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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or just precious?

24 replies

claw3 · 04/12/2008 09:38

Had a copy of my ds nursery report, he is 4. Under general attitudes and progress it says:

..... is very determined and focused when involved in a self-chosen task. He will spend long perids of time with intense concentration although he does find it harder to be as motivated on an adult directed task.

Does this mean they expect him to work for long periods, intensely and be totally focused all day at everything he does?

He is 4 ffs or am i being precious?

Obviously i will be asking the nursery, but just wondered what your thoughts are?

OP posts:
chequersandroastedchestnuts · 04/12/2008 09:40

No idea about this kind of stuff as DD is only a baby but to me that sounds more like a work appraisal than a nursery report!

Don't think YABU.

NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor · 04/12/2008 09:41

They shouldn't do. I've just had DS's parent/teacher meeting and they told me he found it hard to focus on a particular activity so he didn't get as much out of them as other children, but that it was perfectly normal for his age, it was just something they note so they can see how he improves through out his time there.
Ask to speak to the teacher to go through it so they can set your mind at ease.

NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor · 04/12/2008 09:42

they shouldn't do was in response to
"Does this mean they expect him to work for long periods, intensely and be totally focused all day at everything he does?" btw

frogs · 04/12/2008 09:42

It's not a criticism of your ds, it's just an observation. I wouldn't read too much into it.

NotQuiteCockney · 04/12/2008 09:42

This is fine. A. it's a very positive report and B. it's totally normal.

They don't expect them to work for long periods. But the longer their concentration span, the happier the nursery is. From what I know, they like the kids being focussed, but won't push them to keep doing something if they're not enjoying it.

My DS2's nursery teacher said as much to me in our last 'meeting', and she's obviously very happy with him, he's doing very well.

pagwatch · 04/12/2008 09:44

You have completely lost me when you say that you are assuming some kind of criticism.

I think they are saying that he concentrates well and with focus.
But that he is just a bit more ..meh... when teacher chooses task. Which is an observation which is fine isn't it?

I think it is praise ( if you assume that concentrating and focus are good in a four year old }

stitch · 04/12/2008 09:45

its a lovely lovely observation.
i would be pleased to have thought on any of my dc reports

bran · 04/12/2008 09:46

Just ask them to translate it for you, you're reading it as though it's plain English when in fact it's a special report language where some terms don't mean quite what you expect them to. I doubt they expect him to be as focused as you fear. I expect that 'long periods of time' only means about 20 mins or so.

Original poster
claw3 · 04/12/2008 09:54

I have a teacher meeting today at 11 to discuss report.

Just the he finds it harder to be as motivated on an adult directed task, does this mean he has problems focusing on a adult directed task? Does this mean he wont do as he is told?

Or he is just not as focussed at doing an adult task, in which case are they expecting a bit too much?

OP posts:
pagwatch · 04/12/2008 09:59

You are really looking for a criticism here.

If I said to you
"I am a fantastic mother but if I have a late night I am a bit grumpy in the morning"
Would you think I was sayingthat I was a bad mother.

They have said he works really well. He finds it a bit harder when he doesn;t choose the task.
That is GOOD. Why are you spoiling for it to be a criticism?

You were not being precious. But by not listening to what everyone is telling you and looking for it to be a criticism you are fast becoming very precious

Original poster
claw3 · 04/12/2008 10:05

Bran - Long periods for him are about an hour. He often spends over an hour on one drawing. Or you know those wooden bases where you put the coloured pegs into, he spends hours creating patterns etc.

I should mention as well he has sensory processing disorder.

OP posts:
frogs · 04/12/2008 10:11

Honestly, it's not a criticism.

In plain English it means that if he decides he wants to play with the toy cars or the plasticine he can focus and concentrate on the task for long periods (which is great -- lots of kids this age will flit from task to task even when they're picking the activities themselves).

If an adult says to him, 'Claw's ds, can you sort these plastic monkeys out into red, yellow and blue' he can concentrate for a bit and then will drift off to do something else that he finds more interesting, or will need to be reminded to stay with it. Which is also fine.

Some nurseries are more into making the children do adult-directed activities than others -- assuming you're happy with the nursery, then there's really nothing to worry about. Truly. When you get a report telling you that he has trouble controlling his agressive impulses, or that he has difficulty focussing on any activity, or that he can't do a task without an adult to help him, or deliberately disrupts other children's activities, that's when you need to start paying attention.

PandaG · 04/12/2008 10:11

def not a criticism is exactly the type of thing I would write in a transition doc from preschool to school.

means what it says, concentrates well on something he has chosen himself - excellent

less focused on adult directed - very common, and very reasonable. please do not get upset about it

MadreInglese · 04/12/2008 10:13

A nursery report? At 4 years old??

The world has gone mad!

Original poster
claw3 · 04/12/2008 10:13

Pag - Im not looking for criticism. I just feel sometimes if a child behaviours in a certain way, the teachers expect the child to act that way constantly.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 04/12/2008 10:13

I wouldn't worry about it. reports have to dress up each childs very normal behaviour and that can always make it sound 'different'. Educationese i always a pain. And you know the teacher is trying to write 30 reports with variations on 'this child is 4 and isn't a problem'

constancereader · 04/12/2008 10:13

It is a positive comment
I would relax if I were you
I am a teacher btw

PandaG · 04/12/2008 10:14

exactly frogs. my only comment would be ghere will be a bit more adult direction in reception (probably - depend on gthe school and preschool,) so if they said he dosn't concentrate at all on adult directed I may try to help him with that a little - but at that age would expect 5 mins or so max as an adult directe activity

bran · 04/12/2008 10:14

But they haven't said that he should be more focussed on adult directed tasks, just that he finds it harder. Which you probably knew already. They haven't, for instance, said "X needs to learn to focus on doing what he's told", and even if they had it wouldn't necessarily be a criticism.

I don't think you're being precious, possibly just a bit more worried than the average parent.

Original poster
claw3 · 04/12/2008 10:14

behaves i mean!

OP posts:
ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 04/12/2008 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
claw3 · 04/12/2008 10:24

I suppose im just a worrier!

Im just worried that the fact that he CAN sit still for hours doing an activity, they have come to expect this from him.

OP posts:
mm22bys · 04/12/2008 10:54

You're being a bit precious, he is only four, alot of children are like this, fascinated at what they want to do, a little less interested in what other people think he should be interested in.

I actually think it's quite a positive "report"!

Original poster
claw3 · 05/12/2008 08:41

Spoke to the teacher and all has become very clear now. The adult directed tasks he is less motivated to do involve 'messy play'. Having sensory issues this would make total sense!

Thanks for the advice ladies.

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