To be slightly annoyed with comments from mil

[Sails]

Pils came round today to see how ds1 is as he isn't well. She then said that in exactly 3 weeks time its her birthday and she wants to spend it with her grandkids. She said us two can tag along as an unnecessary apendage if we want but basicly she want to spend it with her grandsons but we were welcome to tag along if we want! She wanted to spend it at x (local garden centre) where theres sleigh rides christmas lights father christmas etc and she wants to go out for lunch there too. All very nice and I will be more than happy to come along. Its just the repeated comments (I've given the edited abridged version) about how she was spending it with her grandkids we can tag along too etc etc that irritated me. Am I being too sensitive/clouded by other "issues" or am Ii right to have found it abit irritating? Dc are aged 1 and 3 by the way!

tried it she just talks thro ds!

Blimey you are bloody lucky she wants to take the kids out without you there! Take it and run exactly!

Talk to her when ds isn't there?

I WISH my MIL would do this. Or my mum or my dad of my FIL for that matter. How lovely to be banned from coming along. How lovely she wants them to herself for a bit. I swear to God I'd be thrilled if another family member showed this level of interest and gave me a break.

Just go with them then, if you're worried about her falling.

ah, I see

an example of AIBU by stealth

OP, it is helpful to put all the salient points in the original post

otherwise, be prepared for a chorus of "YABFU's"

< sheesh >

Only read the OP, but am positive that I won't be the first to say this:

Drop DC at her house at 8am and run away very fast. Have a fab childfree day with DH and let MIL enjoy her GC.

Don't let her get to you. I get similar comments.

lilredwg, if you just read the OP...

that was your 1st mistake

there was some more crucial info revealed at a later stage

yes, bloody annoying isn't it ?

Ah, just skimmed thread - send DH with DCs and spend the day in peace at home on your own with a good book.

Sounds like MIL is in denial about the falling. Very sad really.

Have you tried looking at this from MIL's point of view? It seems that she dotes on her grandchildren, and craves their company. It must be very sad for her to be told she can't pick them up. OK, she should get the falls checked out but she might be too frightened.

I would talk to her about the falls and try and help her see that there must be an explanation, but that it could be something quite mundane, like an inner ear infection.

The kind thing to do would be to work out ways that she can have contact - including physical contact - with the children, and explain that you want her to have this, but you have to be careful about her carrying them. You could pass them over while she's sitting down, or whatever. This way she wouldn't need to sneak a 'hold' behind your back.

Ok OP, I know you were rushed when you typed the question, but really this was VITAL if you wanted people's opinion! Much better to delay asking the question if can't get all the info down!!!

You need to talk to her - and I don't mean just tell her that she 'can't'pick up your children - she can avoid that. I mean a serious, sit down and talk to each other discussion. She will probably squirm and try to get out of it, but she does need to find out what is wrong with her.

Do make sure you show concern for HER health as well as your children's. Tell her you are worried about her, and that her son is worried about her too. It could be something as simple as a leg that goes a bit funny, but it could be something neurological which needs checking out.

Will any other adult be with her- like fil? i think it sounds like you are being too sensitive and clouded by other issues and I can see why she would want her grandkids all to herself once in a while. I understand the worry of the safety issue but if there was another adult with her that would be fine, surely?