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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have joked about the colour pink??

45 replies

swottybetty · 08/12/2008 13:21

i am still quite new to this parenting business. took dd to her a birthday party at the weekend - the first she'd ever been to. children aged between 6mo and six i reckon.

at end of food, mum of birthday girl brings out a plate of pink and lilac cup cakes for the kids. as everyone dives i say "ho ho - no, i think those pink cakes are just for the girls. the boy might be getting an apple later" half a dozen uncertain faces look at me, then big laugh and i'm patting my back at my oh so funny joke as the kids start stuffing faces. all except one little boy (ages 4 or 5) whose parents have jumped in to let him know its okay to have a cake. before telling me (in a not unfriendly, but def not friendly vooice) that pink is his favourite colour.

did i mess up? is that a huge parenting no no?? the joke was after all that the pink cakes were for everyone... not just the girls....

OP posts:

TheButterflyEffect · 08/12/2008 13:53

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Original poster

swottybetty · 08/12/2008 13:53

that you're not your, right? i may be tactless and devoid of logic, but i'd like to think i'm at least semi-literate

OP posts:

TheButterflyEffect · 08/12/2008 13:56

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ReinDIORdroppings · 08/12/2008 13:58

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Weeteeny · 08/12/2008 15:53

Yup, stupid thing to say.
My little lad would have been upset. In his head it would have been, either I eat a girl's cake (fate worse than death) or I don't eat cake at all as there are no "boy" cakes (cue tears). He is 3.5, maybe older kids would see the joke though.

PinkPoinsettias · 08/12/2008 16:02

ds's favourite colour is pink.... he loves it and i don't discourage it.

i hate all this pink for girls and blue for boys shite, it would have really annoyed me if i'd been there with ds and you'd made him feel he couldn't have a cake or that there was something wrong with him liking pink.

pamelat · 08/12/2008 19:48

You were only joking FGS. I would say something like that too, "oh they cant be for you they are pink", in a jokey stance against pink for girls, blue for boys. I would be being sarcastic.

I know sarcasm is meant to be the lowest form, but I find it funny (very).

Habbibu · 08/12/2008 19:52

swottybetty, Matthew Chapter 6 in the bible is quite big on secret Christianity. You were just being very theological.

RhinestoneReindeerHerder · 08/12/2008 19:55

In my family we never joked about food, far too serious a subject. My dad did try the odd 'spaghetti is worms' and 'I'm going to eat your pudding', but it all ended in tears.

Maybe the little boy felt the same way?

I've said some daft sarky things in front of other parents (in fact, recently at a church-run toddler group ). Nerves usually..

sticksantaupyourchimney · 08/12/2008 19:55

Swottybetty, come and be my friend. It will be such a relief for me not to be the most foot-in-mouth person in the room for once

devoutsceptic · 08/12/2008 20:02

hmm...well, it's not actually a terribly funny joke, is it? And I suspect the parents gave you a look because they know that this sort of thing could upset and confuse small kids send their previously happy three year old into a total hysterical state (as someone else pointed out). eg - 'that's a girls cake! I don't have a cake! Wah! Wah! Wah!' - which would actually piss me off.
The other day a friend said to my kid who were putting money one of those giant charity teddy bear models, 'Here you are, have some money each, adn first one back gets extra', and I thought 'aaaargh! no! this will lead to disaster' and of course the kid who got back second did indeed burst into tears and I probably did give her a look and I felt mildly hacked off that she said something so dim, as it's me who has to deal with one sobbing kid and one gloating one.

devoutsceptic · 08/12/2008 20:04

I think you might not have liked it much if your daughter was about to reach for something to eat or to jump into a toy car at playgroup, if a random adult told her, oh that's not for you, it's for boys.
I don't much care for teasing toddlers like hat , because in general, they hate it, and when they hate something, they tend to let you know about it.

mumeeee · 08/12/2008 22:59

You dd mess up a bit. Small children don't get those kinds of jokes.

pamelat · 09/12/2008 12:49

I still need to learn that children don't find sarcasm funny.

I once told a 2 or 3 year old little boy that his dog was sad because he wanted his biscuit and he cried and gave the biscuit to the dog, oooppps. It was meant to be "funny" (this was before I had any children, I probably shouldn't have been allowed any)

ReinDIORdroppings · 09/12/2008 14:05

Message withdrawn

pamelat · 09/12/2008 14:09

but that is funny.
Am learning that children take things literally.

TrinityRhino · 09/12/2008 14:12

well I would have laughed
afterr all the joke was that
the gender specific colour crap is just that crap
you were saying it tongue in cheek as a ridiculous thing to say weren't you??

the parents should have just laughed

charliegal · 09/12/2008 14:22

Sorry, I would have gone too.

However, no one will remember it by now.

Original poster

swottybetty · 09/12/2008 14:26

in all fairness, the parents were okay about it. tho' perhaps not massively enamoured by me. i think being there they realised my crass mistake was made in the spirit of trying to interact with the kids and have fun. i am such a doofus, but i swear i really am only ever making an effort.

trinity - exactly, my joke was that the colour thing is nonesense. my mistake, OTOH, was thinking that 4 and 5 year olds would get that. i have learnt. thank you MN for not slaying me too much.

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earthpixie · 09/12/2008 16:36

Swotty don't worry about it, it was such a small thing. We all make mistakes; I once guffawed in my FIL's face when he mentioned that he found watching golf on the telly 'really interesting'.

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