Have not had a great day (and its my bday tomorrow too ) but basically will try to give a short version of events.
I am first time mum to a lovely DD (10 months). Was initially a bit precious about her, I am now relaxing in to motherhood and perhaps letting things go that I wouldn't have done a few months ago.
To put a little context in place, I am on a years maternity leave. My mum works full time in a very stressful job (and has poorly parents at the moment) but was a SAHM when I was little.
My DD has had a cold for a week or so. I apply vicks, I give calpol, get up in the night, use the plug in thingy, wrap her up warm etc. Today shopping her nose was running (again) and I had left the wipes in the car outside. My mum pointed this out and I said that I would have to wipe her nose on her coat (gross I know, but we were going within 10 mins and I can wash the coat now, as I am doing in fact). My mum said "oh no she will look like an unloved baby", I corrected her and said "No she will look like a baby with a cold" and she repeated "no, no she will look like no one loves her". I mean FGS!!!!!
So, AIBU to think that thats actually a horrible thing to say?
Secondly, and perhaps more seriously. My GP's are elderly and in poor health. My grandad has spent a month in hospital but is coming home tonight (he isn't looking forward to it because my grandma is completely dependent on care at the moment and he is worried that it will fall to him, currently the family are "sharing" the care).
Today I was witness to a horrible family debate between my mum and her sisters and my grandma where they were very blunt about her future, and all 4 of them ended up in tears. Grandma can be difficult but I really feel for her when they are saying things like "you will end up in care within a month" and "you need to decide whether you want to be here this time next year". (But I know that they are trying to get her to get some independence back)
She needs someone to cook their meals each evening (Meals on wheels doesn't exist in their area) and they won't pay cafe type prices. They are also fussy eaters. My mum has offered to provide meals on 2 nights a week and asked her sisters to do the same but 1 of them has refused, saying that she doesnt want to be tied down with the burden. Do you think this is unreasonable or fair?
They all live within a 6 mile journey of my GP's.
Grandma said that its "payback time" from when they were children, is that an unreasonable thing to say too?! My mum accused of her emotional black mail but I can sort of see where she is coming from (especially having a young baby at the moment)
Arggghhhh, horrible day and the politics of family life.