To expect Social Services to help us out?

[superflybaby]

Me & DP have a 2.5yo DD, we both work full time
We live in a 2 bed house, no extra space & no extra money floating around.
DP has 2 DD's 11yo & 10yo who's mother has been abusing alcohol for ages & has now been sectioned under the mental health act.
They are now living with us but go to school miles away.
Social Services just seem to be concerned with their Mother, not with us having to cope with a sudden change in circumstances.

Is it because we work? Why won't they help us? they just seem intent on making life as difficult and hellish for us as possible. All we ask is for a letter for proof to the CSA to stop payments to their Mother & allow us to claim their Child benefit & to assist with priortising their access to local school places - IT ISN'T FU**ING MUCH TO EXPECT IS IT???

Social Services are unresponsive, rude & unrelaible. We just want to wash our hands of them and move on with our lives, but they just make things so damn difficult!!!!GRRRRRRR

Agree you have a huge family crisis on your hands in cramped accommodation - it must be very hard for ALL of you and yes, you would think social services would help you out financially. I assume the other option would have been to have them put with foster carers? Is this an option if it's likely to be a long term thing or does DP not want this, or can other family have them?

However, am not sure about your last sentence, is it your DPs kids you want to wash your hands of and move on, or social services?! Hope it's the latter otherwise you are def BU.

You just need to calmly and repeatedly keep on at them explaining the circumstances. Good luck

Perhaps you could contact them and say that because X, Y, Z has not been addressed, it is impossible for you to cope and unless it is sorted, you are going to have to insist that SS take the children into foster care.

Now, before you panic I suggest this NOT because you want this to happen, but because it lights a fire under ss and they might actually help you then! (it costs more otherwise, you see)

Do you think?

What you are asking for seem like incredibly simple and reasonable requests, so I agree, they should be helping you out with those issues and I'm pee'd off on your behalf that they aren't.

YABVU

well no actually yanbu but ss are shite

we cant get any help with our sn duo, even when justa sking for a respite carer the day i went into labour fgs

If you write your concerns to them IME theyr espond as the letter gets logged. Ony way you'll get even that ime.

Sorry you're going through this, hoe its sorted soon.

call them every day

may be wrong but over here in NI parents just apply for child benefit and the benefit people then approach ss for confirmation.

child benefit shouldn't be reliant on ss so go ahead and apply.

Just cancel the maintenance payments and send a letter to all parties stating you have done this, and why.

ss are useless. have you thought about applying for residence with an interim residence order on the basis that mother may get out of hospital and remove the children? may be a long shot but you never know. Also if DP has parental responsibility he can change their schools if he wants to somewhere closer. if you threaten ss that you cant afford to keep them they will probably call your bluff and place the children in foster care. i would see a solicitor who can write a letter to ss asking for financial assistance to buy x, y and z and assistance with travel arrangements until kids have changed school.

loobeylou no it is not the DC's we want to wash our hands of, it is SS.

DP is applying for residency order, legal advice has been sought but everything is moving so slowly and SS just keep on being slack and delaying things further.

Just at wits end. It's crap the poor kids have to sleep on a sofa bed in our living room until we scarpe enough money together through loans etc to extend our home.

I feel like no one gives a crap whether you can cope or not, if you have a job and appear to be half way normal then you are given no help whatsoever.

Could you request a meeting at your house with SS? in a letter (so you have proof later)So they can see the conditions the children are living? Could you not discuss the problems, distress etc..the kids are having? Write to all parties and cancel maintenance? I'm sorry your going through this. I think you are right if your half way normal and hard working you get ignored and get little or no help.

Which SS department is it? Is it the Children and Families Department? Or is it the Department who look after mum?

The lady from Children & Families promised us support but so far (more than a month later) we have had none. It's all promises and sweeteners that do not materialise.

Case worker for family (who really is only concerned with the Mother) is a wet blanket and has let things get really bad for the kids before notifying us there was even an issue. He claims he was kept in the dark too, by the Mother & her family.

"Social Services are unresponsive, rude & unrelaible."

Yep pretty much sums up my experience of them tbh.

Either do as hecate suggests or submit a formal complaint (you can usually do it from your council website). It's the only way I've ever managed to get anywhere with them.