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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have taken the fuse out of Dd1's tv ??

22 replies

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 13:21

She is 11 and we have come to blows yet again over the state of her room.

I am not one of these people that expects a house to be spotless at all, as I think it is unobtainable when you have kids, but I do expect it to be reasonable and not look like a shit hole.

She quite often gets it into such a state that she doesn't know where to start, so on her birthday this month I sorted the whole room out, chucked out 3 black bags of junk, cleared space for new stuff etc etc.
Then for the next week I went in every day to pick washing up, open blind, make bed etc as she does non of this.

I missed one day of doing this, one day, and when I went back in the room it was back to shit hole, no floor showing, like a bomb had gone of mode.

So, I have asked her to tidy it, have been asking since Friday morning. She hasn't done it, which is no surprise, but what is anoying me is everytime I go upstairs she is watching tv, not crappy stuff but even so.

So, I gave her a final warning, start tidying up, or the fuse gets taken out of the plug. She didn't so I have taken it out.

So AIBU ??

OP posts:
TheArmadillo · 30/11/2008 13:22

YANBU
sounds reasonable to me.

LIZS · 30/11/2008 13:23

not at all.

UnfortunatelyMe · 30/11/2008 13:23

YANBU, you gave her an ultimatum and followed through.
Is she tidying up now?

FairydifferentID · 30/11/2008 13:24

Perfectly reasonable. I would say remove the tv as well if it's not done by this evening and 1 item she cares about each day until it's tidy. That's what my mum did with me. Worked for a while.

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 13:24

Not sure if she has started it now. I came downstairs before I committed mnurder.

OP posts:
MrsWeasleyLovesSantasSack · 30/11/2008 13:25

I'm with you on this one. Wish I was firmer when my DD was 11 might have saved me the headache I have now!

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 13:27

Physically removing the tv would be a hige pain in the ass for me, which is why i took the fuse out instead. She can't watch it now so thats fine.

If she carries on then the fuse will be going from her stereo too.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 30/11/2008 13:27

My dd (12 on tues) is exactly the same.. She has no TV in her room though... but I do confiscate her DS until she sorts it out.

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 13:27

She keeps saying that her room is a mess because it is small, but I know that if she had a bigger room she'd just make a bigger mess.

OP posts:
UnfortunatelyMe · 30/11/2008 13:27

If she doesnt know where to start you need to tell her IMO.
Tell her to sort it into rubbish/clean clothes/dirty clothes/to be put away/books/Not Meant To Be In here Piles.

When you have calmed down and feel she has started making progress maybe go in and say..Im going to help for 5 minutes, what would you like me to tackle?

cheesesarnie · 30/11/2008 13:28

yanbu.sounds completly reasonable.

will remember if ever my dc have tvs in rooms.

dont give in!

cheesesarnie · 30/11/2008 13:29

PuppyMonkey-you confiscate her son

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 13:31

Tbh I am not sure the 'i don't know where to start' argument washes with me anymore.

When I cleared it out last time, I said to her to just spend 5 min every evening picking a couple of bits and bobs up off the floor but she really doesn't care.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 30/11/2008 13:31

Yes, we start reproducing early where I live...

UnfortunatelyMe · 30/11/2008 13:42

I plan to to that little and often thing, and have for the last...er 15 years still ended up with the whole house bombed,cant see floors, week in week out. Some folk just cant do tidy!
Anyhows...sometimes the mess is too great to tackle, or so it seems, and you need to start thinking in Piles. Or just just wander round getting nothing done.
My dds took thurs eve, fri eve, and yesterday morning sorting out their room and STILL I have 2 large boxes in the bathroom of stuff the need to go through....its not just you

moshie · 30/11/2008 14:04

You have my sympathy, DD is 20 and we're still having words about the state of her room, but TBH, during the teenage years it became a case of " don't sweat the small stuff", I had bigger things to worry about.
The statement about not being able to keep it tidy because it's too small is the exact thing she said, but there was no difference when she swapped rooms with DS to have the bigger room.
I just keep on at her to not drop things all over the floor, but it gets me nowhere. Every now and then I just tell her to clear her floor, but most of it gets put straight in the wash basket, dirty or not.

IllegallyBrunette · 30/11/2008 14:15

Well in the 45 minutes since I last posted she has tidied her window sill LOL.

A start I suppose.

OP posts:
Tortington · 30/11/2008 14:16

sounds v. reasonable.

MadamDeathstare · 30/11/2008 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onthewarpath · 30/11/2008 14:56

I think your approach is fantastic wish I had thought of that one

compo · 30/11/2008 14:59

yanbu

did you watch The Family on Channel4?
You have to put yout foot down now so her room doesn't end up like that Emily's at 21 or however old she was

pointydog · 30/11/2008 15:05

fair enough

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