to object to a bloke from my past telling people in the present he ****d me?

[mypastcatchingup]

this all sound a bit ridiculous but here goes.

About 15 years ago, in my single days.....
One particular guy whom I will call R was someone I snogged a few times. He once walked me home and we had a ridiculous and unsatisfactory fumble.I stopped any kind of contact when I discovered he was living with someone.Thw whole thing was a big nothing and I had completely forgotten he existed

He recently reappeared locally and told a male friend of mine I was an ex ( you can tell from the thread title this is not the vocabulary he used)

AIBU to be really pissed off by this?

wonderwoman I just don''t have the balls to say that and I am concerned it might make others think I was a bit of a slapper. Esp as i did NOT shag him!!!

Yes I know there is some twisted thinking there and that is what is bothering me.

Winky how did you handle it?

I walked up to a group of guys once to over hear one ofthem telling the others that he had shagged me the night before. As it was at work I was ver .

I tapped him on the shoulder , extended my hand and said " Gosh I did sound like I was enjoying myself? Under the circumstances shouldn't we really be introduced. My name is Pag... and you are..?"

About three years later he was hired to work in a team of brokers led by ...me
I NEVER let him live it down. Ever

He broght his girlfriend into the office once and I asked her if she really was his girlfriend .

God I was a bitch.
Lovely now though

This happens to me now and again and I usually say, 'Did he? Must have been rubbish because I can't remember.' Though sometimes I really have forgotten and have to be reminded of the details and then apologise prettily to whoever I have just Denied...
Mind you, I sometimes mention that I've shagged someone when their name comes up in conversation, but a) only when it's true and b) not to anyone who I think might freak out at the thought and c) not if it might cause the ex-shaggee trouble (well unless ex-shaggee was rubbish and acted like an arse afterwards).

But in your case OP, when he's fibbing because he never got more than a snog and he's a creep anyway, I would recommend a smug smirk and 'IN his dreams' as a response. It's his word against yours after all.

solidgold I am glad you commented as I really like your views on all things sex.

Indeed I had genuinely forgotten this person ever existed when first asked .

WWHy the hell should this bug me though?
Why can't I just shrug it off?

Does it bug you because he is really yukky? (Not in a sense of being unfashionably dressed or a bit porky or balding but in the sense of being a really rather unpleasant individual.) We al have the odd failure of judgement - at least you didn't marry him.

I suppose it's annoying because one (unfair and untrue) interpretaion of what he is saying is 'Look! MPCU was once pissed/desperate enough to suck my knob!' WOuld it feel better to think of his behaviour as: he wishes he could have shagged you because you are gorgeous and way cool and out of his league?

he sounds very imature to be bringing it up after all this time.

He sounds really creepy! And rather a sad little figure. Say, god he was always after me, made me shudder. I would never have had sex with him in a million years. Yuk. Is that what he's saying now? (roll eyes)

This happened me quite a few years ago and after the milli-second of embarrassment (sp?) my retort was: No you didn't, you couldn't get it up!!
Remarkably, he never mentioned it again

Lying about it is not on.
If you had shagged him then I do think it is relevant unless the person said it to knowingly cause trouble then surely it's their choice if they want to say who they shagged?

Agree with VS. The truth is pivotal here.

If he didn't shag you and now says that he did - he is a liar and a fantasist and possibly creepy.

If he did shag you and now says he did then... well, he could have been more diplomatic, but I can't slate him as most of my friends know exactly who I've done what with. It isn't a secret, we talk about our past all the time.

When I started uni I remember there was this bloke, totally wet behind the ears. Anyway, he snogged another student at the disco, and then later on said to his friend 'I've had her'. He didn't actually know that to most people, that would suggest sex .

ps sorry, I read the bit where you said you didn't sleep with him. Am just offering scenario if you had.

solid no he is not yucky at all.

I am just pissed off he discussed it with one of MY friends that he hardly knows. I have no idea how that sort of thing would come up in conv. between 2 40 something blokes in broad daylight when sober!

I suppose this makes me realise I think these things are essentially private, IE drunken snogs/ fumbles that don't ever result in any sort of even half baked relationship!

Drunken ACTUAL shags (as opposed to imagined ones)are private too in my book!

They might be to you but there are two people involved, and the other person has just as much right to talk or not talk about it.