To tell DS that he shouldn't go and see Santa?

[MrsSnape]

Every year one of the teachers at school dresses up as santa. A store room is turned into a grotto and for £1.50 your child can queue up for an hour to see Santa and receive a present.

We've just had the letter home saying that this will be on next week.

Now whenever we have been before, the kids that have gone have been nursery, reception, year 1 and year 2. Some year 3's have gone and very, very few year 4s. I've never seen any year 5's or 6's there unless they're helping the set-up or something.

However DS1 is still insisting on going. He doesn't care what anyone thinks of him (about anything, its all part of his "emo" image) and he knows full well that none of the other kids in his class/year will be going and if they see him, they'll laugh about it for weeks/months.

He doesn't believe in Santa, he simply wants to go because his younger brother will get a present and he won't

AIBU to tell him he can't go? he's 10 btw.

YABU, If he wants to go and his year are allowed to go then let him,

Hilarious, dont let him go - he will have the piss taken out of him terribly.If he is that adamant though say ok then if you wont listen to me, see for yourself!

is he bullied at school? Or do the children take the piss and he just sticks two fingers up at them because he doesn't care?

Because there is a difference IMO.

If he is actually a victim of bullying, ie if other children are picking on him and it's making his life difficult, that's one thing and you should do everything in your power to help him to not be a victim.

But if children tease him and he doesn't care then clearly he is an individual who doesn't conform and doesn't care, in which case you should let him do what he wants.

You can only be a victim of bullying if you allow yourself to be one (and sadly most don't have the strength of character not to), but your ds sounds as if he does have the strength of character and is perfectly comfortable with the person he is and can thus rise above the comments from others.

If he wants to go and isn't bothered I don't see a problem-it is nice to be an individual.

wannabe, its a bit of both really. Since he started karate his whole personality has changed and as a result, people don't tend to be that mean to him anymore. Like the time one kid said to him "You are SO gay!" and ds replied with something like "you think? and do you have a problem with gay people? how strange..."

Now he's still not Mr Popular and never will be but people are not actively mean to him anymore. He does get the odd comment ("emo", rabbit teeth etc) but he lets it wash over him. He is invited to play football "with the lads" but chooses to either sit by himself and write or play with the girls. He does occasionally get laughed at for playing with the girls but his attitude is "I'd rather be laughed at for playing with girls then kick a football around just to fit in".

So no, I don't think he is a real victim of bullying. He used to be, but not now.

Good for him MrsSnape. I should leave him to do whatever he wants to do with visiting Santa. When my brother was his age he liked to be thought of as odd-other DCs respect them in the end.

in which case I would let him do what he feels comfortable with.

I would perhaps point out to him that going to visit santa purely to get a present is a bit shallow and isn't really in the spirit of Christmas (esp as he no longer believes), but he sounds like the kind of person who, if you point out that others will be mean to him, will do it just so that he can use his new-found confidence to form some whitty response to their meanness?

Well he already has more christmas cards than me and DS2 put together not bad for someone who "everyone hates me because I'm sooooo different"

He really is using up all his teenager "the world hates me" emotions early though, I wonder what he'll be like at 14 lol

wannabe, I agree about the shallowness of going to get a present, especially when he never uses the presents they get from santas grottos.

And he does sometimes encourage a bit of piss-taking. When the kids laughed at his "spikey punk hair" he delibrately made it more spikey and messy the next day. Part of me thinks he enjoys the attention tbh.