to have told my SAHM friend she shouldn't moan about her DH not helping round the house

[wonderwoman73]

In a nutshell, she doesn't work, he works a 50 - 60 hour week plus 2 hours commuting a day and she's just been bending my ear about how he doesn't help round the house. Given he works really hard so she doesn't have to I think she should accept that she has to do most or all of the chores (oh, and they have a cleaner too).

What does she do all day?

Well DH works long hours and I am a SAHM but he helps out, given we don't have a cleaner but I have to do all washing, ironing, shopping for food and all presents and running kids around everywhere as well as delaling with their tantrums and whinges - its a partnership and just because one of you goes to work it doesn't mean they are excused from helping with the kids or around the house.

I have just stopped working actually and I have to say being a SAHM is far more tiring and hard work than going to a nice cosy office where I could chat about grown up things, get a coffee and drink it whilst it was warm and eat my sandwiches in peace and then read my book on the train on the way home.

Now the only time I get to actually relax and do something I want is at the gym - which isn't that relaxing to be honest.

Hmmm, your friend could be me... DH works very hard and commutes into the city to provide us a very nice standard of living, but I have to say he does absolutely nothing at weekends. My dad was always very busy DIYing and doing 'man jobs' around the house and I do wish he would contribute a bit sometimes.

Being a SAHM is pretty lonely and you feel like you're doing all the house stuff and child care on your own so I can understand your friend. Selfish though it might seem.

Hmmm, I think YABU
It's his home too, he shouldn't take it for granted that she does everything.

yabu. Its a partnership. I am a SAHM and my day doesnt stop at 5.30. I often dont sit down until 9.30 - 10.00pm.

I know my dh works hard, but so do I and i expect him to pull his weight at home too (although I do the majority of course)

apart from anything, i want my children to see that a relationship is about equality and mutual respect and that we've moved on from the 50's when the dad comes home from work to sit on the sofa with a newspaper and get handed a cup of tea from subserviant wife!