to think that I can RSVP verbally

[Upwind]

rather than going through the faff of sending a formal response to every party invitation? Or have I been terribly rude in replying in person and by email or phone? I do always let the hosts know whether or not I can make it - it just seems absurd to send a card to someone when I will be talking to them anyway. If it was an occasion like a birthday, wedding or christening that I could not attend I would send a card.

It is just that the RSVP thing seems to wind people up so much...

Really? My word, I'm always just grateful for people who do RSVP. I couldn't care less if they did it via a paper plane! I'll take email, phone or verbal any day.

You can R.S.V.P. in whatever medium you like, surely? YANBU.

RSVP - respondez sil vous plait (sp?) which means repsond please so that it what you are doing by phoning, emailing, texting, sending a card, shouting from the roof tops or speaking it imo!

repsond = respond!!

Depends on what it was for. I always do a proper RSVP for a wedding or christening. But for a child's party if I don't know them I would usually write a note on the back of the invitation (Once in the playground a mum said 'we're coming to the party' and I had no idea who she was). or if they give a mobile number then I would text a RSVP.

If there is a RSVP then there is usually a date for when you should do this at the latest. There should also be a list of means of how to RSVP. I usually put address, telephone number (home and mobile), and email address.
Follow the instructions on the invitation is what I would recommend.

For a child's party I think a verbal or infal RSVP (email, text, phone call) is perfectly fine. As others have said I am just grateful for the RSVP itself!

Usually though my DD likes to write her friend her little letter to accept the invite. I leave her to it.

It amazes me how many people don't seem to bother. and the form (phone, text, email, card, letter) doesn't bother me. Just be nice to know numbers!

I went to a party recently where the mum had to send her DH out for extra food and party bags as children turned up not having rsvp'd.

My DS2 had an invitation to a party in Jan that we can't make, and I rang up the other night. She sounded delighted, "thank you so so much for letting me know...etc" I thought it was pretty normal behaviour!

I agree with potplant - depends what its for...

Children's parties are certainly informal (word in the playground, email, text)...

Weddings, Christenings, Formal Events - I would still send a card or a letter...but thats partly because I also believe its a lovely thing to do and probably cheers the host up that they have mail..!!

Thanks all, it seems most of you think it not unreasonable to carry on as I have been! Though in future I will pay some more attention to the RSVP instructions

This was prompted by a sarky comment from a Mum who invited me to her child's party recently. I am still not sure whether it was directed at me but will now assume not... at least until I have a chance to ask her what she thinks RSVPing means!

the person should be grateful you replied imo

RSVP - means reply - so unless there is a note on invitation saying how to reply then that mum is being narky!!

The only thing I'd say is that if you are going to a big event, like a wedding or anniversary party, then RSVPing in writing will be easier for the hosts - it's easy to forget a verbal message and find yourself scrutinising the guest list later on wondering who it was who phoned to tell you they'd be coming. That said, email should be fine as they can still refer back to that.

As others have said, what matters most is that you RSVP - I've lost count of the number of parties for the ds's where I've had no idea who was or wasn't coming - even when it's been at somewhere like a bowling alley!

I like to recieve text RSVP as I am less likely to forget who said they were comming or not.

What everyone else said. I would RSVP in writing for a wedding or similar, but other than that verbal response is fine, email or text even better (in case they're having difficulty keeping track).