to report to social services my cousins partner long one

[pingping]

My cousin is in hospital on life support has been for over a week its very touch and go at the moment.

His partner who is not the nicest of people recently stabbed my cousin and beat him with a dog lead in front of there 8yr DS and 2yr old DS.
Well she has been leaving my Cousins son's with a woman who had her own children taken off her from SS. I have said I will look after the boys but not taken up on my offer They live in Herts as well so it's not like I can pop round and check up on them as I am in London.

AIBU to report this to SS it's a very stressful time for as all at the moment I was worried enough about her looking after the kids with out my cousin as she is a drunk but to find out this has made me even more worried about the boys.

Anyone?

Yanbu - you've done the right thing.

Hope your cousin improves soon. What a kind person you are to offer to look after his children.

The only thing I would say is that you could report it to the police too. Especially since she stabbed your cousin and hit him with a dog lead. Is that why he is in IC?

Anyway, the more different departments that get involved the more likely action is to be taken.

You are definitely NOT BU.
Esp in light of recent news events. Please do it now.

I agree with SM re the police.

Oh, I don't think this is at all borderline, I think you have to go to SS and the police. The woman is violent and negligent leaving her kids with someone whose own children have been taken into care.

Hope your cousin improves, must be such a hard time for you all.

You're doing the right thing. SS and police.
I hope it goes better for you all.

The Stabbing was a few weeks ago and the police know about this he is in the hospital because he apparently fell down the stairs and smashed his skull in. (which no one is sure if thats the truth or not) The police are also in involved in this but are not saying what they think has happened and are waiting to see if my cousin pull's through.

I know SS have been involved in the past because of the mother so will call them do I call them direct?

YANBU.
But be aware this will probably just be the start of a long process, so keep your energy for the journey.
Also, your cousin may well be in denial, angry, whatever, and blame you for interfering.
Similar situation with my sister.
You probably know this - just offering support.
Good luck and well done.

SD will SS say it was me that reported them to SS?

TBH My cousin would be mad angry if he found out who was looking after his kids. But thats if he pull's through and depends on what damage is done if he does pull through.

I think you have done the right thing. Hope the situation improves all round soon.

I do not know how it works but I do not suppose it really matters weather you call her SW directly or SS in general, the important bit is to make them aware of the situation.

Would you be able to take the boys in if SS asked you? or would they be places in care?

I really hope there is going to be a good outcome for your cousin and his DSs. I will be thinking of your family.

SS will preserve confidentiality at all times. They can not tell people who tipped them off, just protect the children

It all sounds very awful for the children, certainly a child protection issue.

Call SS, give them your concerns

Good luck and well done for caring. Good thoughts for your cousin.

If she is a real drunk, however nasty or even nice she is, then she is in no position to look after children because she cannot take responsibility for herself in any real way. And the most dangerous thing is that she will be convinced that the opposite is true, because that is how drunks are - they are incapable of accurately assessing the appropriateness or long-term effects of their own behaviour.

Personally, I would not leave a drunk responsible for the welfare of a rocking horse, let alone children.

Involving SS is obviously a big decision, but certainly YANBU to intervene as best you see fit.

BTW I speak as an ex-drunk.

This is really awful for all of you. I hope it turns out OK.
Is it worth 'phoning the school as well? I think poster who suggested getting as many agencies involved as possible is right.
I have reported suspicious incidents to school before. I found that they were on the case; already knew of the situation and were keeping a close eye, very good at involving other agencies, organised, very discreet and grateful for any added info. Go straight to the Head and insist on confidentiality.

You really should do this. I'm surprised that they're not already involved tbh.

Why did she not take you up on your offer to look after the boys?

Drunks can be nasty spiteful violent people who really don't act rationally at the best of times. My mum will tell testify to that (my gf was a drunk and made her and siblings lives a nightmare, luckily for them my gm is a star!).

You are doing the best thing for everyone involved.

if police are involved with teh stabbing and they know it was the Gf that did it then SS will already be involved.
this doesn't mean you shouldn't call them though.

SS pretty much have to warn people they are going round for a visit so its easy for them to see a nice normal family home when they arrive. if there is enough evedence that it isn't like that all the time then they can make spot visit's.

call them and tell them all you know. they will keep your identity confidential

I would happily take the boys in is that an option that SS will give as I wouldn't want to see them in Foster care. Also My uncle there Grandfather I would hope would take them in.

I was thinking about the school but as far as I know the 8yr old has not been all week.

My other Uncle has tried to involve himself and over impose to check on things but he is going to away this week and also has obvious worries I know he has contacted SS before.

Anyways I will call them now and see what they say.

if Ss decide the children aren't safely carwed for at home then yes you could ask to be considered as a placement for them.

this wont be an overnight thing and you will have to be assesed as to your suitability.
SS are veryc arefull where they place children in these circumstances. to outsiders it would seem logical to place within the family but theyhave to make sure that A) this wont allow any harm to conitnue by mum still haveing a lot of access and B0 that they arent going from one stressfull situation to another. they will need stability and calm.

good luck,

Please do call SS, also the police if they are not already involved. Both have to preserve witness anonymity. A phone call to the school, who will have a CP contact, won't go amiss either.

If SS have already been alerted, they are likely to act fairly quickly, especially in the light of recent events.

I phoned SS let them know what was going on Just got to wait and see what happens now.

Thanks for all the support and answers really grateful for your advice.

Glad you've called, pingping. Let's hope they take the right action.