Well am I?

[LedodgyChristmasjumper]

I usually pick up my best friend's dd up on a Tuesday and Wednesday from shool and have her for a couple of hours until her mum gets back from work. I love them both dearly and don't usually mind doing this as it saves her money on afterschool club. However this week I know her dp is off work to paint the hall. She hadn't said anything re the pick up etc so after a nightmare night with ds1 barking like a seal and ds2 (baby) with a high temp I rang her asking her if am I right in assuming that her dp is picking up her dd but she said she wanted me to carry on a usual so her dp can get on with the painting. I said I was sorry but I was exhausted had a bad night, kids ill, don't want to pass anything on etc. I said that I don't mind doing it when they are both at work but really feel too tired to do it this evening when I knew her dp was at home. She was ok about it but a bit sulky (I've known her for 20 years so can tell) now i'm feeling guilty like i've let her down. It has also got harder lately anyay as now ds1 is 3 he misses his sister during the day and when both girls are here he gets left out cue sreaming which I could do without today. I am being unreasonable not collecting her and having her today?

She ought to have told you beforehand that her dp was at home. She didn't. That's unreasonable.

She hasn't said she is in a moody with you, you say you can tell she is. It's not really fair to project a mood onto somebody like that because you feel guilty. Forget it, behave normally next time you see each other; it will blow over.

I don't mean to be patronising but I recognise something I do in persuading myself someone else feels a certain way - maybe they do, but until they tell you it's none of your business how they feel!

YANBU. You sound like a great friend.

It sounds like your friend could be taking you for granted a little seeing as you think she's in a sulk with you over this. Perhaps you should take a few weeks of collecting her DD and she'll really start to appreciate what you do for her!

Thanks everyone. She's my best friend and she's fab. She's just rang me from work to ask how the children are. She was probably just a bit off with me this morning because it was early and her plans had to change. I do know when she is in a mood though as I said I have known her for 20 years we are best friends and have been through loads together we piss each other off now and then but she is like family and I love her.