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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if you borrow a new book from someone and lose it, you might offer to replace it?

20 replies

CrushaGrape · 19/11/2008 15:41

Am a bit peeved with a friend who borrowed a book of mine, just after I'd bought and read it (I'd had it about a week). A couple of months later I asked for it back, as my DP's mum wanted to read it, and she said "oh! I haven't finished it yet". Another month or so passes and I ask her again, and this time she says she'd leant it to her own mother, but would get it back.

Another couple of months pass and I was at her flat, and while she was making tea I began looking at her bookshelves. When she came back in the room I asked if she had finished with that book, so I could give it to DP's mum. She said, "is it not on the shelf? I guess flatmate-who-has-just-moved-out must have taken it".

Now I know it is just a £6.99 book, but wouldn't you offer to replace something if you borrowed it and lost it? It seems too petty an issue to ask her to replace it, but it's just annoying that she doesn't think it's the decent and normal thing to do...or maybe it isn't? Maybe IBU.

OP posts:
doggiesayswoof · 19/11/2008 15:43

YANBU

However, never lend anything you're not prepared to lose. Especially money.

Blinglovin · 19/11/2008 15:43

YANBU

But pointless saying anything. Just don't lend her anything again.

OrangeKnickers · 19/11/2008 15:44

jesus - that would piss me off. Not the amount but the rudeness. YANBU

TheBlonde · 19/11/2008 15:44

YANBU
I just wouldn't lend her anything again

Blinglovin · 19/11/2008 15:47

Also, I should mention that while I lend books to my brother, I don't borrow books from him. Simply because he's one of those compulsives who manages to read a 1000 page book without so much as splitting the spine slightly but if you give it back with even a single page bent he has a heart attack! I think he's an anal fool but they're his books and so we have mutually agreed I won't borrow them! (I'm allowed to read them at his house - but can't ever put them in my handbag aka the "book destroyer")

LazySleepy · 19/11/2008 15:48

yanbu

Lucifera · 19/11/2008 16:24

I am so anal about this I can almost remember every book I have lent and not had back, and still bear a grudge for the unreplaceable US journal I lost 25 years ago! So - er - YANBU ...

Shuggybee · 19/11/2008 21:54

YANBU I'd be embarrased if I lost a book and would replace it straight away. Blinglovin I don't read my husbands books as he goes crackers if I even crease the spine or fold any corners down!

Blinglovin · 20/11/2008 09:51

weirdos!

saadia · 20/11/2008 09:59

YANBU, that is very bad but unfortunately people seem to think it's OK to never return books. I think they think that if you've read it then you don't need it anymore. I now only lend to people who are reliable. I'm like you Lucifera, there are two books I lent to people years ago and am still sad that I never got them back.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/11/2008 11:22

YANBU

i love books and read lots, and i would be seriously pissed off,and i would ask friend to replace it

LurkerOfTheUniverse · 20/11/2008 11:25

yanbu

I have slight anxiety when I lend books

yes I'm a weirdo

Blinglovin · 20/11/2008 11:35

My problem is that I always lend people the books I love. Obviously. I don't say, "oh my word, you must read this trashy romance novel that bored me silly". Then I never get them back!

But I'm more relaxed about it. [although i stand by my original YANBU comment in that your friend was just rude!]

jumpingbeans · 20/11/2008 11:37

It would not bother me if I had read it, but I can understand you being annoyed, so yanbu

alicet · 20/11/2008 14:54

YANBU - if she knew you wanted it back to lend to your dp's mum I think it is unbelieveably rude that she would then lend it to someone else without asking and not just give it back to you when she had finished. I mean you clearly wanted it back.

I am from the school of only lending books that I am not bothered about getting back though - ones that I have loved and want to read again I either don't lend or if I do I expressly say that I would like it back when they have finished.

tiedsville · 20/11/2008 16:32

Gosh, you have just reminded me to replace a friend of mine's book! She lent me a book that I didn't really want to borrow, but she raved on how brilliant it was. I was paticularly nervous about taking the book from her, as she made a speech about how she likes her books to be returned in perfect condition. I swear she turns the pages with tweezers.
I always leave a book I'm reading on the side bed cabinet. Anyhow, went to turn off lamp, my glass of water spilt all over it. She fecking jinx me!
I intended to replace the book immediately, I just haven't got round to it yet. YANBU

BitOfFun · 20/11/2008 16:38

YANBU, why do people do this? I worked in a bookshop for years, and I would say that at least a quarter of our trade in books not on the bestseller list was from people who said at the till "I read this ages ago, but X borrowed it and I never got it back"...

morningpaper · 20/11/2008 16:40

I think you ARE BU

I lend books out all the time and don't care if they come back or not

jennieflower · 20/11/2008 16:45

I think YABU ( just a little though)

I always lend books out in the hope that they don't come back to me, Once I've read them they're of no use to me and I don't want them cluttering up my house.

Maybe your friend has the same attitude to books?

CrushaGrape · 21/11/2008 17:40

Yay! Pleased to see almost unanimous agreement, as DP thinks I am being silly (despite the fact that if someone doesn't return one of his CDs he gets very stroppy about it).

I live and learn - no more lending to her.

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