To not let my ds go to a pantomime 70 miles even though my Aunt has booked and paid for the tickets?......

[DrNortherner]

OK. My auntie lives in Hull. My Mum lives in Teesside and I live in Harrogate.

My auntie is Hull has booked tickets to an evening 7pm performance to see a panto in Hull in January. She is treating my Gran, my Mum, plus another aunt and her 3 grandchildren.

My other aunt is driving from Teesside taking her 3 grandkids and my Gran so there is no room in teh car for my Mum.

My Mum does not drive, so between them they have decided that My Mum will get train/buss from Teesside to Hull and I can either take ds to my mum's and he will get the bus with her or I drive ds to Hull and meet my mum there.

I can either wander around Hull or come home, only to set off and pick ds up again later.

It all seems TOTALL impractical to me and I have said ds won't be going. My Mum is upset, saying my aunt will lose money and it is throwing kindess in her face.

She didn't even consult me before booking it.

So, AIBU?

No.

They should have asked before booking the tickets. If there is no way for your son to get there that is managable then say no.

Can you stay at your mum's?

I can stay at my Mum's but it's not really gping to help. That means I drive from Harroagte to Teesside, collect my mum, drive to Hull for panto. I kill 2/3 hours in Hull at 7pm in January the drive from Hull to Teesside to take my mum home and stay the night there.

Seems a real trek for a bloody panto.

How old is your DS?

Would it be possible for you to drive him to your mums. Then your mum take him on the bus/train to Pantomime.

You have a couple of hours chilling out at your mum's, peace & quiet...then drive up to Hull to collet them both when it finishes (to save your mum & DS having to come back on the bus/train late at night)

Then either stay the night at your mums or drop your mum home and drive home.

I don't know how far it is between your mums and Hull, so I'm sorry if that is a comlete nightmare?!

I do think they should've asked you before booking tickets, but what's done is done so to keep the peace and everyone happy at least that way DS doesn;t miss out and gets an exciting bustarin ride with your mum and you get a couple of kid free chill out hours at your mums?!

Why can't you go to the panto as well? You could stay the night at your mums with ds.

No, no, send your mum on the bus with DS having driven him to her house, like you say in your OP

It's just over 1 hour from my hous to Mums

And about 2 hour 20 from My Mums to Hull, and that's by car, it will take them ages by bus...

AS I used to live in Teesside - no way would I want to those journies, they're a complete pain.

Right. Okay. It's totally impractical isn't it. Will your DS like the panto? If he will, can you get a Travelodge nearby and make an adventure of it? If not, don't bother, I'd say.

How old is he anyway, will he be ok with the late night?

YANBU - she isn't doing you a kindness if it involves you driving across the north of england for 3 hours. It is totally impractical.

Explain how impossible this is, invite her to tea at yours on another day and offer to find someone to take your ds place.

YADNBU. I don't think your Aunty thought this out very well! You, your mum and your ds won't even get back home til about Midnight!!

My ds is 6. Plus he is goping to our local panto the day before this one with his other Gran and his 2 cousins!

It was a bit strange not to consult you first. In your position, I would probably drive DS straight to the panto and wait in the car until he comes out and drive back home with him.

Having said that, I have no idea whatsoever of the distance/time between Harrogate and Hull [ignorant].

It's about 1.5 hours from my house to Hull.

Plus I've never driven to Hull before, and try to avoi driving on strange/unkown routes in teh dark if I can....[wuss]

And, I'd be uncomfortable allowing my mum to travel alone from Hull back home late at night.

YANBU

They should have checked with you first, and perhaps looked at a map. It will be a nightmare to get them there and then your poor DS will be too knackered to even enjoy the panto.

Especially if he has been to one already.

I bet they could get one of the other grandchildren's friends to take the ticket.

Shame for your mum though, could you arrange for her to go through to her sisters another time with your DS? She probably wants to show him off.

Why doesn't your mum come to you, you all drive to Hull, then back and your mum can stay with you and go home the next day?

Oh yes CD that is the best idea so far. However, my mum will expect me to collect her and bring her to mine then take her home the next day. It is a lot of schlepping around on my last weekend of the festive break before I go back to work.

Plus my folks are coming to us for xmas and we are collecting them and taking them home.

I think I'll have to go with CD's suggesstion to keep teh peace.

Thansk for teh sdvice guys

there's a lovely hotel in Hull.. its either a Crowne Plaza or a Hilton, but it has a swimming pool etc. Could you and your mum and DS stay there. You could enjoy swim, sauna, peaceful meal etc whilst they are at the panto.

Nah - bugger it. Say no!

i fail to see why you should contemplate forking out for a hotel- some gift taht would turn out to be.

agree that they shouldve looked at the map.

and why did they not get YOU a ticket, if other adults are going? seems very ill thought out.

moon, that sounded like i was attacking your suggestion- i didnt intend to!

Your poor mother! It is totally impractical, and while it is kind of your aunt to want to shout so many people to the panto, she really should have better considered the practicalities.

It sounds like you really need another driver, for your mum and your DS

Was it ever an option for you to go too?

She should definitely have consulted with you.

How keen are your mum and ds anyway?

can't your mum stay with your Aunt for a while & your ds just not go?