...to think that 3 months is too soon for a nursery to move a baby/toddler from room to room?

[WilfSell]

AIBU?

I'm certainly very upset but would be interested to hear if this is acceptable elsewhere.

Wilflette no. 3 is a very clingy baby and it took us months to settle him into nursery at all - he started at 9 month, but didn't really start properly until a couple of months later. This was officially May but he only went regularly and for longer periods from end July. He was then moved up a room (he was 13 months by then) end September. Today (Friday evening! So I couldn't even go and speak to the manager about it and will fret all weekend...) they told me they were moving him again because they were creating a 'new' room for a different age group. they don't know who the room leader will be yet.

The staff tried to reassure me that 'he'll be moving up with his friends...' HE DOESN'T NEED FRIENDS - he's 15 months FGS: what he needs is consistent adult care from his nursery...

Meanwhile, at the other end of the pre-school age, my middle son will have been in the same room with the same staff for 2 years by the time he starts school.

They have got their organization and priorities wrong surely?

They have 'high demand' for under-2 places, and a new room has become available. So they're cashing in, right?

I'm even adding up the sums to see if we can afford a nanny (but I know we can't )...

What to do please?

Calm down!!!!!! He will be fine! Him getting attached to one member of staff is NOT good...what happens if she is sick/on holiday?

what age group will the next room be??

Sorry no advice, as I don't know much about nurseries, but I think I would be fretting about this too. He's already moved once in the short time he's been there and as you say you want continuity of care.

friends

Because they're expanding the number of available rooms, they are breaking up what is essentially a 1-2 room into two: a 10m-15m and a 15m-2yrs room... So mine will be in the 'new' one.

I think it is a great nursery in many ways, and all three kids have been there. This kid however, is much less able to cope with it than the other two were and I am very unhappy about a 3rd major emotional upheaval in his little life in the space of 6 months.

I understand that things change sometimes and operational needs have to be met (which I suspect in this case is driven by their eyes on the pennies...) but I'm not happy about my kids being on the end of something badly planned.

The ONLY way this will work for me is if one or two of the current staff move with him... Perhaps that is what I should enquire about?

Nurseries don't like unhappy children - it makes the other kids unhappy too. They'll make sure he's okay and the fact he's moving on with the kids he's with now will be stability for him (even if you don't call them friends at this age)

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

The friends thing implies a continuity in his peer group which will offer him some stability.

It could however be to his advantage if the group is too large and they're splitting it to age/ ability groups so each child can be more specifically catered for.

Really bad on the nursery though for making a change and not having a senior member of staff available to discuss it with you. Do you have a nursery email you could send a note to requesting a call back to discuss? Or if it is going to stress you out all weekend an out of hours number. Its not unreasonable to call about a direct concern so you have the weekend to mull it over.

I think that nurseries are better for toddler+ children because they get socialisation that they don't necessarily get with a nanny. Slightly selfishly also they don't form a very close bond with another single adult.

I've no problem at all with the principle of nurseries 'spreading' the love so to speak! I've been mostly happy with the balance of key worker care and different staff. But at that age, I think what is for them a big change (and I know it will be because he's only just - like after 2 of the 3 months and that means one month ago - got over the last one...)

They must think about individual children's needs even if they can't always accommodate them?

What is normal at other nurseries?

DS2 was in babies room as an intro to nursery at 18mths (was toddler age but theres more staff in babies to help newbies settle in) Once settled after about 6 weeks made a slow transition over a month to toddlers, after about 8 months moved to the big boys room (don't know what its really called its what he proudly calls it) again this was a slow transition initially for a couple of mornings with his nap and story back in familiar surroundings.

Actually on reflection they've really carefully handled moves. And yes every child is individual and should be catered for as such. Thats a nurserys duty.

I heart my childminder -

I loved her from the moment she told me that she made herself late for an appointment so she and DS2 could have a snuggle on the sofa as he was having trouble settling in.

a good childminder could be your answer. DS2 is pretty clingy and she has been amazing, if she should be ill she is friends with another childminder who she spends time with most days so DS2 knows her. (it hasn't been an issue as yet).

She is so loving and interested in the children she minds, she gives me so many details about his day, the important stuff; what made him smile, what actions he did to head shoulders etc,

I did look at a few nurseries but the staff always seemed a bit harrassed.

maybe... I did come home in a massive strop shrieking at H 'that's IT, I'm pulling him OUT of nursery...' but the thought of finding a good childminder fills me with dread. And we chose nursery deliberately: staff get a break, they rotate equipment, they have play plans, they're fully trained. and mostly, they're warm and loving and attentive to the kids. I suspect this is a managerial decision.

I don't think moving rooms in itself is a bad thing. I have used nursery for my dcs- both clingy and bf-ed even after they started at 11 months. Once settled, they just got on with it. In fact, the nursery would slowly transition them into the next room even before they announced it to me. The nursery would take them to the new room for increasing periods and bring them back.

There is a 1.5-3 room which is very large. But there is a side annex to it where the older ones in that age group go to do 'older' things, like circle time.

Same for the 3-5 room. The older ones break out into a smaller room upstairs to do letters and numbers. It is a status symbol to go upstairs.

The nursery move the children with their peers ie the ones who started at the same time. So they are always with their friends. I do think young as your ds is, there is comfort and safety in seeing his friends go with him.

My dcs have never missed their old carers in previous rooms. Sometimes even forgot them. In short, just take your cue from your ds. You might find he is not particularly bothered.