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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my mum to buy my ds a quadbike for christmas?

37 replies

wannaBe · 27/11/2008 14:19

he's 6.

It's not a petrol one, it's one of those ones you charge up on the mains and it then runs off an electric motor.

She's got this idea that she's going to buy one each for ds and his cousin, and one of the cars for my sister's youngest who is 2.5.

I have pointed out to her that there's nowhere for ds to ride something like that around here. Apart from that I'm not even sure where the hell I'm going to keep it, and besides shouldn't children be riding actual bikes and scooters at this age rather than depending on motor power?

But she's buying one each for the other kids, and as I can't think of something of equivalent value he might like I just know she'll buy one for him too.

I know I'm going to be told I should be grateful he has grandparents that care and all that, but tbh it's more like a contest - a £100 present won't be enough - she's already bought books and other toys too and will make them each a stocking. Really he doesn't need that much.

so ibu?

OP posts:
queribus · 27/11/2008 14:25

Of course you're not being unreasonable - what a ridiculous present for a 6 year old.

Can't you ask her to buy something else, regardless of the value? £100 is an AWFUL lot of money to spend.

I haven't spent that on two children for xmas - [mean mummy emoticon] :D

Also, if you've got nowhere to keep it, won't it just get ruined if it's left outside? If she buys it anyway, sell it on ebay in the new year!!

Original poster
wannaBe · 27/11/2008 14:26

I'll take that as a yes then. oh well

OP posts:
pingping · 27/11/2008 14:28

Queribus OP should not sell it in the new year.

I think YABU its up to your Mum what she wants to buy her grandchild maybe she wants to buy them all one so they don't argue or get upset. FYI them Quad bikes are FAB!

mumblechum · 27/11/2008 14:29

Apart from the practical difficulties, imo, quad bikes for small children are dangerous.

pingping · 27/11/2008 14:29

Wannabe maybe suggest to your Mum to keep the Quad bike at her house then your DS can play with it at Grandma's

laweaselmys · 27/11/2008 14:29

Say you won't have it because they're dangerous.

And tbh, if you've got no private land to ride it on then they are IMO. Obviously, he would not be safe anywhere near a road, so I don't know how you'd get it anywhere and even in a public park he would be at risk of mowing down other kids... they can go quite fast (compared to toddlers).

Does she have enough space at her house, I suppose you could let her get it then and say it has to stay there at all times? If she buys it anyway refuse to give it to your DS and sell it etc.

Original poster
wannaBe · 27/11/2008 14:30

ah xposts.

She will spend at least £150 each on the three grandchildren. And it's not one present from nanny - each will have their own santa sack and a stocking with stocking fillers. It's as if she's shopping for her own children iyswim.

Similarly she will spend the same each on me and my sister, and on dh and bil.

It's like an obsession.

And all have to be equal, with equal amounts of money spent and equal amounts of presents.

One year ds and my sister's eldest (youngest wasn't born then so they would have been about thre yo) each had 15 presents from her - far more than they'd had from us.

It's madness.

OP posts:
dougal3 · 27/11/2008 14:30

Unless you live amongst many rolling acres, it's a definite no-no.
And the under-10 equivalent of a white van.
And stomach-turningly risky.
YANBU.
Could you tell her what he really wants is a trip to Paris on the Eurostar, with you as chaperone?

sb6699 · 27/11/2008 14:30

I always think parents should be grateful whatever the gift but you've already said you know folk are going to tell you that so...

We have had one of these plug in thingies for each of my 3 dc's and they're crap anyway. Never get played with after the first few days and end up taking up space in the garage.

Would have thought at 6 he was too big for one of these. My ds had a proper quadbike at this age (before I get flamed he is properly supervised and has joined a club, we live rurally so plenty of places the farmer allows him to use and he probably has more body armour than our troops).

Couldn't you suggest a bike/scooter if you shop around a small bike won't be any difference in cost and he'll probably get more use from it.

Jackstini · 27/11/2008 14:31

YANBU to not want one. Your 6yo might love it but that's not the point! If he has nowhere to ride it or keep it she shouldn't buy it.
Can you think of anything else he would love that you can ask her to get? (Where ds can open it in front of her and she can see fab reaction!)
However, you will never change how grandparent want to treat their dgc - you would not want her telling you what you can and can't spend your money on, so this is one of those situations where you have to bite your tongue and pretend to be grateful for her generosity.

travellingwilbury · 27/11/2008 14:38

I would tell her I didn't want it , I had to tell my own mum this a couple of yrs ago as she would always insist on buying them big plastic toys that we couldn't store and they would end up getting ruined or ignored . She was a bit miffed but then when she moved in with us for a couple of months before moving she spent the whole time telling us that they had too many toys .

She is buying them one small sized present this yr and spending time with them instead .

Are there any farm parks or similar nearby and she could buy a years membership instead ? Much better idea if she really wants to spend the money

pingping · 27/11/2008 14:39

You are talking about the little kid quad bikes????

I am the same as your Mother I spend an awful lot of money on my God children espeically one of my God daughters she gets spoilt rotten by me I get her main presents and a Santa sack but this Christmas money is tight.

dougal3 · 27/11/2008 14:39

Sorry, too flippant. She sounds as though she really, really wants to show you all she loves you, all, equally, a lot. and you're drowning in big, big things.
It's not funny, it's actually hard when its love.
You're obviously sensible and have tried steering her towards other stuff, like music lessons, but it sounds overwhelming.
UR still NBU.

Rindercella · 27/11/2008 14:40

YANBU at all. He is your DS and honestly it is up to you what your son plays with. Know I will get flamed for this, but small children + quad bikes = chavvy (and bloody dangerous too). I know my mother would love to go totally over the top with DD (her only GC), but she is pretty restrained, asks me what sort of thing to buy DD and buys her small presents (and then gives a large cheque, DD has more savings than I do, lol!).

Original poster
wannaBe · 27/11/2008 14:40

oh I am grateful. And she bought him a present for his birthday which he really wanted and he loved and his reaction made her day. but... but... but... he would be as happy with one or two presents and maybe a couple of books, and more likely to remember where they even came from, rather than a sack load of presents which will all just roll into one after a couple have been opened.

OP posts:
thenewme · 27/11/2008 14:42

IMO a quad bike is a really bad idea. I remember that poor child who died last year after cxoming off one.

Surely you should have some say in what she buys when it is something like a quad bike?

Lilyloo · 27/11/2008 14:52

Do you mean a quad bike or electric kiddies car ?
I would abs say no to a quad bike for a 6 year old far too dangerous.
If it electric car then i would ask her to keep it at her house for when he goes there. They take up lot's of room and can't be stored outside so unless you have a garage where can you put it.

Simply · 27/11/2008 15:07

If you haven't got rolling acres and a club nearby like sb6699 then I'd say that yanbu to not want that as a present for a 6 year old.

It's not healthy to overspend on children imo and I don't know why people do it. I'd far rather (and I do, with the parents' consent) give money and it goes into the children's bank account for when they are older with just smallish presents if they get a lot from others too.

MascaraOHara · 27/11/2008 15:13

Myt dd had a battery powered quad at 4 (maybe early 5) can't rememebr anywya, point is.. it was great, fine, doesn't go very fast etc. she loved it.. however... it was only used on farmland

I wouldn't have felt the same about it had it not been on a farm

MascaraOHara · 27/11/2008 15:14

and for all those saying it's dangerous, we fully intended to get dd a petrol quad as soon as she was big enough and had mastered starting/stopping etc

but things change

sb6699 · 27/11/2008 15:24

Mascara - you can adjust the speed limiter on quad bikes so they don't go so fast.

DS is 10 now and until recently when we adjusted it, I could run faster than his bike!

Any activity can be dangerous, its a case of being sensible. I wouldn't let ds out on an open road or for that matter out unsupervised. We are very strict and he knows if he wants to ride, he has to use all his safety equipment and knows that if he passes animals/children while out on the farmland he has to pull over and turn out the engine until they have passed.

If you have land available and can join a club, its can be a great hobby.

claw3 · 27/11/2008 15:26

Wannabe - He will soon get bored with one of those electric quad bikes, they dont go very fast. You can pedal a push bike faster! You have to charge them for about 20 hours to get 20 minutes use.

How about asking your mum to buy him something from your list and put the rest of the money into a bank account for him. That way she can spend the same on him and may feel better?

Original poster
wannaBe · 27/11/2008 15:49

she won't give money.

She feels that money is pointless and she wants to buy actual material goods...

OP posts:
gscrym · 27/11/2008 15:54

BIL was going to buy 6 year old DS a mini bike for his birthday. Thought it was a great idea seeing as both DH and I drive bikes. I politely told him he should hang on for half an hour after bringing it over to give me time to strip the engine out of it and hand that part back.

claw3 · 27/11/2008 15:58

Wannabe - If she is going to buy it anyway no matter what you say or suggest, i guess there is not much you can do.