to be completely rubbish at running a home/ housekeeping/ all things related

[BarbieLovesKen]

This is embarrasing really and something thats been bothering me for ages.

Our house is filthy I cant understand how we let it get into such an absolute state but we do - its almost constantly at the "oh God dont let anyone call" stage.

I go to other people's homes and they are always so well kept and lovely - and wonder how they do it.

Every few weeks Ill make a big go at it and will scrub out presses/ walls/ skirting boards and pretty much anything I can get my hands on - and will vow to keep it this way yet, 3 days later I'm back to square one.

Our washing is constantly piled sky high e.g. 2 - 3 baskets full plus a pile thrown on the utility floor. Again, Ill spend a whole day and night every now and then at this, will get it down - vow to keep on top of it but 2 days later.....

I used to blame the state of our house on the fact it was so, so tiny and we had so much stuff and no where to put it - we lived in a teeny cottage for a few years, up until July when we moved into the house we spend the last few years building.

This new house is kept exactly the same - its not huge in general, but is huge to me and I cant use the "no room for stuff" excuse anymore. Also, its such a beautiful home and we worked so hard to get it, I cant understand why we cant just take pride in it!!!!.

Im really disgusted in myself to be honest.

Ill often say I/dd need new clothes etc.. only to do one of my big cleans and find lots of clothes just thrown in bottom of wardrobe/ under bed.. its ridiculous.

DH and I do both work full time but I dont think its an excuse at all. We only have 1 dd and I've seen parents with 5 children run a way better house than us. I have never thought myself as being lazy - I seem to always have something to do but maybe I am.

I'm rubbish at cooking but make the odd attempt at it - I have never baked in my life.

Please can anyone help transform us into domestic God and Godess?? its really taken its toll and really taking over our lifes.

FWIW, I am not a natural housekeeper and I approach the laundry thing quite differently. I dislike the idea of doing laundry every day, so I do it like this: Everyone has a laundry basket in their room and then on Weds afternoon or Thursday morning, the older kids bring their baskets to the washing machine and I collect the others plus towels. I then sort all the laundry into piles in front of the machine (lights, darks, reds, hand washing etc - I am a bit anal about this, but it doesn't take long, about 20 mins for 5 baskets and it means I always have full loads and saves money). Then I just work my way through alll the piles over the next couple of days, washing, hanging out if it's nice, hanging inside if it's crap and using the tumble drier when I need to. Stuff for ironing goes stright into the ironing basket which my cleaning lady does on a Saturday. On the weeks she doesn't come I do the ironing in from on the tv on Sat night or Sunday morning. Obv, sometimes you have to do an emergency wash run for school kit or whatever, but since I hate housework, I am much, much happier thinking I only do laundry 2 - 3 days per week. The system works for me, washing and ironing doesn't pile up and I don't resent doing it at all.

I read this in a book about being a SAHM, but could apply to anyone really.

Write down all the chores that need doing on a weekly-ish basis. Split them in 4 1/2 lists (4 days + a 'light' day).

Even if one thing gets out of hand on it, you know you'll be tackling it again within the week (or you can do a bit extra on the 'light' day), and all the other things you manage to achieve in the meantime will make you feel better.

PS I am completely domestically inept

Does your DH muck in (excuse the pun).
When I met my Dh he pulled me by coming around on a Sat morning and doing my ironing for me.
His house was immaculate, white carpets and everything, has he converted me, has he heck, I've dragged him down.
I look back on the photo's of my kids first few years and all I can see is the clutter/mess around them it's so embarrassing.
Anyway, fly lady changed my life it's fantastic.
I still have bad days but generally the house isn't dirty (a bit untidy maybe) and I'm on top of things.
I do also think not having a baby any more helps, DD1 has a dicky fit if a pencil is out of place in her room.

I have to do lists ,if I write a list I tend to get more done.

I don't do flylady but I do use her don't start a job that will take you longer than 15 mins ,because I often start something then get bored halfway through .

This tip sounds really daft please don't laugh at me if I am overwhelmed by the housework I just pretend I'm cleaning someone elses house ,motivates me for some reason .

I am naturally exactly the same as you@OP.

I cannot for the life of my stick to Fly. Too much like hard work! Too many emails and too much to strive towards. Instead I have kind of formulated my own little 'fly' plan that works for me.

These things have made a big change to my life:

Get a cleaner. Ours comes for 3 hours on a Thursday and cleans kitchen, bathroom, all floors etc in that time. I do very little cleaning in between. I know that at least on Thur, Fri and maybe Sat if we're lucky our house will look fantastic (it is usually a tip again by Sunday!). I also do a frantic tidy up on Weds evening so that the cleaner can actually clean. I'd never have the inclination to do it unless she was coming

Spend 30 mins a day doing the bare minimum of tidying (TIDYING, not cleaning - leave that to the cleaner) No more than 30 mins, no less. Some days it is just about enough time for me to put away my washing. Other days I can manage to do a good tidy up of a couple of rooms in that time. It means things never get too horrendous.

I have also managed to build in a few very small housework chores into my day. I always make my bed and do a very quick 5 min or less tidy up of my bedroom every morning. I always spend about 3 mins in the morning after my shower straightening up things in my bathroom (fold towels, wipe down sink etc).

It's not much, and my home is never going to be a show home because I am basically a messy slut and my husband is a slob and we have young children...BUT it has made a big difference ie. we can have guests over without cringing with embarrassment at the state of the place

Good luck

yanbu

housework is tedious, rarely appreciated and like painting the Fourth Bridge.

Delegate all you can and then act like you have housework related cataracts.

Alternatively, as long as there are enough clean clothes and enough edible food and clean plates to eat it off, you could just shrug and remind yourself that people with clean houses who might actually mind about yours being less clean, are boring.

I do very little housework and if anyone ever dares to comment, I just smile and say 'I have better things to do.'

It sounds to me like you might have too much 'stuff' which can make it really hard work to get everything done efficiently. A few years ago I read this book which helped me to be so brutal with my possessions it was quite amazing. I got rid of a LOT of stuff, it was liberating and wonderful and I've never missed any of it. I would highly recommend reading the book (I had an earlier edition, but I imagine the latest one contains much the same info). It's a bit 'out there' with a lot of it's references to Feng Shui, but I just ignored a lot of that really - basically the message is that your home will feel a lot nicer if there's less crap in it. But the way she writes really inspires you to be fearless about chucking/ recycling/ selling stuff. It's great!

Also, I've recently discovered FLYlady too, quite good at reminding you that you don't need to scrub your house from top to bottom each day, but a little bit here and there makes you feel like you're on top of things.

From your original post it sounds like you just need to get into a simple routine of doing a few basics every day, and the bigger clear outs need only happen every now and then (and will be a lot less difficult and boring).

Good luck!