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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take the dummie away!?

16 replies

goldilocksandmylittlebear · 21/11/2008 20:11

My DS has just turned 1 and has suddenly become VERY attached to his dummie. He goes and gets ut, settle him to sleep, gives him comfort.

We had never intended to have one as I hate seeing babies walking around with them in their mouths but.........one thing has led to another and now he is walking and......

Eak! Is it too late, shall I wait till he can understand, do it slowly, take it straight away???????

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 21/11/2008 20:12

If he only has it to sleep I don't see the problem

At his age it's lovely that he knows how to settle and comfort himself

missmapp · 21/11/2008 20:22

This sounds just like ds2, he is 14mths and far more attached to his dummy than ds1. ive never liked dummies but loved my sleep too much, so gave in to ds1 at 6 wks! Both had them for sleep only and ds1 gave his up at about 16mths and has never looked back, but ds2 is far more attached, looking for it in the day )tho' I dont give it to him unless its a bad day) and I cant see him giving it up himself. Going cold turkey seems too hard, so was htinking of waiting until he was 2 and doing the ' dummy is going back to the babies now' thing, but dont have much hope that it will be a peaceful transfer! Hope you have better luck than me!

Original poster
goldilocksandmylittlebear · 21/11/2008 20:22

It is really sweet! Off he goes to fetch his blanket and dummy!

OP posts:
Original poster
goldilocksandmylittlebear · 21/11/2008 20:24

They don't really cause speech and teeth probelms do they? They are othadontic (sp?) ones and its not in all day long!

OP posts:
jojosmaman · 21/11/2008 20:24

My ds is 21mths and still has his dodo and taggie for sleeps but it really doesnt bother me, in fact its quite useful as he knows as soon as he has these two it is nap/ bed time and he immediately gets in to "the zone"! I did have to make a point when he was about your ds's age of taking it off him when he wakes up as if it was up to him he'd have it hanging from his lips all day!

thisisyesterday · 21/11/2008 20:25

I think it's wrong to take away a dummy if a child gains real comfort from it.
ds1 had one and was very, very, very attached to it., he gave it up when he was 3, with no fuss at all.

i think it would be very upsetting for a one year old to suddenly lose the thing that comforts him every night and helps him sleep

missmapp · 21/11/2008 20:25

Think they can do if used too much, but ds1 never had any problems with speech(he is 3.7 now) but only used dummies for sleeping, dont worry too much, 1 is still very young

thisisyesterday · 21/11/2008 20:26

ds1's dentist has never mentioned anything about his teeth. so am presuming she can't tell he had a dummy til he was 3! lol
and he talks beautifully, and non-stop.

all anecdotal of course, but IME it hasn't caused any problems

notnowbernard · 21/11/2008 20:26

I don't have general answer re teeth/speech thing

But dd1 had a dummy til she was 3 (sleep only from about 1ish) and speech and teeth fine

DD2 is 27m has a dummy (sleep/illness) speech great and teeth seem to be fine so far

Original poster
goldilocksandmylittlebear · 21/11/2008 20:27

Your right thisis! He would be heart broken! I can't do it. I might just try keeping out of eye shot during the day for short periods and build up.

OP posts:
FrostyTheSnowgirl · 21/11/2008 20:28

I had planned on doing this with my ds in 2 weeks when he turns 2! I was going to just take it off him completely and tell him santa was taking it in exchange for presents (SOOOOO CRUEL)!!

I've now decided to cut it out slowly ie restrict it only to sleep times.

I have to admit I love it when he goes and gets his dummy and cushion he looks so sweet and its easier to forget how quickly he is growing up

OlaMamas · 21/11/2008 20:28

I totally felt the same as you Goldilocks as far as hating seeing babies walking around with dumies. But now have a bigger problem as my DS1 (Now 3) is still so attached to his dummy and seems to be getting worse! Fell pregnant when he was 1 when I was starting to think about taking it from him and didn't have the heart due to changes afoot. Then a few months before he was 2 we were moving him into a "big boy bedroom" and a bed so didn't seem fair to take from him something that gave him comfort! Then obviously a new baby brother came along and the time was not right then. About 6 months ago we talked about just having it for bedtime which upset him so much that he would find dummies and hide them so he knew where he could find them or I would find him hiding somewhere in the house sucking furiously on a dummy! Decided maybe he wasn't ready to give it up! Know going down the route of Santa taking all the dummies in the house and swopping them for a special pressie.... but this will mean taking them from my 14 month old DS2 or DS1 will just take DS1's from his mouth! This is why we have been unable to get rid so far!!!! I would be stronger and say no if they weren't soooo hard work and sometimes it is easier to give in for a quiet life!!!! Know its not right but for sanity.... it occasionally helps! Well what a waffle....spose what I'm trying to say is that I wish I had taken the plunge and done it sooner...

thisisyesterday · 21/11/2008 20:35

i feel a bit like I do about breastfeeding. ds2 gains immense comfort from feeding, and I am happy to do it until he is ready to stop.

ds1 wasn't breastfed, and so dummy was his substitute, and I didn't feel it was right to take that away before he was ready to do it. my feeling is that it may create more problems than it solves, although maybe less obvious ones? there has got to be some effect on a small child if an object they desire and need so badly is suddenly taken away? i dunno. that's just how I feel about it.

I'd have been happy for ds1 to have his for longer had he needed it. he asks for it now sometimes and he is allowed one of his brothers, but he usually forgets about it pretty soon.

we had a little bag by his bed and when he got up in the morning he had to put the dummy in it. and he'd then have it when he went to bed at night.
he had it in the dayt if he was unwell or upset or anything though

Original poster
goldilocksandmylittlebear · 21/11/2008 20:38

OlaMamas you DS1 sounds soooooooooo lovely! He is very cleaver hidding them! That made me laugh out loud! Bless him!
I bet when he starts nursery he will give it up anyway?

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OlaMamas · 21/11/2008 20:57

He is a real character my DS1! He goes to nursery 2 mornings a week now but when there...too cool for school! Won't have a dummy as to quote him "Dummies are for Babies" until he gets in the car when I pick him up and then its ok!

Portofino · 21/11/2008 21:06

From 2.5 - when dd went to Kindergarten, she only had a dummy at night. It got to the point where only ONE dummy acceptable - and despite various attempts to buy a duplicate, I decided enough was enough from a pure hygiene point of view.

So the dummy fairy came and brought her a pressie in exchange. I expected big time trouble for a few nights at least, but she seemed to accept it really easily. At 4.5 though it's only recently that she will sleep without "flopsy" the rag thing...

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