Was I being unreasonable for not talking to him?

[MrsSnape]

I posted on here a while ago about a mad woman trying to set me up with her grandson. Well it kind of died down after she seemed to get the message that I was no interested.

Anyway, on friday night we were due to attend a night out (not together but we were both due to be there IYSWIM?). She phoned me before hand to ask what time I was setting off and to tell me that young man would be a bit late (ok, and you're telling me because..?)

Anyway, the night went well, young man turned up with his grandad and sat near our table, kept looking across and smiling. I smiled back and said hello, he said hello back...perfectly friendly behaviour right?

But oh no, apparantly I was "mean" to him because I didn't make an effort to speak to him. He "couldn't" talk to me because he's too shy apparantly.

Now let's say for one minute that I DID like him...would it really be my resposibilty to instigate conversation because he's "too shy"?

Me and the grandson have never mentioned a word of this to each other. The only contact I've had with him about 'this' is a couple of texts. One asked how me and the kids were (sounded more like she'd wrote it), another asked what I'd been upto (he then proceeded to tell me he'd had loads of homework!?!) and another offering to take my son to his next tournament.

I know some people are shy but I've NEVER known a man be SO shy that he has to arrange dates and contact throught his grandma. It's so strange.

I think his GP's have responsibility for him, he's probably somewhere on some manner of spectrum/diagnosis. All the matchmaking is to probably find a nice young woman who'll take him away so he's no longer their responsibility.

I know he lives next door to them...

I agree that the grandson is probably not quite NT or entirely able to look after himself and sort out his own social life. And his GM's behaviour is not helping at all.
However this is not your problem. You are not responsible for these people. Community caring and sharing and looking out for one's neighbours etc does not mean you have to put up with being stalked and harassed by people who have problems that are not of your making. Remain civil with the grandson (doesn't sound like any of this is his fault) but say to the grandmother, 'I do not want to date your grandson and I do not want to hear any more about it from you. Leave me alone.'

ok, some flowers with no name on have just been delivered. Should I assume they're from him/her? I can't think of anyone else that would send them to me but it seems a bit "romantic" and "full on" for mad woman and grandson tbh....how the hell do I find out anyway? I can hardly just ask them...

why does it matter to you that he's shy? You sometimes sound like you want him to ask you out, Is this becausae you think you'd be able to deal with it more bluntly and finally if he were to ask or that you might consider going on a date if he does?

Beanie, its the childishness of it that is actually annoying me. I just think its a bit pathetic and if he wants to speak to me, he should bloody well do so.

I really can't be arsed with namby pamby crap, I'm not used to 'men' acting like this.

I wouldn't agree to a date, no. It's not that I want him to ask me out, I just want the whole thing to stop to be honest, its cringeworthy!

So if he weren't so namby pamby you still wouldn't go out with him?

Just tell his gran or mum or whoever she is that you're not interested. Maybe stop being so namby pamby yourself and it will get sorted

lol Beanie, point taken!

Yup, Mrs S, you are going to have to be assertive with this woman. Pratice saying it in front ot the mirror if you like - or just teXt it to her,
"I DO NOT WANT TO DATE YOUR GRANDSON. LEAVE ME ALONE." And if she makes any more approaches, repeat those two sentences, say nothing else and walk away.

And if she is nuts enough to persist, then you might want to consider informing the police because her behaviour in that case would be seriously abnormal.

The poor grandson may not even know what his gm is doing. As everyobne else has said, if she says anything again, tell her calmly and firmly, I am not interested and walk away