to think that DH and I should actually just waste money on buying my brother a present?

[TheQueenSpeach]

My brother is hard work. Most people will acknowledge that. He has issues. But he also has a bike. It's a project he's worked on for a few years now and he enjoys cycling.

Brother has now announced what he wants for Christmas and it is very specific:

• A 700cc racer wheel rim
• A hub for a single speed free wheel cog on one side and fixed cog on the other
• 36 spokes
• Nipples

Don't snurk at the last one please.

He doesn't want anything else. Just that.

Now. Last year, DH went to not inconsiderable lengths to get one particular item of kit for brother's bike. It was the fixed cog. The bike shop advised against it. DH advised against it. Bike Shop man travelled 20+ miles to get the particular part.

Clearly brother has never fitted it to his bike cos now he needs the hub to go with it.

DH says that this request is mad for some technical reason which sounds very plausible to me. But he won't phone brother to find out what on earth he's talking about. I do not understand bikes and cannot be arsed to be expected to liase between DH and brother.

DH has now had a strop and said he's not getting any of this for brother as it's a "complete waste of bloody money."

I think we should get brother what he wants. DH has worked out that there's £100 of stuff there and we can't possibly spend all that, but we could get one item for say £30.

Would you spend money on a present you know will never be used?

Why not buy him a voucher for a website where he can get stuff he wants for his bike? Wiggle for example. Then he can waste his money buying all manner of useless tat but it won't have to irritate you by buying parts you don't think he needs.

If he acts disappointed that you haven't got the parts he asked for tell him you thought it was important that he chose precisely which bits he wanted as I am sure there are severla manufacturers etc and as you don't know much about bikes you didn't want to mess it up.

Know how you feel - dh is bike mad too!!

Depends. Did you ask him what he would like for xmas, or did he tell you what he would like?

I asked him what he wanted because there's no way on earth I'd just go and buy him something. I tried suggesting that I do that, at the start of the annual family ritual which is "What would you like for Christmas?" He was very nervous at this point and said "it will have to be practical". A week later he came back with his list.

Wiggle's a good idea. I'll have to check that he'll buy stuff online. I don't think he will.

Good bike shops tend to be little local places don't they? Wonder if I could get vouchers for somewhere real. I'm guessing brother will need to be able to pick and examine what it is he's buying.

I think alicet has a good idea on this one. I have an uncle with similar characteristics. He always used to provide detailed instructions on his present list (we are a family that do lists, so that's not a problem). If you got it wrong he asked for the receipt to exchange. Having said that he always offered to give you the receipt for the gift he gives too.

It seems to have waned though. Now we mostly give him something nice to eat. He continues to give us slightly weird things (but as I don't think he should feel the need to give us anything I don't have a problem with that).

I don't think it matters if the recipient of the present uses the present or not to be honest, so long as they are pleased to have it. I guess your BIL is still planning to use the bit you gave him last year in any case.

quite frankly I would just get it. if that's what he wants.
what he does with his present is up to him surely?

Hmm. yes, bloody lists of exact requests. Soooo boring.

For the last couple of years I've said to my brother I want "something small and frivolous. Something which serves no real purpose but is just either nice to look at or decadent to use. Doesn't need to be expensive. Just small".

This has worked. I've had a nice glass clock, and a lovely wooden fruit bowl from him.

You asked him what he wanted.
He told you.
Just get it.

Next year - don't ask - just buy socks

Well that's what I thought. DH is disagreeing. That's why I asked.

I'd much rather buy someone something they actually want than have to guess and get something random they give away ten minutes later.

Get him one of the things he's asked for. He sounds like someone who doesn't 'do' superfluous possessions, good on him. He knows what he wants.

TQS, doesn't matter how many times I read that I keep seeing "glass cock" instead of clock! lol

I can understand he might perfer local shop to online. But wiggle are cheaper than lots of local shops (here anyway) and it is very easy to return stuff - I think this is my dh's hobby more than the bloody cycling!!