To want to go on holiday with my mum friends?

[ShouldIGoOnHoliday]

I have been asked by a group of friends if I'd like to go on holiday with them. I would like to go but DH has objected quite strongly to this. The reasons being:

1. The money (about £600) would have to come out of OUR savings.

1. DH would have to look after the dc's on his own for six days (three of which he would have to take time off work for).

1. I am a SAHM and while life was hard work when the dcs were tiny, my life is so much easier now they're in school. DH works long hours and doesn't therefore have time to MN / meet up with friends for coffee keep the family operation running at the home front .

When dh and I decided that it was best for me not to go back to work for a while we accepted we would have to make sacrifices such as nice holidays etc. I am happy with this... I feel privileged to be able to be a SAHM for now, although I do intend to go back to work one day.

So, should I just stand down and say 'fair enough' or should I fight for this holiday? DH did go abroad for four nights on a stag do many years ago but I think I'd be petty to be all 'tit for tat' about it.

None of the other mums seem to be facing opposition. Perhaps my DH is being unreasonable?

Sorry for the NC - just a bit paranoid about being identified.

Will this mean you can't go on a family holiday as well? if so then I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I also think taking so much money out of both your savings just for you is a bit selfish.

In the current economic climate, I'd rather have the savings.

I think that you should back down and not go.

As much as it sounds soo lovely and a lot of fun, I would be abit if my DH wanted to go away for a week with his mates and spend our money on it, esp. as we'd agreed to cut down on family holidays. Can you compramise and maybe go away with a group of mates for a weekend?

Hmmm.... I suspect these are my real feelings too ledodgy. We usually just go camping in Cornwall! The chance of being able to afford for us all to go on a nice holiday somewhere hot ain't gonna happen for years yet!

"When dh and I decided that it was best for me not to go back to work for a while we accepted we would have to make sacrifices such as nice holidays etc."

I think this line of your post gives you the answer.

JOdie, I originally suggested this - just a couple of nights at a spa or something - (I would be more than happy with it) but my friends all want to go somewhere sunny and exotic!

I'm in the same boat as some friends (no children) have talked about a girl's holiday in the summer but there's no way I could even consider it. One because I probably wouldn't be able to afford it, also because it would mean dp taking a week of work to look after the kids which is a week we could use to do something as a family and I doubt we are going on holiday as a family this year either.

coppertop - exactamundo.

I think I've answered my own question here, think I just want some reassurance that I'm not being a complete martyr by agreeing with DH!

SIGOH - I'll go to a spa with you!

Why don't you suggest that you both take a little out of the savings for the family holiday this year and maybe get a cottage instead of camping for a bit of luxury?

Ledodgy - you are right we could put the money towards our family holiday (perhaps a luxury tippee in Spain rather than our creaking four-man down in boggy Cornwall!)

I'm feeling a lot better now and a lot less undecided! I love AIBU for a bit of perspective. We live in a very affluent area where I was starting to wonder if I had a right to this holiday!

Korma - yes it can be frustrating, and I think when you are a parent it's sometimes hard to know where lines should be drawn - what are the parameters between the giving and taking?

Think of all the brownie points you'll earn from dh if you decide that you'll stay at home after all. They might be useful one day.

I keep reading the title as you wanting to go on holiday with your mum's friends.

Yes, and I know upon returning from six days in the sun all relaxed and lovely DH would be in a bad mood and the house would be a tip. God knows what else. Talk about a bucket of iced water.

Think I may milk the old 'I have decided not to go' speech just to maximise the brownie points!

Oh god - a holiday with my mum's friends... how sad!

Well now you've decided not to go use to your advantage for example -

'Darling i've decided you are totally right about me not going on holiday and your reasons are all justified. I love you.
Oh by the way it's fine if you have the children whilst I go out on the town on Saturday night isn't it?
Thanks Sweet cheeks'

I think your DH is being a bit mean.

I would be furious if dh spent that kind of money to go off on a jolly with his friends for a week and left me at home, especially if it meant not being able to afford to go anywhere decent as a family.

If it was me, I would also want to spend the money on my family and not on going away with friends.