to be upset by a local paper comment piece saying ADHD is an excuse for bad parenting?

[Villette]

I have been really upset ever since I read a piece in the latest Chichester Observer (my local paper) claiming that we now have yobs breeding yobs and that ADHD is just an excuse for bad parenting.

My son was born with brain damage caused by asphyxiation during labour. He has ADHD because the part of the brain that helps us to concentrate was damaged. He also has short term memory problems and although he is 19 he cannot go out without an adult as he cannot remember where he has to go.

We asked for a referral to child guidance when he was nine and we attended for four years to help us deal with his temper tantrums. One of the characteristics of children born with his type of brain damage (hemiplegia) is that they often are fractious and have a short-fuse.

The comment piece by Keith Newberry also has a go at those who have children with temper tantrums. (Sorry. I can't do links but if you go to the Chichester Observer home page and scroll down you can find the link)

Part of me thinks - just ignore this self-important Wind-Up Merchant. If I respond, I'll just be giving him the reaction he wants.

But the fact is that I am hurt and upset. I gave up a well-paid job that I loved to care for my son. The past years have been tough mentally, physically and financially. I don't want sympathy - just a bit of understanding. I don't think that claiming that ADHD doesn't exist and that children have temper tantrums because they are badly brought up, without recognising that some children may have medical reasons that cause these problems, helps. It just adds to the stigma attached to special needs children and their parents.

Sorry. Rant over. AIBU?

blimey what a prat he is!

post what you have above on the comment.

no respond - he might be looking for a reaction but that kind of ill informed shite is what makes it so difficult for parents/children with adhd (see other thread for poor mother threatened by ignorant parents)

and I always remember a frank skinner sketch re local papers - saying for local you can always substitute the word shite (eg local paper, local artist, local musician).

The Daily Mail has been saying this for years! Uniformed ignoramuses basically..

*oops uninformed, not uniformed!!

No yanbu (of course)
The man is an arse

adhd is not an excuse for bad parenting, it is a genuine condition, and a hard one to deal with. Many people don't understand what adhd IS and how it affects people - they think it means bad behaviour, which isn't the case!! That's like saying autism means someone who can't point.

However, let's be honest here, some 'bad' parents claim their child has adhd as an excuse for the fact that they are out of control due to poor parenting, no discipline, etc.

But having a child that is badly behaved is not adhd, adhd is not about being badly behaved, from what I know, I think it is quite similar to some autistic behaviours as it happens - it's just these parents think it is, iyswim, and they are avoiding responsibility by maintaining their child 'can't help it'.

Unfortunately, when you point out that it is sometimes used as an excuse by some people, you get the people who are affected by the ACTUAL condition, hitting the roof because they think that you are saying ALL people say adhd as an excuse, (which I'm not btw!)

But every time it IS used as an excuse, the people who have real adhd are affected, aren't they? Because a lot of people can't understand the difference.

Education. that's the key. Years ago people would claim autism was an excuse made up by poor parents to explain bad behaviour.