To want to slap dh across the face with a wet haddock??

[theSuburbanDryad]

We are in the process of moving house, from our current rental to our first bought house. It's a lot of stress, and I'm the one sorting most of it out (as I only work 3 days a week, and he works 5). I am currently 6.5 months pg and he has just had a hernia op, so neither of us can do any heavy lifting. With this in mind, I've been getting quotes from removal companies to see how much it would cost to pack up our old house and move us to the new one. The first quote (which I got this morning) was £650.

Now, dh reckons that's far too much, and we should just do it ourselves. My main objection to this is that "we should do it ourselves" actually translates into "I think you should do it", and I'm buggered if I'm going to. Last time we moved (both times, actually) I ended up doing the lion's share of the work and quite frankly, I can't be arsed. We have the money to pay someone to do it, so I think we should.

Dh has now got the hump with me, because he thinks I'm being unfair in assuming I'd end up doing most of the work. I've pointed out that it's not an assault on his character, I know that he is essentially a lazy arse - it's just the way he is (there have many a thread from me on this subject!) and me wanting to pay someone to move us to save myself the hassle is in the same vein as me wanting to get a cleaner so I don't end up doing everything, like I do at the moment. As far as I'm concerned it seems like the easiest way to avoid conflict, it's clear to me that he won't do the work he says he will and I don't want to end up doing everything and feeling bitter and unhappy about it! Yet somehow he even manages to fuck that up!!

AARRRGH! Feel like I can't win at the moment, tbh!

I think you are being entirely reasonable. I know that £650 seems like loads, but it's worth paying to avoid huge rows, and in your case, hospitalisation.

we just moved and I nearly fainted when we got quotes. but it can't be a coincidence that the first time we pay the professionals to move us is the first time we haven't rowed horribly when moving.

I think the quote is really good actually as we paid more than that 7 years ago. I had a 6 month old at the time and having someone come in and pack was invaluable.

If I could have afforded to do to it I would have loved someone to pack up for us... though then I wouldn't have been able to chuck out all of the rubbish that DH said was so important, yet has never noticed I dumped!

tell him the alternative is you spend the £650 on a health spa and he does the moving whilst you are there

PW - if only it was that simple!

Dh doesn't want someone packing up our stuff, he doesn't trust them not to nick it, or something. I pointed out that part of what you pay for in the quote is the peace of mind that the removal company is insured and registered with a trade organisation (Guild of Removers???) so that they don't nick our stuff! It's laughable, really, or it would be if I wasn't so fecking stressed by it!

I pointed out that if he was willing to do all the work and pack up the whole house while I looked after ds I'd be happy to let him but I know that a) He'll fuck it up and I'll end up doing it and b) He won't be able to organise himself sufficiently to do it and I'll end up doing it.

If you are 6.5 months pg you should NOT be doing any heavy lifting of stuff. I know I did just get on with stuff when pg but it's a terrible risk to take. How would he feel if you went into premie labour, even if he was doing his fair share?

you are pg, he is recovering from hernia op, NEITHER of you should be doing too much.

Do you have any family or friends that would rally round if you do decide to DIY move and do the heavy stuff for both of you?

same here, we got removals and had a lovely fairly stress free day and were so happy by the end of it. worth every penny.

Madness -- of course you should pay someone and then you should be insured if something gets broken. Tell him that, tell him that if something gets broken someone else pays for it.

Do it- never had an easier move than the last one when we got someone else to do it . Your quote wasn't too bad if that was to pack you too. Pull the 'I'm worried about your health if you want to know the truth' card if he is still objecting.

x posts you have already told him

in that case bring on the haddock

I think that quote is really good. Think of it this way - they have insurance too (or at least they should have). We thought we'd save a few bob, and then the TV got dropped and ruined.....

Worth every penny imo. Just make sure you pack your own knicker drawer and leave the rest to the movers!

Pay removal company.

We moved house when i had an 8 week old newborn who'd been in special care and i'd had a c-section. DH was then ill so thank the lord i'd got the nice removal men to pack us up. Just cleaning the old house was stressful enough by myself as he was meant to help but took to his bed with man-flu.

He's lucky not to have been hit over the head with a frying pan.

good point portofino - last time we moved ourselves, we got the sofa really dirty through dropping it, and broke a few bits of crockery. the professional have the knack that we mortals do not.

we moved when i was 38 weeks pregnant. was brilliant. everyone else did the stuff

I just don't understand why he's being such a massive knob about it. He seems to feel that it's a huge insult to him, for me to suggest that he won't do the stuff he says he will, but when it comes down to it, I know him, and I know that although he says he'll do x, y and z, he'll in fact sit on his arse playing computer games and faff about until I get fed up with it and do it myself!

I likened it to the fact that I end up doing the majority of the housework, and that this was why I wanted to get a cleaner once a week after we'd moved to help, and also a dishwasher. He tried to point out that he did washing up and laundry which makes me quite cross, actually, because he doesn't do any washing up at all in the week (I do all the dishes and cooking in the week) and I've tried to stop him doing the laundry because he shrinks my delicates!

For dh.

video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2002541459944162494 later tonight.

Suburban Dryad

I might just slap him across the face with a wet haddock anyway, tbh. Just because.

Why is he being such a massive arse?? I don't get it!

I think you are being very unreasonable. I think you should slap him across the face with a tuna, its bigger!
Silly man, does he not remember you are pregnant? I'm 6 months pregnant myself and there is no way I'd be able to do all the stuff. What price do you put on your health and the health of your unborn baby? Book it yourself and tell him it was a necessity. Good luck with your move