To think this woman is being vile

[Stefka]

My DH and I used to run a pub which we lived above. When we decided to move on another couple took over - that was three years ago.

Yesterday I realised that I had stupidly not updated my paypal account and that the thing I had bought on ebay had gone to our old address at the pub. I called this morning and said I was so sorry for the inconvenience and to ask if they could just put it to the side and we would send someone round to pick it up.

The woman now running the pub was so horrible to me I am still shaking! She snapped that no parcel had been delivered (funny that as I had never mentioned it was a parcel to her and the guy from ebay has proof of posting). She then said in a really nasty tone of voice 'You haven't lived here for three years, why would you have something delivered here' which was said as an accusation - as if I was up to something. I aplogised again and explained that I just had not used my ebay account for so long and that it was totally my fault for being disorganised. I said I would check again in a couple of days and thanked her. She snapped back fine and hung up.

I feel so horrible after talking to her. She was so unpleasant. I realise it was my fault for not checking my address but it was an honest mistake. I don't expect her to repost it - just put it to the side and let someone pick it up. I am pretty sure though she already has it and that I will never see it. One of the girls who used to work there with us had been collecting our post when we first moved and she said that this woman would take it from her saying she would pass it on which was impossible as she didn't even know where we lived.

I feel really upset at this - I don't understand why people have to be so unpleasant. I am also gutted because I am 99% sure I will never see the thing I bought.

YANBU. She sounds a cow. Is there any other way of contacting her, e.g. email? Otherwise, you may be right and you might have to write off the item. Your mistake, but her unreasonableness and lack of cooperation.

hmmm, I'm not sure whether I'd describe that behaviour as unpleasant, did she shout or swear? She as abrupt though, but then again, some people are. Do you know her, because if you don't it could be that she is just like this.

Proof of posting is not proof of delivery and things are very busy at the PO this time of year.

So, in short I think YABU - are you really shaking because someone snapped at you LOL. You must have led a very sheltered life

YANBU - she is vile!
Am I right in assuming that the post that was taken off the other woman was never forwarded to you by her? If so, then she has effectively stolen your post and seemingly appears to be doing the same ref this parcel. This needs to be pointed out to her. Was the parcel from ebay something that she would have use of and expensive? You need to perhaps write to her and demand that she contact you when it arrives so you can arrange collection. Preferable to write and state what is happening rather than have another unpleasant telephone call with her.

it doesn't take any more effort to be nice than to be nasty

YANBU

Sounds very unpleasant to me.

I am a bit too sensitive that is true. I just hate it when people are nasty. It was just her tone of voice, it was really nasty - I was being really polite and nice. I know it is totally my own fault though. I know we won't get it back as she has kept our post in the past. Not sure why she did it though - it's all a bit odd.

It's a tool for DH so I doubt she would have much use for it. You never know though. No the other post was never forwarded to us. We had specifically asked our friend to pick it up for us while she was still working there.

Stefka yanbu ,

we moved house when I was a child and the new owner kept our post. My dad sent the polive round to collect it as technically it is illegal . Sounds as if she has kept it and that is why she is on the defensive. I think if you have ran a pub you haven't lead a sheltered life
Depending on the value I would take this further

Do a crap, put it in a little shoebox, gift wrap it and send it to her but with your name on it.

That'll teach her to open your stuff and keep it..

OMG that made me snort with laughter! I will have to tell DH that one. Thanks - that's cheered me up!

actually you could send a parcel, not containing crap, but containing a note that says "You have stolen my post and as you have not returned this letter to me I am now calling the police".

trap her good.

Do it - what an utter bitch. What goes around comes around though. You sound lovely btw, and any normal person would happily put a parcel aside ffs x

She is VILE!

It is an offence to open or keep, somebody elses post, not sure if it applys if it has gone to the wrong address, but if it has your name on it i think it might, speak to the parcel service company and see if it was definately delivered, maybe they can contact the police on your behalf?

Well, YANBU she was a psycho hose beast BUT

Three years?? YABU in that respect.

She is being horrid.

oh no, what was it?

send dp round in a few days to pick it up, say that you have proof it was delivered. did it need signing for?

It was something for DH's work. It's a London pub and we are up in Scotland now so we can't go round ourselves. I am very cross with myself for not double checking the address on my paypal account - not used the thing for so long I just assumed I had updated it already.

Thank you for all your support, it has made me feel much better! Also psycho hose beast is a great name!

The Paypal mistake happened to my friend and she also lost her item.
She is most likely embarrassed that she opened the item.
Send a email or letter asking for item to be given to the person collecting it ad you have proof of postage and if the item has gone missing in the post it will need investigating.
The way she has acted isn't very nice at all - don't let her bother you. Some people just have bad attitudes.

If she is running a pub then she is probably feeling a bit miserable just now as her appalling personality won't exactly be pulling in the punters will it?

If you don't get your parcel within a few days ring again and tell her that the police are investigating.

YADNBU. Was it recorded / signed for delivery? I would call her in a couple of days and again up to a week after the seller posted it and if she continues to say that it is not there I would then tell her that you are going to report it as lost in the post then as clearly this has either happened or she has nicked it. If it is recorded I am pretty sure you can ask to see the record of who signed for it - if she has signed for it on your behalf despite knowing you are no longer there (I wouldn't do this - I would tell the postie that the person didn't live here and to return to sender) and then telling you it hasn't arrived that is theft. I would casually mention something along these lines to her when you call - not in a way that is directly accusing her but just letting her know that you are not going to drop it.

Have to say that I have been throwing letters away that come for people who lived here before us (nearly 5 years ago now) as I know they have moved again and no idea where to. Also people who lived here before that.

But if it was a parcel / recorded / looked important I woudlreturn to sender - I am pretty sure that the stuff still coming is junk mail.

Has seller definately posted it? Maybe you could get in touch with them and check. Also, when you buy things on ebay the seller gets your address direct from ebay not paypal, does your ebay account have your new address on?

Just heard back from the very nice ebay seller who has proof of posting. He says you can get forms from the post office and that if they are filled in you can claim compensation so that at least gives me something to say to her when I call again. I will check my ebay account address too - thanks for letting me know that!