To feel really cross with mother-in-law

[girlandboy]

who came to visit yesterday. She asked the dc's what they would like for Christmas, and they gave her a couple of ideas.

She then put her hand up to her mouth (to hide the whisper) and whispered very loudly to sfil "they're getting a Nintendo Wii from ds and dil!"

I heard it!
Dh heard it!
Bloody sure dd heard it!
Don't think ds heard it.

Dd now has casually commented while flicking through the Argos catalogue, "oooh, that Mario and Sonic wii game is meant to be really good!" I casually answered "oh, is that right?!"
Every bloody advert that came on the telly about Wii's was commented on by dd.

SHE KNOWS DOESN'T SHE!

I know she's 13 but it would have been nice for her to have a surprise, especially as this is a shared present between her and her brother (8), and frankly she won't be getting much else because it was so pricey. She'll get a few nice girly things, but the Wii is her main pressie.

When mil was going, dh went with her to the car and told her off a bit. She denied that the dc's would have heard her.

I just felt rather angry and let down, and I dread seeing her again, because I feel all tight-lipped about it now.

Should I say anything to her, or just let it go? Letting it go would probably be the "safer" option because I hate to upset the apple cart on things, but I feel disappointed and cross.

Grrrr IL's just love a wind up don't they????!!!!

Trouble is, she doesn't think there was anything wrong in it.

She also gives out a bit of pocket money for the dc's. She always gives them £2 each. This is once a fortnight.

Yesterday she gave ds his £2, then when dd went into another room, she followed her and gave her £3. When dd asked why she had given her more, she said it was because dd was older, but "don't tell your brother".

Dd came to me after mil had gone and told me what had happened. She was quite uncomfortable about it (bless her). I then told dh what his mum had done, and that I wasn't happy about it. Not so much that she had given dd more money than ds, but that she had told dd to keep it a secret. I feel she shouldn't expect her gd to keep secrets from her family. Dh agreed and said that he would have a word with his mum.

Bloody woman.

They just don't think.
Last year my mil (who is wonderful normally) said 'what time did you finish filling the dc stockings last night?' all in ear shot od dd1. thank God she didn't notice but oh I was cross!

Maybe her hearing is going a bit, so she honestly didn't realise how loudly she'd said it?

That said, she should have been mortified when you told her that you thought dd HAD heard - and very apologetic, to boot.

Your dd will still be more than happy and grateful for her present.

I'm glad your dh has agreed to have a chat with her about her telling your dd to keep a secret like that from her brother.

sunnygirl.

Yes, her hearing is going a bit - she wears a hearing aid, but she won't turn the fecker on!!!!! Or if it's on, it's only on "quietly".

It was the stage whisper from hell!

I told dh today that I still felt very cross with his mum, and I could tell that he was too. He said that "she ought to turn that f---ing hearing aid up a bit, and think before she opens her mouth" and in relation to the pocket money thing that she's "a stupid woman". He was well pissed off!

I can understand how you would like to keep it a surprise for Christmas but I honestly can't see why you would get tight-lipped with her about it. I would just be thankful that my dc have such lovely gp's that would buy such a nice pressie.

The Wii is from ME and DH!!!

She has spoilt the surprise!!

Ohhh. Didn't read that right then. Yes, I see your point. I would be pissed off

Hello, just thought I'd add my 2p worth: when the moment presents itself in the near future I would sit her down and explain that it is obvious that DD did hear her,and that you and DH are very sad that the anticipation and joy of surprise and expectation has been taken from DD ....she will feel worse if you present it as DD's loss rather than yours and DH's(it is both of course)-not that you should want her to feel bad, but hopefully it will make her think. YANBU.

Neverenough - yes, you are right! That's a good idea.

At the moment I do feel bad, I'd like to throttle her at the moment. It's perhaps a good job I won't see her for a week or two. I will have simmered down by then (probably) and will be calm enough to say what you suggest.

Good on yer!

You're welcome girlandboy!