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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have taken the day off work cos DD was sick all last night even tho DP is off work today?

22 replies

Mollymom · 28/11/2008 10:15

DD is 14 months old and was properly sick last night for the first time-several times, she was very clingy to me and very washed out. Decided not to go to work today cos she still wasn't herself this morning but not sick. Have used a days leave for this.

Thing is-am I letting work down cos DP (DDs Dad) was off work today anyway and I only work 2 days a week so feel bad not going in at short notice?

Am tying myself in knots about it now (DD is sleeping).

AIBU taking the day off?

OP posts:
rubyslippersisappearinginpanto · 28/11/2008 10:17

Personally i would have gone to work

your DP was already going to be around

am sure you feel tired and a bi washed out yourself so i can understand it

saadia · 28/11/2008 10:22

I think if dp was at home anyway, and if he is good with dd - ie can comfort her, knows what to feed her etc and will give her full attention, then I would have gone to work as I wouldn't want to lose a day's leave.

Even though it was short notice I wouldn't say that YABU as you have not taken a sickie and sometimes it is very dofficult to judge what to do when such young children are ill.

Wispabarsareback · 28/11/2008 10:24

YANBU - you've taken a day's leave, not called in sick (which TBH I think I would have done - and have done before).

Grammaticus · 28/11/2008 10:39

I'd have gone in. But you've taken it as hols, so no need to feel too bad, unless there was something vital to be done at work.

FantasticMissFox · 28/11/2008 11:46

YANBU If your DD needs you then you need to stay at home. If your DD is sick it wouldn't be a bad thing to have both you and your dp around.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 28/11/2008 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PuppyMonkey · 28/11/2008 11:53

You might have given a bug to your work colleagues if you'd gone in. So you're doing them a favour by staying at home!

HeadFairy · 28/11/2008 11:54

I'd have stayed home, but then I always feel my work are quick enough to screw me so I don't owe them anything... can you tell I'm not 100% happy at work

pippylongstockings · 28/11/2008 12:00

I would have wanted to stay at home but would have gone into work - I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.

Speaking from my own expereince I know there will be times when I will need to stay at home and I would rather keep the days hol/emergency leave etc for when I really need it.

But then again I remember phoning in sick when my DS1 was 10 months old just becuase I wanted to be with him for the day and sniff him!

cheeset · 28/11/2008 12:01

Your supposed to feel guilty about work, society works that way. You did the right thing because you made a decision so it has to be right yes? You took leave rather than a sicky so you did the right thing yes?

Original poster
Mollymom · 30/11/2008 14:27

As it turns out looks like I did work a favour cos I was ill too on Friday night so if I had gone to work I would have passed it on to everyone!

No longer feel guilty.

OP posts:
SaintAndrewsflag · 30/11/2008 14:31

Lst time I took a day off for DS2 being ill, I was given a formal warning for "unathorised absence". So I would have felt pressured to go in I think

PuppyMonkey · 30/11/2008 14:32

Told you!

Maggie1973 · 10/02/2011 19:45

YANBU, you'd only be worrying all day and probably wouldn't be able to concentrate on your work anyway. I think it's awful that parents have to feel guilty about this kind of thing.

hairylights · 10/02/2011 19:51

If you've taken a day off unpaid or annual leave then yanbu.

kittybuttoon · 11/02/2011 00:02

YANBU but could I suggest that next time you go in?

The reason I say this, is because they only have two days a week in which to assess how well you do your job. If you miss out for any reason, it might impact on your performance review. Days off at short notice could be construed as lack of commitment to the job. If you want more hours in the future, that might become important.

I know it is really difficult, but this time you did have a choice as your OH was there, and I think if it happens again, I'd leave him in charge.

SurreyDad · 11/02/2011 05:10

It's difficult the first time a child is ill or comes out in spots - you wouldn't have been able to concentrate if you'd gone to work anyway. As DC gets older, you will think nothing of them being sick!

However, if DP is there, then you should save your days for when he isn't there. We take turns to have days off when our child is sick so that neither parent is soley responsible, and that way it doesn't particularly impact on either of our jobs.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 11/02/2011 07:23

Well, good job as it turns out!

But - were you not saying, by staying home too, that in your opinion your partner was incapable of caring for his sick child?

That's pretty insulting to him.

AnnieLobeseder · 11/02/2011 07:27

Taking a day off when your child is ill is fair enough, especially as it turned out you caught it too.

But I hope your DH didn't feel undermined or that you don't trust him to look after his own child.

Violethill · 11/02/2011 07:32

Yanbu if its a days leave, but I'm surprised you feel your dp is less 'good' when It comes to looking after a poorly child. It kind of implies that you aren't equal as parents

SandStorm · 11/02/2011 07:34

Why has this popped up again when the OP was in 2008?

AnnieLobeseder · 13/02/2011 19:54

It is interesting how it's only the recent posts suggest how insulting to could be to her DH - I think we ladies have matured in our views in the last 3 years!

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