To think that DH could be a bit more concerned that his mother is coming to stay in 2 days time?

[timesup]

The situation is MIL is flying over on saturday and staying until tuesday morning.

DS and DD were of sick last week and although although back to school I have now got the bug that they had and have had a constant headache,shivers and just feeling sick all the time.

The hoover went bang on saturday halfway through me hoovering upstairs and DH promised he would get a replacement on the way home from work on monday.

No hoover as yet and DH has been home late this week so far after having drinks after work with workmates.

I know he has a stressful week at work this week but he saiddhe would be home to help get the house in order for her visit.

The whole house needs a good hoovering.
the spare room which he is currently using as his dressing room,computer room,needs a good tidying as she will be sleeping there.
Have got the clean bed linen ready but he says he is going to buy a new duvet so can't even get that ready.

The bathroom she will be using could do with a general clean and the kitchen etc etc.

Have been feeling terrible and been going to bed early every night as am exhausted after nurse maiding the chiildren last week and now feeling ill myself.
Broached the subject of food whilst she was here as was going to do an online shop but he just said don't worry and get yourself all worked up or you will spoil her visit.

She is a very good cook and her other DIL was on masterchef so no pressure then

At the moment as I have'nt felt like eating the thought of orgainising meals make me feel ill .

He did offer to get a few things at the supermarket on saturday and he would cook.
Although he can cook very well he hardly ever does and as his mother has old fashioned values and sees it as the womans job to cook she will think he does it all the time.

When in reality I cook all the time.
Maybe that's what he wants her to think.
But then she will think bad of me.

Usually he is in the pub most nights and me and the children eat alone,his sits in the oven.

If the house is a mess then it will be down to me,so as much as he says don't worry about it ,I do.

anniemac-thanks for replying on my other thread.
I am somewhat pissed,although not literally like DH.

primigravida-thanks for your kind thoughts.
I am sure like you say something will be ctiticized.
Will have to take a few deep breaths.

Was all for starting tomorrow but after tonights attitude he can get on with it himself.

He says it's no big deal and nt to mkae a fuss,so I won't .

Well I think there are some more things going on here than just the cleaning for the both of you, aren't there?

You feel resentful because he is out at work and then can just go down the pub as if he has no responsibilities, when he actually has a family at home.

He feels irritated that he works hard and then doesn't want to be nagged at about cleaning when he gets home (who does?!)

With his mother coming to stay, it's raising feelings about missing your parents.

You also feel that your MIL is judging you for not being "good enough".

So, here is what I would do for now.

Ask your husband when a good time would be to have a "brief chat". Ie, don't corner him when he's in the middle of something, get him to state the time.

The tell him you are feeling stressed about his Mum's visit as you like the house to look nice, and sometimes feel that she is comparing you to her other DILs. Remind him gently that you have been feeling ill, and suggest that you get someone out to give the place a good clean and spruce up before MIL arrives.

Then you sit down for 30 minutes and make a meal plan for when she arrives, whilst making a shopping list, and get an online order done.

Tell your DH that you understand how busy he is, so you're going to order a new hoover. Then do so.

I would worry about tackling the drinking once your MIL has gone - deal with one thing at a time!

And good luck.