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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want son to continue to believe in Santa?

46 replies

claw3 · 28/11/2008 10:45

Driving to Argos yesterday, ds who is 4 asked me "will you buy me a go diego go toy" i reply "no, its almost Christmas, you will have to wait and see what Santa brings". He then tells me "but Santa doesnt bring the toys you do"!! I say "of course i dont, what makes you think that". He says "I know you are lying, ive seen go diego go toy on top on your wardrobe"

The go diego toy IS on top of my wardrobe, in a black bag, apparently he climbed on my dressing table to see what was inside!

How do i get out of this one? Do i think up more little 'white' lies to tell him in order to have him believing again? 4 seems too young to NOT believe in Santa anymore?

HELP

OP posts:
Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 10:45

Sorry on top of dressing table, not wardrobe!!

OP posts:
tiredemma · 28/11/2008 10:47

Oh no!!! My ds2 (aged 5) still really, really believes. Im having to bribe ds1 (age 8) not to tell him otherwise.

christywhisty · 28/11/2008 10:56

In our house Santa only bought a stocking, big presents came from us.
Alternatively you could say something along the lines of
"Santa was having trouble finding one, so he asked Mummy to get one"

When DS was starting to doubt he said he would leave a camera out and ask Santa to take a photo of himself.
Thankfully we had a bit of notice, so we managed to take a photos of the garden, export them onto the computer, superimpose pictures of santa and rudolf onto them and then on christmas eve download them back onto the camera. He was thrilled with the photos.

mumto3boys · 28/11/2008 10:57

You lie. You tell him it is a birthday present for a child you know, even if you make up said child. Then wrap it and hopefully he goes to pre school or something and tell him one day you will be delivering the present.

Diego toy is then removed from current hiding place to somewhere more hidden. He believes it is gone and then it magically re appears Xmas morning!

Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 10:57

Tired - Yesterday, i just changed the subject rather quickly, but I know he will not let it drop. I will be facing 1001 questions about it. Im not sure whats worse, lying to him further (for his own good, of course!) or him not believing!

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angrypixie · 28/11/2008 10:59

I agree with Santa only bringing the stocking, any other path fraught with danger (how else can you explain that some things are too expensive etc if Santa brings them?)

Nighbynight · 28/11/2008 11:01

yabu, admit it...my children have stockings and Ive never lied to them, they still get just as excited.

Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 11:06

With my other 2 boys, now 15 and 12, i always said i would tell them there was no santa if and when they started to question it as didnt want to insult their intelligence. But they were a lot older than 4 before they questioned!

He isnt fobbed off too easily, but i dont want to tell him there isnt a Santa.

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theirmum · 28/11/2008 11:06

I tell my DS (Also 4) that I buy the presents and Santas helpers come callect them as he is too busy to buy every child in the worlds toys so i am helping him out I also did this for him he stood with his mouth open he has also asked me if we can look at the list again you need to register for it using a US zip code I used 90210 its free and they dont take any personal details just your email address! Do hope you get one more christmas of him believeing

Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 11:10

Angry - Its a bit late to change the Santa tradition now. Would have been a good idea if thats what i started with

OP posts:
Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 11:19

Theirmum - Just had a quick look, thats brill, i will give that a go. Although i do get 'why is it that all Santas look different'. He always questions why there is more than one santa in shopping centres ie one collecting money for charity and one in Santas grotto!!

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theirmum · 28/11/2008 12:44

I always say the real santa the one at Harrods cant be in all the different stores so he has a lot of helpers who see the other children and report back to him otherwise it wouldnt be fair that only a few people see him my DS gets that!

angrypixie · 28/11/2008 13:03

I do that too theirmum although we know that the real one resides in the caves at Painshill Park and all the others are his helpers x

Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 13:12

Theirmum - Did the Santa video, i thought it was great. DS however was not very impressed, he was more concerned as to where Santa go the photo of him from!

I will give the 'present for someone's birthday idea a go' but am fully expecting a 'i told you so' from him on Christmas morning when he opens it.

Bloody 4 year old teenagers, who needs em!

He is not too keen on going to see Santa, i think he only tolerates it because he thinks he gives the presents. Perhaps the 'Santa' thing is more for me, than him

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fircone · 28/11/2008 13:19

I have said that Father Christmas's elves make/get some of the presents, but I have to get some and then I take them to the post office and send them to the North Pole so FC had deliver them on his sleigh.

I make a big deal of puffing and blowing and saying I had to stand in the po queue for hours to send the things off. AND I say that then FC can consult his list to see if the dcs actually deserve all their presents or whether a few should be held back.

This method has not failed me... yet.

theirmum · 28/11/2008 13:23

Oh dear my 4 year old DS must just be more gulible than yours lol

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 28/11/2008 13:30

Sorry,but YABU unreasonable to lie to him. DS2 has not beleived for years, certainly since he was about 4, don't know why, he just figured it out (DS1 never gave the game away)- I understad why you might want to keep him 'sweet & inoccent' but surely to be lied to in response to a direct question is dangerous ground - at the least he will surely be confused.

Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 13:42

Mrsguy - I remember with my older boys, they drove me mad with questions, until i had no choice. But once i confirmed, what they already knew, although they were pleased at being 'right', they were both really disappointed if you know what i mean.

Surely a few white lies, couldnt hurt?

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theirmum · 28/11/2008 13:50

Mrsguy dont tell me you sat your kids down and told them there is no such thing as the tooth fairy, that santa is not real and that one day we are all going to die! Good god women put things in prospective I dont think its going to give our children bad values trying to keep the magic of xmas alive is it

Original poster
claw3 · 28/11/2008 14:01

Theirmum - I dont know about more gulible, i think having brothers who are a lot older, makes him act too grown up at times. The cheeky monkey actually used sarcasm on his dad the other dad!!

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apostrophe · 28/11/2008 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 28/11/2008 14:17

DSs know that I buy presents as well as Santa bringing some. Tell him that was a present you bought for him.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/11/2008 14:25

4 is so young not to beleive

I believe and im 35

tell a few while lies

I dont have children yet, but when i do, I will buy the big pressie myself and be from mum/dad and then smaller things from santa

i dont think children reliese how much things cost, and it is good for them to know that the bike/wii etc comes from mum and dad and they had to work hard for it

regards to your ds Op, i would go with the story that is is a present for someone else and HIDE it in a bett place

LuLuBai · 28/11/2008 14:33

My nephew still believes in the tooth fairy and he's 8 .

I think it would be a good idea to introduce the concept of big gifts being from mummy and daddy so that he can start to learn that Christmas is about giving as well as receiving so perhaps you could talk to him about that. You could make or buy a present for Daddy together (make sure Daddy involves DS in choosing a gift for you too!).

mymblemummy · 29/11/2008 02:41

Santa brings the stocking! Wrap up Diego (whatever that might be) and put it under your tree from you.

We always say Santa can only come while you believe in him. When you don't, he can't, and parents have to fill the stocking instead. Only the presents are never as good.

Find a better hiding place.