To not want to go to MIL's for christmas day because the other kids drive me insane?

[AbsolutelyFreezing]

She's actually my ex MIL but we still get on great and obviously she's still the kids grandma so we still see lots of her.

Anyway, she has invited us to go to her house on christmas day in the afternoon. She does a buffet thing and all of the family go.

The kids want to go but I REALLY don't. The other kids drive me absolutely nuts.

First we have a 5 year old boy who should have been named Damian. He runs around punching and kicking everyone (including the dog), starting fights, breaking things, people get hurt, people get annoyed and he's SO rude too. The other day I had to go to SIL and he stood there and said to me "What YOU come for??" in a really nasty tone. His older sister just whinges constantly, goes in a mood for the slightest thing (like not winning a game) and throws massive tantrums over nothing.

But the worst ones are the teenagers. They're almost 14 and the girl is so bloody rude and obnoxious. She walks around burping in people's faces, swearing, taking the piss out of everyone, being cheeky and waiting for a response. She's the school bully and brings it home with her. The lad is over sexualised and goes on about sex CONSTANTLY in front of the kids and parents etc.

If we go, I'll get so stressed out within an hour but they'll think I'm being a miserable cow if I don't.

AIBU?

How old are your DCs? If they are small, can you say they haven't been sleeping well or something and say you are all too tired.

I would make any excuse - it sounds like hell.

they're 8 and 10 and when they see MIL they'll say they really wanted to go but I wouldn't let them

Yesterday my 10 year old came home from MIL's and told his younger brother to "suck my hairy c*ck" I said "where did you hear that??" and he said "Jordan says it all the time!"

DS is at an age where he likes to copy teens but I think these two are the wrong ones to be copying!

Be brave and DON'T go. Why do something you hate? If your anything like me for instance, you will be in a shitty mood whilst there and snappy with your own kids and when you get home, be in a shitty mood because you did it for them. The kids lose ultimately don't they?

Surely you'd have a better time at home? Invite your MIL to yours before or after crimbo?

That is EXACTLY what I'm like Cheeset! I'll be in such a foul mood from the minute we get there until the minute the kids go to bed and I probably will end up snapping and taking it out on them when we get home

Have you tried talking to MIL about the effect the other children's behaviour has on your DC? Is it possible that she wants to address it too but needs some back-up?

Wow! Thank God my sister is a JW! But it is only an afternoon. Go on grin and bare it and tell me all about it when you get back. DH goes to Football on Boxing day and I hate shopping, so I will need a good laugh. Can you get a game boy type thing and just play a game all afternoon. Plan a treat for the kids back home so they want to get back home. Dress up like Carmen Miranda and look like your going to have a nervous break down with little twitches and a little tourettes. See what happens next. Come out with odd,bizarre news stories about teenagers and see if anyone believes you.

Nah, forget it. God why do we put ourselves through it? Seriously, stay home, invite people round you get on with and have some xmas cheers instead of suffering, yes suffering the torment of holding your tongue. You'll only be practicing evil 'come-backs' in your head all day of all the things you want to say to those kids and their parents anyway.

Yes unfortunately she see's nothing wrong with it and thinks I'm a bit precious It's all normal behaviour to them, not to me though.

drop the kids off for an hour and pick them up later?
where is exp in all of this? why can't he take them to his mother's while you stay at home and put your feet up for a couple of hours?

can you arrange a prior engagement, so you can say to the kids, "I'd love to go, but I've already told X we'd go to her house, and it would be rude to back out now" ?

i wouldn't go and invite mil to your house as you don't like the language used by some of her other guest. tell her you have her grandchilden to protect from language and behaviour like that.

Rock vs. Hard Place then.

I wouldn't go, personally, but I can see that you are in trouble whatever you decide.

Well? What you gonna do? Are you strong enough to say NO !

I'd be precious with that behaviour and more importantly, it's totally innapropriate behavious on Christmas Day for goodness sake.

tell her straight and dont go. as someone else said invite her to your house but offer to pick her up and take her home. dont put up with bad behaviour from other peoples children in front of yours!