion from doing anything that may cause them to be mis-understood and taken off you, or worse.

Not to do so is laziness and unfair to the dog.

Drucilla - my dog does that chops-licking thing to my parents big German pointer when we go over there, goes on for ages... I know it's submissive and quite sweet therefore, but it turns my stomach!

As much as it may be a sign of acceptance or submission to a child too, it's so unhygienic - can transmit worms too, yuk.

piscesmoon · 15/12/2008 16:31

I don't have a problem with the dogs but I do have a problem with some owners!

OrmIrian · 15/12/2008 16:34

Well if you don't you don't. Personally I've never had a problem with dogs near my DC.But you need to make it clear to your friend just how strongly you feel.

TsarHumbug · 15/12/2008 16:37

YANBU...And dogs licking faces is beyond disgusting.

I think I'd just not visit again.

Tillyboo · 17/12/2008 16:09

I've just caught my Springer Pup eating poo from the garden. He must have done a 'stealth' poo and then decided to eat it. Ugh !!!!

I won't be letting him lick my dd's face

purpleduckUnderTheMistletoe · 17/12/2008 16:33

I put my dogs away for a short time when someone arrives, then generally let them out when they have calmed down.

TBH, I think the bigger dog "roaming around" would probably do your dd a world of good, and help her to get over her fear of dogs.

A bit of hair won't harm your dd.

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