Don't expect anyone's up but I've woken up steaming from this .....

[2sugarsandapuppy]

....

Last month H's son emailed us to say he would be coming over for Christmas from Indonesia, giving the date (30th November flight) and that he may need a bed to sleep in. Email goes on to say if we want to get away anywhere, he'd be happy to house/dog sit for us. Lovely. We'll take dds out of school then, thanks very much.

Feeling all bitter and twisted about this because although H emailed his son on Monday, asking if he could pick him up from Heathrow, I still don't know if he's turning up on Sunday or not.

While being quite a likeable person, my annoyance is further coloured by the fact that yesterday H proudly told my mum 'He doesn't like Christmas and he doesn't like children'.

AIBU in thinking - if it had been one of my friends who had left us not knowing where we stand vis a vis his arrival/staying/length of stay, H would have had a dickky fit, and that his son, who's 45, should have the manners/wherewithall to let us know?

YANBU - I hate being left up in the air. I got stood up by a friend this week and I was so annoyed let alone having someone come and stay with you. Your dss needs to grow up.

I don't really understand what is happening. Is it that you may or may not have a house guest until Christmas starting tomorrow, but you don't know for sure?

I can see why that is annoying certainly.

A month seems a long time to stay with a parent at 45. Not saying it's an outrageous thing to do but to just announce such a long stay to a couple with children seems very presumptuous.

I mean, coming from now doesn't really count as coming for Christmas, does it? He's arriving in November!

Your H doesn't like children or Christmas? Or is that his son? If the latter then I just wouldn't concern yourself with that. Lots of people go on about not liking Christmas and children because they (erroneously) think it makes them seem interesting

Oh God that would drive me insane - doesn't like children? Doesn't like Christmas? Tell him to go and stay somewhere else then!

Is he a batchelor and without kids? If so he sounds just like my db and bil. They are like cats - come and go when they please, always on their own agenda.

Drives me nuts.

yabu it's his son

I think you are being a little unreasonable. Unless he hasn't turned up in the past, is there any real reason to assume he won't if he has given you flight information.

A lot of People without kids , especially men, say they don't do kids or Christmas. Well if he doesn't why is he coming?

It sounds like he made his offer to house sit with good intentions, being a man and childless he wouldn't have taken the kids being at school in to consideration.

I hope you find out if he is coming, at least then you can get yourself organised. I would carry on regardless.

Holy cow, I've just found out that H's son did call today. I asked in a matter-of-fact way whether or not he'd heard from him.

He's coming 'sometime next week'. Sheeeeeeesh. He's older than me.

Yabu

If you look at it from the son's perspective he's just telling you his needs. It is a bit inconvenient for you but he'll probably be coming and going whilst visiting other friends and things and probably doesn't know himself yet the details of his stay.

We had a friend from thailand come back for a couple of weeks and he wasn't sure what he was doing for the whole time, but we were just glad to see him when he did stay.