To be really cheesed off at this woman..

[DonutMum]

Think I'll do nothing about this, but need to rant..

We've recently moved abroad and live on an ex-pat compound with loads of other familes. Now, there are kids parties here once every couple of weeks, in fact, we had one for DS2 in April, to which everyone is usually invited. Just found out there was a party for one of the kids yesterday and my boys were the only ones not invited.

Am I being unreasonable to think this is really mean? I didn't even think the mother had an issue with me. We don't even speak that much and when we do it's friendly enough. Am puzzled! By the way, she's not the type to forget to invite people so it was deliberate. The kids are only 4 and 3 years old.

nothing you can or should do ! she can;t ahve every child round every 2 weeks, mayb next time, your boys will be invited and some other children won;t?

the children will only be upset and feel excluded and left out if you tell them

I expect she just forgot you if you are new. Your DCs won't be upset if they don't know. It would be much better IMO to have small parties anyway-I hate huge affairs where everyone has to be invited, especially if they come so often.

Message withdrawn

I agree, small parties better. The thing is there's no restriction on numbers and the parties are in the communal area for the compound (that we all use freely, hence everyone is always invited iyswim) - so all the kids would be in the swimming pool, running around, playing etc., except mine. And I really mean just mine - 28 other kids on the compound and only my 2 not there. Just as well I stopped my three year old going off to the swimming pool where he would have found out for himself there was a party.

I guess someone has to set the precedent about making parties smaller and that's fine but I'm worried I've done something to offend her or my kids have and she hasn't said anything. Oh well, better things to worry about I guess.

It was a coincidence stopping DS2 going to the pool by the way.

DonutMum, I was upset a couple of years ago when DS wasn't invited. We have just got over being invited to every party of every person that DS know every weekend (We turned down a few too) We are exhuasted and out of pocket big time. WE decided that we have a BIG party at our house back in October (lots of freinds helped) Serve me right. On Sunday I was speaking to DH and saying next year we will have a tiny party. He didn't agree until I said we have to invite all his school class as we won't know who his friend will be so early in the year and all his nursery friends.

Small parties definitely best IMO; then it's not one kid that gets excluded. As children get to school age, learning that they won't go to every party around is part of the growing up process (as long as it's not being used for bullying- like inviting 28 kids and leaving the class victim out). I never allow more than 10 kids in total and that includes my own.