to expect a little help / interest in buying a house together?

[navyeyelasH]

DP and I have been together for 5 years; we (or so I thought) have decided to buy a house together soonish.

Is it normal man behaviour to not show any interest in finding a house? He doesn't look for them on-line, forgets to get the property paper, if I show him one on-line he always has a negative on it, wont contemplate buying a house that is so far away it entails a 20 minute bus journey to his work, he drags his feet on things to do with paperwork, expect me to liaise with all the different estate agents and the mortgage advisor etc.

Is this bloody normal because I am sick of it! When I explain that his behaviour is driving me mad he doesn't seem to care. I really want to (for the first time in our relationship) poke him in the eye.

Should I just buy a house on my own and let him get on with whatever it is he plans to do?

I think you need to talk to him without geting cross or making accusations. Ask him how he feels and what he wants to do. Take it from there

I have talked to him calmly and rationally and he says he can't wait for us to buy a house together!

It's irrational behaviour AFAIC. Shall I just take a step back and let him do the house hunting?

yep... good luck with that one.

Together 10 years, married 7, 3 kids - we still have never bought a house together.

YANBU at all. Big sympathy.

Perhaps he knows that if you wait 12 months you save at least another 10% ?
If you are first time buyers you are in a fab position, don't blow it by rushing in now.

I'm not saying we are going to buy NOW. We had discussed it and we were going to look at the market now, investigate chances of getting a mortgage (actually get a provisional acceptance) and if we found a house we loved that was cheap enough / had non blinkered vendors, (to sustain what we expect to be a further 15%+ drop in the market over the next 2 years), we'd buy now. But only if price was right and house was amazing.

We are FTB, but have been investigating market in our area for 12+ months, both our parents are "in" property so we def would not be making any mistakes financially.

Thinking about it, maybe the fact that it's just exploring and researching at the moment is the reason he is being so Meh. Maybe when it gets to "this is the one" he might perk up a bit.

I just wanted to double check not all men are this not bothered about house shopping and often leave it to the women!