to get a sinking feeling whenever someone begins a sentence "I'm not racist, but..."

[deaconblue]

twice in a couple of weeks people I really like have begun like this and completed their sentence with, if not racist, certainly prejudiced statements. I often wish I could just leg it out of the room when I hear a sentence beginning with that phrase.

i agree completely

it is a heart sink moment

do you not feel brave enough to challenge them?? i mean that nicely BTW as it can be intimidating to disagree

oh, completely - anyone who says that invariably is. i just give sour looks and make it very clear i don't want to hear any more. and challenge what they say, depending on the situation

the one yesterday was more stereotyping "my midwife was black, they seem to always be really stroppy" total nonsense but I just let it go. I tend to disagree with an example of when someone was not at all as they suggest rather than openly challenge (not good at confrontation but I know I should)

goodness i haven't heard anyone say that in a long time. Surely there can't be many people left alive who don't realise it's a moronic and unacceptable thing to say?

Me too.

Did you see that racist FaceBook group (called 'for all who hate packies') a few weeks back? The guy who started it wrote "this group is NOT racist it is for anyone who shares this common interest. mabey you yourslef are a packie and are unhappy/ashamed of that... well this is the group for you."

Heartsink phrase indeed.

The second half of the sentence is always "but I am really".

even worse when they also say "I don't care if people are black, white, blue or green but..."

that and "some of my best friends are black"

but how does one preface any social commentary that involves a negative connotation these days when so many people are looking to cry racism/biggotry/xenophobia?

...followed by "some of my best friends are black, and they all thing Jim Davidson is hilarious....."

you can make negative social commentary, as long as you show a balanced view - racists don't usually haven't bothered to find out the positives about the people they dislike

meant to say "racists usually haven't bothered..."

AnarchyAunt, do you know what happened with that group? The last I heard the police were investigating.

In the UK do you get the "I am not racialist but..." comment?

That always made my heart sink even further. Anyone who doesn't even know how to say the word was inevitably a raving pro-Apartheid person who thought all black people should castrated. sigh.

Someone did this to me the other day. 'I'm not racist but... blah blah blah blah' when actually the second half wasn't really anything to do with race. It was quite confusing as I am used to being on automatic stance of 'but that was racist' and instead was trying to point out what the problem actually was and that it had nothing to do with the ethnicity of the person in question.

Have heard 'I'm not racist...' so many times and it's the first time that's happened!!

Where the hell does the words racialist come from? I have been hearing it a lot recently (UK) and have never before. What does it actually bloomin' mean?

My friend said this the other day "I'm not being racist and I know he must have got a degree but don't you think Dr X is always in a mood when you see him"

I did ask why she thought the fact he is indian has anything to do with him being moody and its because the english doctors seem happier.

laweaselmys - I think "racialist" is the English English word, but the US term "racist" has overtaken it as common usage. That's why older people tend to be the ones saying "racialist".

I'm sure a more knowledgeable pedant than me would know for sure.

It is just as simple to state that you do not like chinese food as it is to say I can't stand mashed potatoes. It only does becaome racist with the stupid "I am not racist but..." as if you hade to find some sort of excuse for culinary taste.

I do relly HAVE a black friend does that make me a racist???????

My mate (who is half Jamaican) used to say all the time

''I'm not racist...

I have a coloured telly''

I love the word 'racialist'. It's like the word 'mentalist'. It always makes me think of Alan Partridge.

"you can make negative social commentary, as long as you show a balanced view - racists don't usually haven't bothered to find out the positives about the people they dislike "

fair point.

and surely people only use racialist when being satirical/ironic about it's overuse in todays soceity. i've never met someone who thinks that's th actual word. it's from ali g no?

On the very very outer distant edge of my social circle is a particularly bonkers conservative MP who uses the word "Homosexualist"!

how about "I'm not racist

but I do prefer sack to egg-and-spoon"?

as the therapists' phrase goes:

It's all bullsit before the 'but'