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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really angry with my GP surgery?????

69 replies

mosschops30 · 17/11/2008 12:45

Last week I had a double appointment (20 minutes) booked for minor surgery (mole removal) at my GP surger.
I had worked 3 x 12hr shifts prior to this, had not looked in my diary, was completely knackered and missed the appointment.

As soon as I realised I rang the surgery and apologised for any inconvenience and explained the situation.

This morning I received a letter from them which states 'to simply not bother to turn up is unnacceptable and results in a complete waste of valuable doctor time'

I feel a bit pissed off at that given that I did ring and apologise, so do I just let it go over my head and AIBU?

OP posts:
AussieLou · 17/11/2008 12:51

No I dont think you are. How often do you arrive in time fort your appointment only to end up waiting an hour or more (Yes I know that things can run over so please do not hate me for that comment). You rang them and explained the situation. They ABU not you. In the end what can you do? Nothing. Have a whinge and moan and feel better after.

lulumama · 17/11/2008 12:53

i imagine it is a standard letter sent out to everyone who misses an appointment.

at the end of the day, you did forget to go, you did apologise, but they still lost their appointments that someone else could have used.

nothing else you can do , no point getting more cross about it.

wishingchair · 17/11/2008 12:53

Let it go over your head. Yes you did ring but after the fact which meant that the appointment couldn't be allocated to anyone else. It's very difficult ... everyone complains they can't get an appointment when they want one, yet at the same time a huge number of appointments are made and missed. They're just trying to remedy this problem.

monkeymonkeymonkey · 17/11/2008 12:54

They probably just put all the notes of the people who DNA in a stack and then send a letter like that to them all.

VinegarTits · 17/11/2008 12:58

Yabu to be angry, its probably a standard letter, let it go over your head

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/11/2008 13:09

I work in a dentists and we send out such letters automatically to people who don't turn up, and sometimes the letter does go out before the person calls to explain, or someone sends the letter who had not known that they had called. I wouldn't take it personally at all!

MadameCastafiore · 17/11/2008 13:12

Well someone else who really needed those 2 appointments could be equally pissed off at not having one that you didn't turn up to so no they are not being unreasonable - the doctor has this problam constantly and lots of people miss out due to others not turning up for appointments.

Imagine if you needed to take DC to the doctors and were told they were full only to find out some inconsiderate sod hadn't turned up for an appointment - hopefully this will make you be more diligent in future.

choccyp1g · 17/11/2008 13:20

A plea to all doctors on here. Have you ever sat doing nothing because someone hasn't turned up? It seems to me that unless it is the very first of the session, then either things are already running late, or the next patient is already waiting, so the time is not actually lost.

I usually turn up quite early for appointments, but never get in on time.

mayorquimby · 17/11/2008 13:30

standard letter to someone who booked time with the surgery and then just didn't showup, which would inevitably meant a slot went vacant that could have been alloted to another patient

onthewarpath · 17/11/2008 13:34

I was chucked out of my dentist list because i missed an appointment while giving birth to dd4. I do know it is standard practice but it does not make it less irritating as no excuse is ever good enough to them . they probably think we are all liars anyway...

Original poster
mosschops30 · 17/11/2008 16:16

madamecaster your views are precisely why old timers are leaving MN because you have no sense of humour and see only in black and white!
Thanks to all of you who made me see IABU without being patronising or

BTW madame at most docs if you need an emergency appointment for anything including your dc's you will get one, or you simply take them to A&E

OP posts:
thefortbuilder · 17/11/2008 17:04

mosschops30 off subject but i don't really thing that is why old timers are leaving MN - more to do with the fact that there are so many trolling threads and that people don't seem to be able to take the fact that MN is pretty punchy and in your face (sorry for irritating terminology can't think of the right words).

I actually agree with MC in that it is supremely irritating when you make the effort to turn up and you know others haven't.

And to take your 2yr old into the emergency surgery at the end of the surgery time and sit there for an hour or more waiting with them, or take them to A&E is an option but not a preferable one.

FWIW I do agree with everyone else's posts, but I think you were a bit harsh with MC.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 17/11/2008 17:10

flick I think its the way its put across. So many threads at the moment have such bloody humourless people who just like to sit on the moral highground about everything and its sooo tiresome.
I have no problem with people not agreeing with me, most people on here have said IABU and I accept that but I hate this 'well someone with a sick dc couldve used that appointment'.
Dont get me started on people who really waste the NHS time (and I work in it)!

I dont think its to do with trolls, we've always had trolls, i think its this humourless holier than thou attitude which is draining.

p.s. thanks for your opinion on my no-show, this is not an attack at you, just making my point

OP posts:
Libra1975 · 17/11/2008 17:17

To be fair your OP was pretty humourless.

mm22bys · 17/11/2008 17:31

Don't be angry, you're lucky you weren't chucked off their list! I missed an appointment for DS1, and as soon as I realised I rang up to apologise - they told me he'd been discharged and that he would have to be re-referred by a GP. (It was the last thing on my mind, he was due to go to hospital for surgery the next day, and every week since last September last year DS2 has had at least three appointments every week - this one for DS1 was the first I've ever missed - think they were way to harsh but I know that missed appointments cost US hundreds of millions of pounds).

YABU.

ummadam · 17/11/2008 17:43

It's a standard letter and I wouldn't pay it any more attention. If you have a habit of missing appointments and it is your 2nd or 3rd letter you may want to write a brief reply apologising again and reminding them that you phoned to apologise so that that letter will be filed in your record (in case of future missed appointments). If it is a one off I would ignore it.

choccyp1g - sit doing nothing? chance would be a fine thing It is very frustrating when appointments early in the morning or afternoon are missed but otherwise it can be useful catch up time. I have often swung in late for afternoon surgery after being stuck waiting for an ambulance or speaking to relatives at a home visit and in those cases I am very relieved if noone is waiting for me - I hate making people wait and if I do it is because the person before you (or before them if I've nearly caught up) was either really sick, really horrid and shouty or really upset. When we run late don't forget we end up going home late by that much too so it isn't by choice!

What is very frustrating is that it is often whole families that have booked several appointments and all fail to attend. There are some people whose name you see on the list and you can be 99% sure they won't turn up or phone because they never do and they only booked the appointment that morning.

The people who really miss out are the other patients - and I suppose me as it is me they shout at when they couldn't get an appointment yesterday despite several of my patients not turning up.

To the original poster - don't worry, we are all human and forget things sometimes. Perhaps the person who was supposed to take your standard letter out of the pile for that day forgot and posted it instead

MadamDeathstare · 17/11/2008 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefortbuilder · 17/11/2008 18:26

but mosschops MC is not a humourless poster (from other threads i've happened upon, i'm not stalking you MC!!) - it's a pretty straight to the point reply and as the thread is in AIBU isn't it reasonable to expect that you will get straight to the point responses?

sorry I'm not labouring the point here, well maybe I am but I just think it's a bit unnecessary to reply as you did.

will drop the subject now

cheshirekitty · 17/11/2008 19:22

I have sat twiddling my toes with the doctor many times because of patients not turning up for appointments (this afternoon was the last time).

The clinic I run fits mirenas etc. and we try really hard to run on time as I feel for the poor woment waiting their turn. The only time we would be late is if a patient was taken poorly. I have had some patients turn up at 20 minutes past the hour for the hour appointment. This does get my back up as it means the poor lady coming at half past the hour will be late going in through no fault of ours.

So yes, I have twiddled my toes because of DNA's. And the doc has twiddled his/hers.

mm22bys · 18/11/2008 21:22

So do you wait for people to turn up? I would have thought logically that you have patients by appointment time, but if a patient doesn't turn up you just go to the next one on the list, or does it not work that way?

Eg, DS2 had to have blood tests today (different I know to set appointment times but surely principle would be the same....) - there were several people in front of us, and he had to wait 30 minutes for the cream to work, so they told us to go away and have lunch. If we weren't back by the time it was his "turn", they told us they would just go to the next person on the list, and then "slot" DS2 back in when we showed back up again.

(As it turned out, we had to wait an additional half hour after we turned back after lunch as we had to wait for a special vial for his blood, and for the technician to physically be present to process the blood on the spot.)

It seems a waste of so many resources for doctors, nurses, other staff to sit around doing nothing waiting for a patient when there are others waiting!

Sawyer64 · 18/11/2008 21:38

You have to be very careful to allow someone who turns up "early" to be seen when someone is late,as some times people are 5/10 mins late for their appointment,but turn up before their appointment time is finished(iyswim) and you decide to call someone in,and then the previous one turns up a minute or so after you have called the next one in,when they come out, an almighty row ensues........!!!

It is a tricky job balancing it all out sometimes,and I try to be flexible,and understand that everyone has good reasons sometimes.Most people apologise and thats enough for me,hate it when people have a go though,as the "appointments" are just a guide IMO,some people need more time than others.

moondog · 18/11/2008 21:41

You need to get a grip.

Have you any idea how much money is wasted by people who can't get their arses into gear and keep appointments?

What's the shift thing got to do with anything?

You wouldn't have missed it if you'd had to pay,let me tell you.

Quattrocento · 18/11/2008 21:43

It would be reasonable to charge for missed appointments, I think.

moondog · 18/11/2008 21:45

You would not believe how we are dicked around in my dept (SALT) by people who do this over and over and over.

themoon66 · 18/11/2008 21:47

Agree with Sawyer... letting people get seen a few mins early because the previous person appears to have not turn up causes problems if the first person then turns up a min or two late.

If people DNA (did not attend) once, the doctors generally tell me to just discharge them. I do tend to take pity though and leave them as an 'open' appointment on the hospital computer system, so if they ring to apologise (like the OP did), I can sneak them back onto the list without anyone 'official' knowing.

One day I'm going to get caught manipulating the system