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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think DH should show a little consideration - even if he sticks to his plans

10 replies

Lowfat · 10/12/2008 14:01

I really need your opinions as I am afraid my emotions are clouding mine, but I suspect I am BU.

My works do is next week and is out of town so I will need a cab there and back, it has been planned for a couple of months and I am still feeling guilty about going, leaving DH with DC's and spending money on taxis and drinks (even if I have coke)

DH announced yesterday that his works do has been left so late that it is Sat 20th at 5.30 (for meal) and even though it is an early start he will probably stay out late because evertone else will - so more time for him to drink

Just before Christmas we normally get together with a group of very good and old freinds, and this year it looks like being the 20th as well. When I mentioned this to DH he just said 'tough'. I was a bit taken aback at this as although the men all meet up weekly the wives maybe manage a child-free night out once a year. So I look forward to us all catching up and the DC's swapping gifts. DH has said it will have to be arranged for another night, despite me pointing out we have gone for the 20th because it is the only night he doesnt have to get up for work the next day.

I dont begrudge DH his works do, but I do feel he could have been a bit more understanding that all our friends and the rest of his family may still decide to meet up without him. I know one of the others DH's will be happy to walk me and the DC's home afterwards so why should we try and re-arrange for him.

Especially as all I have to look forward to is his late return and him mooching about with a hangover the next day.

My one point of discomfort is that there is a woman DH works with who I dont know and dont entirley trust. Although DH's other colleagues are going and will make sure he behaves, I have seen the texts between, them and worry that drink + flirting = disaster.

OP posts:
BONKERZ · 10/12/2008 14:04

carry on with your plans, he is going out so should you.

alicet · 10/12/2008 14:05

Seems there are 2 separate issues here.

Are you honestly sure you didn't arrange the family / friends get together on the same day as dh's work do, dressing it up as him not needing to get up for work the next day, because you are worried about this other woman?

YANBU to be anxious about him and her and drink but if you are concerned this needs to be addressed separately to the family / friends get together.

I am sorry but I think YAB a tiny bit U about expecting him to just drop a previous plan to go to the fmily and friends thing regardless of whether you are going to a Christmas do or not.

Lowfat · 10/12/2008 14:13

Alicet - DH announced the work do for the first time yesterday. We have been talking about the the get together since last week.

Both very last minute I concede, but all genuine.

When I talk to DH about this woman - and he knows I am wary of her - he insist she is one of the lads (he works in a very male dominated industry).

"Swears, smokes roll-ups and is married with two teenage boys"

OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 10/12/2008 14:24

'swears and smokes roll-ups' sounds classy! - i wouldn't worry over much about her if i were you

as to the friends get-together, go, have a lovely time, tell him he was missed, but not so much that it would hve been worth everyone changing their plans just to accommodate him

alicet · 10/12/2008 14:26

Fair enough. If friends get together was arranged first i think your dh is unreasonable to go to that when you had plans already. I don't think it makes any difference whether you have a work noght out or not.

I would do what jesuswhatnext says though if you think he will not budge on this (and from your op it doesn't sound likely)

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 10/12/2008 14:28

oi - what you saying about us birds that smoke roll-ups and swear .

OP - I do think YAB a little U,

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 10/12/2008 14:30

Oy I swear and smoke roll ups, and I'm classy as fook.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 10/12/2008 14:30

haha Devil - I got there before you

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 10/12/2008 14:30

lol at the x post there FAQ.

jesuswhatnext · 10/12/2008 14:34

well, i know YOU two are classy, but i bet the old bint flirting with the ops dh is a right common old mong bag

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