Eugh - this turns out to be quite long, so sorry!
I'm not posting here so you can all tell me that I'm right - I might just be being a bit silly & hormonal, in which case I'd rather know. But if I do have a point, feel free to tell me that too
I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with our first child & it's been a difficult pregnancy so far. Nothing horrific, but I'm still suffering from morning sickness & increasing hip pain (I could barely walk on Friday, although it's much better now, for example) & is generally being quite a difficult experience.
DP & I both go to uni, but my course is far less intensive in terms of contact time - I study English literature, so although I spend hours & hours reading & writing essays, I can do that from home. He's doing Software Development, so needs to spend a lot of time in the computer labs or whatever. He has a really good group of friends there, whereas I don't. I very rarely see the same people on a regular basis & most of them know each other from living in halls, etc. Plus I'm the weird pregnant one, which puts a lot of people off.
We're both a long way from home, but he didn't really have friends back home, whereas I have lots - I just never get to see them because I'm a good couple of hours away, can't drive & have little time & money to throw around at the moment. & when I do go home, I spend most of my time with my family, who I also miss heaps.
Basically, I'm really homesick & lonely & not having a great time of it.
We've been having a lot of relationship issues recently - last week we went 3 days without a huge argument & that seemed like ages. He's been having quite a few problems with controlling his temper recently, which really hasn't helped. He hasn't hit me or anything like that, but I can see the possibility of it escalating into something nasty.
He used to do karate, but hasn't done it for quite a while now - at least a year, but I'm almost sure it's more than that. I've lost track. But he's decided that he wants to take up Thai boxing instead, because they don't do 'his' karate around here. He says that he thinks that it'll help with his aggression. I don't know if it will or not? If it does, then obviously that's a very good thing.
The thing that bothers me is that it's 3 nights a week & I know that that's just going to mean 3 nights of me sitting in the flat by myself whilst he's out having fun. & in the not-very-distant future, me looking after the baby alone for that time when he's already had a lot more time away from home with his course.
I've said that he can do it & I know that I'm not in a position to say that he can't. It's his life & I don't want to control him. I also know that it's a fair exchange if it puts him in a better mood. But I still feel a bit resentful that he's off doing something else that he loves & will leave me on my own even more than I already am.
That suddenly sounds really needy I'm also concerned that he'll get himself really hurt & be out of action for a while meaning that I'll have to pick up even more responsibility at home.
I think I'd mind less if he could see why I'm a bit envious, but he can't. I also think I'm probably about to get flamed & told to stop being so childish, but I'm wondering if it's at least normal for me to feel this way, even if it isn't reasonable, if you see what I mean?