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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my sil shoud see this as a problem

19 replies

pud1 · 01/12/2008 14:39

my neice is 7 years old and in age 11-12 clothes. my sil feeds her crap constantly and she has no control over her diet. yesterday i witnessed her having her supper of 6 crumpets. is this not a massive portion.

OP posts:
mrsmortenharket · 01/12/2008 14:46

6 crumpets does seem a little excessive - have you been able to have a quiet word? how would you feel if she said something like this to you? maybe your reaction to my second question may be able to give you some pointers as to how to deal with your issue? hth xx

claw3 · 01/12/2008 14:49

If she is 7 years old, your SIL has total control over her diet. Is your neice obese?

VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 14:49

Had she eaten much for the rest of the day?
I could easily eat 6 crumpets, as could my 8yo DD if she'd had a busy day and was ravenous.

Is she in larger clothes because she is a big girl, or because she is overweight?

girlandboy · 01/12/2008 14:51

I don't think I could eat 6 crumpets, and I know my 8 year old ds couldn't.

Perhaps could be seen as not a "balanced diet".

igivein · 01/12/2008 14:51

If your niece is as tall as an 11-12 year old it's not a problem, otherwise, I think you know the answer to your question.

claw3 · 01/12/2008 14:53

VS - Exactly, not knowing what the girl had for breakfast, lunch, dinner, who is to say whether 6 is excessive!

Also if the girl keeps very active, could account for her appetite.

VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 14:56

I just think DD is 8, she is in age 10 trousers from some shops because she is tall, but the waist never fits so she has to get adjustable waisted clothes.
Also, I know there have been times when we've been really busy, and skipped lunch or dinner and gobbled down a load of toast or something as supper instead.

A balanced diet is balanced over a week, not a day.

Original poster
pud1 · 01/12/2008 14:58

i would say that she is. she eats so much crap its untrue. tbh my sil seams do anything for a quiet life like giving her all the choc and crisps she wants and letting her son play for hours on his psp, ds wii or x box of which he has them all.

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 15:01

Have you discussed it with her?
Maybe she's struggling?

claw3 · 01/12/2008 15:03

Yep, my 15 year old can eat like a horse and not gain a pound. My 12 year old is not so lucky, both my ds eat the same diet, but 12 year old puts on weight. He is starting to look a bit tubby, but is overdue a growth spurt. He tends to grow outwards, then upwards.

I wouldnt appreciate someone sticking their oar in, unless he was verging on being obese. Thats kids for ya, each one is different!

Original poster
pud1 · 01/12/2008 15:04

her clothes are always too long. so it is not for the length that she has to get the bigger size.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 01/12/2008 15:06

By the sound of the OP's post, it is not just because the niece is due a growth spurt.

Poor little girl, but I don't think there is much you can do without offending her / SIL.

NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 15:33

Have you discussed it with her?

Original poster
pud1 · 01/12/2008 15:38

havent said a word. would not know how to start. she has had a problem with the a kid on the street calling her fat but i didnt have the courage to say anything then even though it was a good opening

OP posts:
NoPresentsInVictorianSqualor · 01/12/2008 15:41

What is your family diet like? Would it eb possible to say you were starting a new healthy eating regime and get ehr to join with you?

One thing that helped DD (she used to be on the tubby side) was changing portion expectation. She got bought a bratz dinner set from a friend for her b'day and it was a lot smaller than adult (already too large) dinner plates, how about you buy her a set? You'd be amazed at how much smaller the portions get on a smaller plate. (that was all that we had to do with DD btw, just cut portion size).

claw3 · 01/12/2008 15:55

Pud1 - Perhaps now your niece has started to be teased your SIL will realise there is a problem?

Original poster
pud1 · 01/12/2008 15:57

that plate idea is fab. will try that one

OP posts:
countingto10 · 01/12/2008 20:27

My niece is overweight - my mum has spelt it out to my sister. We are not an overweight family so we have not tiptoed around the subject. Other kids have been teasing her and tease her older brothers about her. On the health side, she gets out of breath very easily etc. My sister didn't think she had much of a problem and that there were other kids "bigger than her". My niece also whinges for food etc.

The thing that has got my sister seriously addressing the problem is her DH and niece's father has just had a heart attack at the age of 39 and has had to have surgery. She is now looking at the type of food that the family is eating and what exercise everyone is doing. To be fair to her, her 2 DSs are not overweight but all her DH's family are.

Is it your SIL via your brother or your husband IYSWIM ? If it is your brother, can you have a word with him.

chequersandroastedchestnuts · 01/12/2008 20:32

I could eat six crumpets right now, nom nom..

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