to expect my children not to whine and complain when I take them out for what I thought was a treat??

[IlanaK]

My boys are 7 and 4 (plus the baby who did not whine or complain ). This afternoon I took them to the winter festival of my village (Marylebone village in central london!) It was the turnig on of the christmas lights and they had stalls, fake snow, a music stage etc. I had promised them a mince pie which I bought on arrival (£1 each) and then they had the unexpected bonus that they were handing out proper light up wands (for a small donation to charity) so they each got one. Enough for any child?? Oh no! I walked around with them and stoped to listen to a brass band - cue complaining children. We moved on for a bit and listend to choirs on the stage - cue more complaining children. I bought them some cake each so they were happy for a while. There was a bit of time before the lights being turned on and I stopped to feed the baby. My eldest complained loads about wanting more food despite me explaining that it all cost money and that we would be having dinner soon. We went to listen to the stage show again and wait for the lights to be turned on and the fireworks - loads mroe complaining.

Now, my kids are generally well behaved but am I being unreasonable to feel so disappointed that what should have been a treat was "not enough" for them? I can almost excuse my 4 year old, but my 7 year old?

hmmm I do know what you mean. but then again, was it really a treat for them, or for you?

I suspect that at 7 I too would not have been overly impressed with brass bands and choirs. and would also have been very tempted by all the edible goodies around.

I would however have a chat with them about how if someone does something nice for you (ie, take you out) then it isn't very kind to complain about it because they might not want to take you again!

it is hard to know what they will enjoy. i guess it didnt quite hit the mark this time.maybe next year 7 yr old will enjoy more. i am quite though as i love Marylebone in london and went there for a meal on our wedding anniversary i like it so much ! sounds wonderful. maybe just a tired day today or something....yanbu to be disappointed but maybe we need to not put our expecatations on our kids and just enjoy it when we hit on something that they love.

lol weird how they do this isn't it? My ds1 reacted with impatient distain when we took him to the circus this summer.
I have no useful advice, I would have found it irritating too, but I think it's probalby just kids for you, they LOVE to whine....

Mine do this too. Spent a fortune at Chessington World of Adventures over half term, had a fabulous time and my 7yo screamed all the way home because he hadn't won a s*dding Spongebob toy on the overly expensive and overly difficult side show thing.

var disappointing for you. I find the cold can spoil this sort of outing. Was it too cold to stand about for any length of time?

Tell 'em to stop mithering

It was actually exceptionally mild so that was not it. Perhaps my expectations are too high.

OMG I was there this afternoon and it was so lovely! I wished I'd brought the children with me, and now I'm glad I didn't Drives you mad when they whinge, doesn't it? It's just unfortunate I suppose, but I sympathise...

I thought the snow was particularly fab. Glad I enjoyed it with my mum (had lunch together) and no whinging kids

My employer paid for everyone to go to the Circus last weekend as the Kids "End of Year treat.

My dd moaned loads and fidgeted, when queuing, when sitting, at half time, when queuing to leave, about the present they gave her at the end....

....and has talked about nothing else since, and how fantastic it was....and can she have a Playmobil Big Top and Acrobats...and some lions...etc etc

What do you do?

mabanana - I thought there must have been a few mumsnetters there!

I thought it was lovely and really wanted to say by the stage more than we did. I just felt let down by the kids. We went to the summer fair this year and they loved that, but it had lots of rides and stuff for them.

that does sound a bit boring tbh. a choir, a brass band, no food except for a mince pie.

To be fair, we were only there for a bit over an hour as I knew they would not have staying power. I bought them the mince pie right away. We walked around and oohed and aahed at the trees and stuff. I thought the brass band was good. The stage was really well done with lights and stuff. There was a lot to see including the fake snow. I bought them a cake later too - so not just the mince pie. Two treats in the space of an hour is more than they would normally get. And the light up star wands were fabulous and a real treat.

yup...boring - sorry

My own mother banged on for years about how once when she took my sis and I to the circus (we didn't get treats often as we didn't have much money) we did nothing but whinge about getting candyfloss and food. I am now very about it as my own DC do the same sometimes and it drives me NUTS.

Today when I took them to the soft play centre and upon entering (at a cost of £7.50 for the pair of them) they immediately started banging on about wanting money to put in the sweet/soft toy/ride - I issued a very strict edict that if they asked for one thing that involved extra money we would be leaving immediately. It worked.

Boring - really??? Wow - what do kids expect these days then?

No! Not boring at all. Giant moomintrolls walking about, huge pantomime reindeers, Santa's grotto, stalls, music, being out late in the spooky dark. Loads of bubbles, fake snow falling, food. A proper blooming treat. Modern ungrateful kids, eh?

Oh, and the lights going on too.

sorry if all that was mentioned was choir, bras band and mince pie I would be bored after 5 mins let alone my dcs

boring - pah. Is it heck.

christmas lights, stalls, fake snow, light up wands

get over

Thanks mabanana for backing me up! I thought it was lovely. We did not do the grotto as the queue was so long. I did give the dss the choice, but they didn't want to queue. We go to Harrods grotto every year anyway so they are not missing out.

i think that what annoyed me most was looking around at other families whose kids seemed to be enjoying it.

Now, I know that I could have bought them a continuous stream of treats (which would have cost me a fortune there - mulled wine for me cost £3!). But I should not have to do that - 2 treats seemed enough.

Oh! I remember years of my nephew whining. It drove me bananas. He is now my emergency child-minder. It's strange he loves me to pieces but had moments of being a real brat. He's 21 now. As I couldn't smack him, I vowed that I would turn up at one of his adult parties as Carmen Miranda with fruit in my hair and big red lips. The thought kept me sane. Will do it for his summer party this year. Could you put it down to them being tired, pour your self a Baileys and eat another mince pie.

What is most galling is I couldn't eat any of the treats as I am dairy free due to ds3 breastfeeding! So not only was I buying them treats that I could not eat, but they were still complaining!

sometimes they just get into a whingey mood, I think. I can understand your disappointment. It was so lovely and I imagined taking the kids and seeing them enjoy it as I did, so I would have felt as frustrated as you. As it was, my mum loved it!

Perhaps that was my mistake - I should have taken my mum and left the kids at home!