OK here's a thing I did today that seemed perfectly normal to me and yet..... so tell me what your reaction is

[harpsichordcarrier]

I was in a ladies loo in a pub. I was waiting outside the cubicle and out comes a boy, probably 6 or 7, on his own. He said "Oh I forgot to flush" but it was too high for him to reach and I went in the cubicle with him to help. I started chatting to him, and reminded him to wash his hands (it had been a sitting down occasion ). Again, he couldn't reach so I got some soap for him and reached some hand towels for him too, and helped him to sort himself out.

was this appropriate?

Yes
I would have done same.
Why do you ask?

I think so if his mum wasn't about

of course, why wouldn't it be?

as long as you're female it sounds fine

As long as "sort himself out" only went as far as washing hands, not pulling up trousers!

Sounds normal to me.

Of course..I would have done the same. Why, did his mum come in all harridan like and accuse you of being a soap pervert?

def right to help. i have no exp of toileting with boys, am normallyon my own with dd and we go in together tho.

i would have helped, but would have wondered where mum or dad was tbh.

i don't understand

did his mum have a go at you?

Ian't it sad that our society is at a point where a perfectly caring, law abiding person like you, harpsichordcarrier, has to question her actions like this?

It's perfectly natural and motherly.... and yet, and yet..

My immediate response would be the same as yours, and then I would think about the possible ramifications / allegations / conclusions and take a big step back. Really sad, but true.

yes, IMO it was appropriate, I would have helped too.
What makes you ask?

I'd be grateful to you and slightly embarrassed that we'd had to impose on someone else.

no, no-one had a go at me.
but when I came out of the loo I suddenly felt a bit shifty, imagining if he has said anything to his mother.
"a nice lady helped me in the loo"

well, if it was my ds I would have been pleased that someone took time out to help

and if he had???

Not quite sure what you would have to feel shifty about.

tbh, it wouldn't occur to me for one second that anyone would have an issue with this. Or with a man helping out, come to that. I wouldn't even think about it.

I doubt he'd have said anything to his parents.Washing hands doesn't stay in boys' minds for very long.

yeah, sounds fine. I wonder why he was alone in the ladies though?

If he was with his mum, surely she would have taken him to ladies or let him go to gents alone, not sent him into ladies while she waited outside? If with dad, he would have taken him to gents, surely? Not sent him to ladies and waited outside?

I realise it doesn't actually matter, of course

If they are sending him in there on his own they are probably confident enough about him meeting nice people like you. I imagine some fussy parents might freak, but you shouldn't let them stop you from being a caring person.

yes good point. if they were fussy, they wouldn't send him in on his own.

good point hecate, my DS wouldn't go in the ladies on his own, he's 7, he'd go in the gents and feel Grown Up for going on his own.

Only read the op as I think I need to be unbiased.
so
you did the right thing

I had the same extremely shifty experience in a McDonalds, years before having kids. A little boy, of maybe 3 years og age came in to the ladies, told me he needed to wee, but couldnt open his pants and could I please help him. I asked him where his mum was and he said "out there", so I asked if she wasnt helping him, and he said "no, she asked me to manage myself".

I said "sure" and undid his buttons, rather shocked that a mum wouldnt help her young son to the loo.

Then I fled the place, imagining being arrested for undoing the pants of a minor....