How oftern do you see your PILs? How much is reasonable?

[Rubysmom08]

Just wondered as we are expected to go round every weekend. I tend to duck out on most occassions but that does mean time without dd and dh but on plus side time for me- but every weekend ... plus always their house never want to actually go anywhere.

Just wondered what you do? Obviously appreciate that some people live some distance for their ILs (lucky lucky bastards) but for people that live approx 10 min drive

I see my PIL's about twice a year, because they live 6 hours away lol.

we visit my parents every sunday for sunday dinner though

2-3 times a month? Luckily MIL has very busy life so isn't able to accommodate us every weekend. Could see FIL happily every week as he is very easy going (they are divorced).

Every weekend is too much IMO.

God. Every weekend? They're having a laugh! Do you not have friends you'd rather see? I think once a month is reasonable given you live ten mins away.

I see PIL perhaps slightly more than every quarter - they live 200 miles away. I'm very glad about that.

My in laws are 3 miles away but not terribly interested in their only grandchild...we have lunch at theirs every 4 to 6 weeks and they have tea & cake at ours every 2 months or so.

It is sweet that they are interested but you should be able to miss a week every so often if you fancy it!

biscuitytrousers what would your dh's reasons be for being unhappy if you weren't there?

winky- my sentements exactly.. my dh though is such a smuck at times.. he said that he feels obliged to take dd to see them as the only way of thanking them for bringing him up- I mean purlease!!!!!!

I love FIL, think he is hilarious and don't find him irritating at all whereas my MIL- I have a lot of previous threads about this toxic woman.

My DH understands that his mother is very undermining and basically evil but she's still his mom which is very true, I should be grateful to her for inflicting her toxicness on him anyway I think I might use the friend tactic.. but can we bear the silent weeping down the phone when they find out we're not coming?

Once or twice a month - that is more than enough!

Rubysmom08, once or twice a month sounds plenty for you to go over. Why don't they come over to yours? We see my ILs usually about once a month (where we will go and stay the weekend with them) but they will come and see DS once a week or fortnight. And sometimes we will pop by for the day (an hour's drive away). In the beginning we were going once a fortnight (cos they asked us to) and DH and I then both agreed we needed to have a life as well so cut it right down and put it to them that they are more than welcome to come and visit anytime. You need to find a midway point you are all happy with.

I always try and get dh to see his mum without me...he has just gone there tonght so that we don;t have to go at the weekend...

I think when you have children it's really important that you establish positive networks of friend so that you don't feel isolated in your new role of parent.

Obviously don't exclude family members but if they're not the people you'd like to spend time with then see them as is reasonable.

biscuity- my dh did pull a bit of a strop the first time I suggested I'd rather scrub the loo that see his parents, but then after explaining myself he seemed to 'get it'..

We see them every weekend, but I love it for the kids as they're very close and it's something my husband and I never had as kids!
We're lucky to get on well though and I feel for those who are in constant battle.

We used to see mine every weekend plus holidays together. (Dh only child)

They fell out with us on our holiday so we don't see them at all . They see the ds's every month or two which is plenty.

As long as my dc and dh see the PIL regularly, I am sure they don't care if they see me. But I tend to think that my dc and dh should see them as much as I would want to see my dc when grown up.

Not often but this is DH's wish.

Once - Ever! Well there is only MIL and she seemed perfectly nice to me, and reasonably interested in her GD. Well wanted a photo to go with the others....DH doesn't like her though ( for no real reason that he has ever explained to me - aprt from "she is a bit mad") I think we will see her at Xmas. I prefer to make up my own mind about people....

Very often, at least one weekend a month (they live in the country). We go because we enjoy our time there ( plus they babysit ) and the children really adore them.

We live on the same road as my PILs and see them at least twice a week. DS & I spend the day with MIL every Wednesday with DH & FIL joining us for dinner after work, and MIL feeds us every Saturday evening as well . MIL also looks after DS occasionally when I have stuff on & DH isn't available...plus I go to a local women's group (WI type thing) with MIL every other week....and when the weather is good DS & I join PIL on their allotment to help them out.

I love the fact that we see them so often and DS is growing up with family so close...kind of comforting to know that he could run round there and get MIL shoudl anything happen to me...

Mil is 5 mins away and so she either pops around or I take the dcs to her. two or three times a week. she is lovely so I don't mind.