... to want to host Christmas this year? (Advice from dog-owners please!)

[Anglepoise]

I have a relatively large and close family and we always make quite a big deal of Christmas (in a getting together and having a good time way, not a spending loads of cash way). My parents and my aunt and uncle leave next door to each other so generally we all go to one of their houses. This year, my cousins and brothers are all at their respective in-laws' for Christmas so there will be more or less only me and DH at my parents' for Christmas. It is also DD's first Christmas (she's my parents' first and currently only grandchild). I would love to host Christmas at our house - I've wanted to do this for years but until recently we've lived 200 miles away and I knew that my family wouldn't make the trek plus we didn't have room to put them up anyway. We now live about ten minutes away. DH and I planned to have Christmas here this year so that both grannies could be there for DD's first Christmas, but in fact my MIL has booked to go away anyway so that's not a factor any more.

A few days after DD was born, my mum and dad got a puppy (do any psychologists want to comment on that? ). My mum thinks it's going to be more or less impossible for them to come to our house for Christmas dinner because either they'll have to leave the dog at home, which they don't want to do for more than three hours (dog will be whatever age puppies usually leave their mums + about three months), which means a very hurried meal rather than a nice relaxed evening OR taking the dog home in a taxi, which she thinks is impossible. I think it just means phoning the taxi company to check - though there is a bit of a problem that the dog is currently car-sick; also our house isn't huge so she might be a bit bouncy and puppyish. AIButterlyU to expect them to leave their puppy for longer than three hours? Or should I just give in and go to mum and dad's for Christmas dinner (we could stay there, so no taxi issues - plus I'm bfing anyway).

She says we can host Christmas in a few years, but it literally will be a few years (next year all the cousins, brothers and spouses will be back, so it will be a big Christmas, plus I couldn't fit them in here anyway). DH and I are both in our 30s so planning more DC soonish (fingers crossed) so in two years I could well have both a toddler and a bump. Plus this is our first year as a family and I just want to have Christmas here! AIBU?

You are not BU but neither are they IMO!

Leaving a puppy for that long is asking a lot, any longer is too much. In fact really it shouldn't be longer for any dog but I know some dogs have to get used to it.

I understand your reasons for wanting to host at home though.

If they are only 10 minutes away could you not compromise? How about dog stays at home through a lateish afternoon meal then, once dd is starting to settle down and the plates have been cleared, one of you could go and get the dog. It could have a good walk on the way over and (hopefully) be worn out once they get to yours and you can all have a quiet-ish evening.

Cheers Should make it clear that DH and I both love dogs - in fact I much prefer dogs to babies, apart from my own Both my parents are retired, which means that the dog does get undivided attention (except when DD is visiting ) and isn't used to being left. I think post-dinner might be late for a walk (it's cold and dark up north!) but maybe a long mid-afternoon walk would tire it out, so it won't be too boisterous when it's at our house ... ?

Is the puppy crate trained? While I do think that is too long to leave a young puppy on its own (our dog is now just over a year and while we can leave him for longer its better all round if we don't.)

But if he's crate trained they could bring him to yours in the crate and then just take him out for a piddle every 3 hours or so or take him for a little walk to get the appetite going before lunch? At that age he should be able to spend that much time in and out of a crate! Compromise all round?

I have no idea what crate training means so I suspect not. She has (more or less) the run of their downstairs - actually, I think she's allowed upstairs too (all our other dogs were) but she just hasn't worked that out yet. Is it only every three hours that they need to go out for a pee?

I promise this isn't an AIBU by stealth (or at least I hope it isn't) but my mum does have a slight history of saying things are more difficult than they are (eg she maintained that it was logistically impossible for DH and I to have a barbecue at our wedding, which it clearly wasn't).

I think I probably need to call some taxi companies and see if they'll take a dog!

AP, that sounds like a good plan! (although I quite like an excuse for a walk late on, it gets me a breather from the family and the cold blows out the alcohol cobwebs). I am up North too so I know what you mean!

If you are BF-ing and not really drinking (have I understood that right?) then you could drive them home if taxi won't take them? Or were you planning to drink?

I am bfing and not really drinking but want to be able to have a glass or two without worrying whether I'm over the limit or not iyswim. Otherwise I guess I could drive them if a taxi won't take them - perhaps I should suggest that (and the afternoon walk) as a compromise. Or does Scooterman exist in the north?

Ha! Scooterman does exist in the north

there's a Manchester branch

I think, if what you really would like is xmas day in your own home, then go for it! Your parents can come and see you on boxing day.

bellabelly DH did suggest us inviting everyone else who will be at home this year and then just letting my parents decide whether to come or not (though I suspect my mum would love the chance of a Christmas without her MIL ).

TBH I think she isssss slightly making it sound more difficult than it can be.

Crate training means they have a crate (with a door) that they stay in when you go out, etc.

The basic rule is dogs can hold their bladders in hours what their age is in months plus one. For example if he's 6 months old he should be able to hold his bladder for 7 hours (at the most obviously).