... when do so many little favours become taking the p...?

[Maveta]

This one is on dh's behalf. He works in a intrument shop in a village about 10mins drive from our village. We don't know our neighbours well, to say hi to and that's it. They have 4 dses. The sons used to occasionally ask him to bring them guitar strings on his way home to save them a trip and so dh would, kind of annoyed him because the kids were generally a bit rude/not particularly grateful (read: teenager) and well, his job ends when he walks out the door and he doesn't like being hounded at home re. work stuff when they could just go to the store like everyone else. But he did it.

He's now getting quite irritated with it though, it was just strings occasionally, then their mum wanted a birthday present. He kept forgetting this a couple of days in a row as he was really busy at work and they'd ask the night before (ringing the bell after ds was in bed) and by the time he came home the next day he forgot. 3 days in a row they pestered him and he said he'd try to remember, sorry, etc.

Anyway, now the mum's dp has started, he brought round a broken piece of equipment and asked dh if he could order the missing piece, so dh had a look and said ok no probs. Now the guy has just called me (we have a vague connection through work) and asked me when dh will be in so he can speak about ordering something else for his kid.

Is this all really petty? Dh is getting really fed up of it, why can't they just go to the shop like everyone else? He's not the owner, he just works there, and these people aren't even particularly nice (I suspect this is the key). I can't imagine he'd ever say anything to them but is it unreasonable to think they are kind of taking the piss?

Just tell them he cant do this unless they physically visit the shop during working hours.

Well he is technically doing them a favour, and if they haven't even got the decency to act grateful then he shouldn't be wasting his time.

Tricky one to extricate himself from without appearing rude. I think I'd go down the route of having a poor memory, which he has already demonstrated through forgetting the birthday present, and say that he really can't remember stuff unless he is actually in the shop at the time.

I don't think its petty though, would annoy me as well.

I think they are taking the piss cos it's a one way thing - your dp is doing things for them with nothing back, not even some thanks.

Obviously there is occasions when you wouldn't expect something for doing things for other people. But this is something they can do for themselves.

I'd get your dp to tell them that staff members are now banned from buying/ordering stuff on behalf of others. And he's sorry, but they'll have to get their own stuff from now on.

And it makes a huge difference if people are nice about it and appreciate that you have done them a favour.

I have said to dh to say something along the lines of some new rule re. bringing stuff home, will suggest it again. It's ultimately up to him to sort it out but glad to know the MN jury (albeit a very small one) is on our side

would they return the favour i wonder??...i know you dont give to receive iykwim but it cant all be one way traffic can it?....maybe if you start asking a few favours of their sons...such as, would you mind washing my car for me next weekend and i bet you dont see them for dust.

to answer your question, no yanbu

lol, I would love to see their faces if we suggested that trade off

YANBU. They sound like a load of ill mannered people. Just remind your husband to be more forgetful in the future.

yanbu
he needs to tell them that there is a new rule at work and he can no longer do this stuff for them.

Easy, just charge above the odds for the parts he's ordering in out of work hours and keep the difference. Effectively he's buying parts and selling them on anyway, so why not make some money from it?